Wow. According to US Weekly, citing a former lover, A-Rod had paintings of himself as a centaur over his bed.

Wow.

Wow.

I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t think it could get funnier than the Details photoshoot, but I think it just did. A-Rod is the comedy gift that keeps on giving.

A centaur. Half-horse half-man.

You know, I’ve been brainstorming for years trying to come up with some idea for my father to follow his Awesomeist classic, Vin Diesel and Usher Riding Into Battle on a Chariot Pulled by White Tigers. Years. I just couldn’t come up with anything that could match that.

But A-Rod did: A-Rod as a centaur.

What’s most amazing, I guess, is that no one had the cojones to stop him.

Which is more damning about the nature of celebrity: That the guy thought it would be a good idea to commission a painting of himself as a centaur, or that no one tried hard enough to talk the guy out of it?

I absolutely must see it. I have to. The A-Rod as a Centaur masterpiece should be in MoMA. It reflects the human condition. It is massurrealism at its finest.