You play baseball on Sunday afternoon. You play for the best baseball team, the one that’s the best now and the one that is always the best. All of your teammates get paid a lot, but you are paid the most. You hit your 598th home run in the game and your team wins.
That night, you take a limousine to the ace pitcher’s birthday party at a famous rapper’s nightclub. Your teammates are there. So is the famous rapper and his famous singer wife.
A beautiful blonde moviestar is there to see you, but you don’t speak to her. She is famous, too. You make eye contact across the room. You mouth to her the lyrics to the songs played by the famous DJ.
Before midnight, you make arrangements to leave. You sneak out the back door of the club and the blonde moviestar is waiting in the limousine.
It takes you to the heliport. You grab the blonde and board the helicopter and take off into the night, to some secret getaway for millionaires who date millionaires, someplace accessible by helicopter.
Tuesday, you play baseball again.
Tedquarters 
Maybe I’m old. Maybe it’s that my priorities have changed. But there isn’t one aspect of this scene – other than the playing baseball real well – that I particularly envy.
I don’t know, man. I’m 29, married and exceedingly lame, but this sounds pretty sweet.
Except for the part about pythons at the party. That sounds completely terrifying.
Even when I was younger I hated nightclubs. Give me a hole in the wall bar any day – Bar None on Third Ave. being a particular favorite of mine.
I’m with you Ryan…29, married one year and completely removed from this scene but I could probably handle this scenario.
They have time to hang out with rappers, movie stars, football players, snakes and alligators, but not for Bob Sheppard’s funeral.
Amen, classy organization. Setting aside that MAYBE the active players couldn’t make it for one reason or another, they are still playing baseball this season, I don’t understand how not ONE former Yankee showed up. Awful.
I like to think they hit up a Wendy’s drive-through in a limo, while watching “Orgazmo” and having a farting contest. I bet that’s what celebrities do when no one is around to see them. Glamour in public, frat house in private.
Someone should Photoshop that picture so it looks like he’s lighting money on fire instead of a cigar. I dunno, I just think it’d be funny.
You’re all insane, but I guess if you can convince yourself you don’t want the spoils of A-Rod’s life, then you’re probably better off.
A friend of mine made a claim a few years back that he wouldn’t switch places with Richard Park (of the Islanders). I think this is a more reasonable argument, though I think I would still want to play for the Islanders. Whenever anything bad happens to him, we make fun of him by saying if he was Richard Park that wouldn’t have happened.