Gangly striker Peter Crouch’s parents have been left ‘petrified’ after a gang of wild baboons broke into their hotel room at the Sun City resort near England’s training camp in Rustenburg.

Making the schoolboy error of forgetting to lock their room window before they left, Bruce and Jayne Crouch returned from a trip out to find the hungry monkeys on a mission to liberate some tasty snacks.

– Josh Burt, The Spoiler, via Deadspin.

TedQuarters first reported on the ongoing South African monkey uprising back in November. Commenter Dan provided more insight:

I lived in Cape Town for three months in 2006, and the baboons on the Cape Peninsula were remorseless. People would tell me stories of baboons breaking into their homes, going into their refrigerators.

There is a national park on the south end of the peninsula where visitors have to take real precautions because of them. I ate lunch outside with two other people there, which was ill-advised. A baboon came at me at top speed, and lept onto a picnic table where we were eating. My friend threw a sandwich at him, almost as a reflex. He snatched it out of the air and ran off. But others soon followed him to come after the rest of our lunch.

They are not to be trifled with.

Don’t mess with the monkeys, folks, and take measures to make sure the monkeys don’t mess with you.