I started this yesterday for Memorial Day but ended up spending most of the day in car dealerships trying to take advantage of some Memorial Day sales. From the Wikipedia: Tadeusz Kosciuszko.

In English, he is Thaddeus Kosciusko. In Lithuanian, he is called Tadas Kosciuška. In Belarusian, his name is Tadevush Kasciushka. On TedQuarters, he is known as a complete badass.

Kosciuszko was born to parents of modest nobility in the mid-18th century near the now-abandoned village of Mereczowszczyzna in the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. He was educated in Warsaw, and when civil war broke out in his homeland, he left for Paris to continue his studies. He returned to the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in 1774 and took a position as a tutor for the family of a provincial governor. Kosciuszko fell in love with the governor’s daughter, Ludwika, but got jumped by her father’s goons when they tried to elope.

Jilted by forbidden love, Kosciuszko emigrated to the British colonies in North America to join the struggle for independence. He read the Declaration of Independence shortly after his arrival and was so impressed with the document that he went to discuss philosophy with Thomas Jefferson in Virginia, because apparently Thomas Jefferson was a pretty accessible dude.

Congress appointed Kosciuszko an engineer in the Continental Army, and he went about employing all sorts of battle and defense tactics that the Wikipedia explains in great detail. Kosciuszko was a smart guy, and was credited with choosing the Americans’ position at Saratoga and setting up an impregnable defense that helped the young nation win the battle widely considered the turning point of the war.

Kosciuszko continued to serve the Continental Army until the war’s end, and supposedly set off a fireworks display in Charleston to celebrate the signing of the Treaty of Paris, because Tadeusz Kosciuszko appreciated some good pyrotechnics. He was promoted to brigadier general and granted American citizenship shortly after the war, and given a tract of land in Ohio for his efforts in the revolution.

Kosciuszko didn’t remain in his new homeland for long, though. He soon returned to Europe to advocate for serfs’ rights and fight against the Russian occupation of his homeland. He emigrated again to the United States before the turn of the century, but once more returned to Europe to work for Polish independence.

Jefferson called Kosciuszko “as pure a son of liberty as I have ever known,” and indeed, Kosciuszko was apparently more dedicated to the ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence than even Jefferson himself. Kosciuszko named Jefferson the executor of his will and left his American property to be used to buy the freedom of Jefferson’s slaves and pay for their education. For some reason not stated on the Wikipedia, Jefferson claimed he was unable to act as the executor, and none of the commodities that Kosciuszko earmarked for freeing and educating slaves were ever used for either purpose.

Kosciuszko’s name is familiar to Brooklyn-Queens Expressway riders because of the bridge in his honor linking, well, Brooklyn and Queens. I have long held that a roadway — especially in this area — is a terrible way to pay tribute to a hero of Kosciuszko’s stature, since the name will inevitably be cursed far more often then it is praised. No one ever says, “oh, what a touching tribute to Major Deegan.” And indeed, though the Kosciuszko Bridge offers perhaps the area’s most spectacular view of the Manhattan skyline, it is more often linked with perpetual traffic.

That’s unfortunate, because Tadeusz Kosciuszko was a great war hero and champion of social reform, an immigrant who made enormous contributions to the foundation of the United States, and a man who appropriately appreciated the awesomeness of fireworks.