A few people have asked that I write up the McRib while it’s on its current limited-time-only run at McDonald’s. I finally had one on Sunday.
I theorized before I did that the McRib might not seem so impressive this time around. The way I figured, the last time I ate a McRib I probably didn’t have nearly as much experience with “real” barbecue food as I do now. I really only began to understand the great joys of wood-fired meat in college — a time for expanding horizons, no doubt — thanks to the excellent work of a place called Rockland’s right up the street from the bar where the Moo Shoo Porkestra played weekly. I mention my band only so you can better understand my lifelong dedication to pork (and also, maybe, because I’m still proud of the name).
Since then, barbecue has become pervasive in New York, with numerous delicious purveyors available. Hill Country and Blue Smoke are my favorite, for what it’s worth.
Anyway, I speculated that my familiarity with barbecue would render the McRib less exciting, and that the only reason the McRib appealed to me — and many others — in the past was that it was the only limited exposure people in the northern half of this country ever had to barbecue-style food.
What I failed to consider, though, is that eating at fancy and/or “authentic” Mexican places has never made Taco Bell any less delicious, since I recognize it’s a totally different thing.
Maybe I’m nuts or my memory is failing me, but the McRib seemed a bit different than I remember it. I seem to recall the meat itself appearing a bit stranger, almost reconstituted in that odd McNugget fashion, where this just appeared to be ground pork with some seasoning in there. Also, it doesn’t appear as if McDonald’s went as far in its hilarious attempt to shape the meat like actual ribs. And I definitely don’t remember there being this many onions, though I may have ordered it sans onions in the past:
I’m not a big onion guy so I knocked a couple of those puppies off before I bit in. I also took time to carefully redistribute the pickles, since they were all piled up on one side of the sandwich.
As for the taste: Not bad. There’s a ton of sauce on there and the sauce is extremely sweet, so that was a little overwhelming. But it’s not a bad flavor, and the pork is at least edible, plus pickles are delicious and the bun tastes like grilled McDonald’s, a good thing.
Straight-up, though, I’d rather have their cheeseburger. When I go to McDonald’s, it’s never because I want a burger or a pork sandwich or pancakes, it’s because I want McDonald’s. The taste, though still good, is pretty distinct from what the food is actually supposed to be. It tastes like McDonald’s. And to me, that flavor is best transmitted through a cheeseburger and fries.
Anyway, because I happened to eat the McRib on the same day I smoked and ate actual pork spare ribs, I figured I’d run down a little tale of the tape for y’all. First, here’s what the spare ribs looked like:
And how they stack up to the McRib:
| Actual ribs | The McRib | |
|---|---|---|
| Cost per serving | Roughly $5 | $2.89 |
| Time investment required | Six hours, including prep and cook time | Three minutes, if you happen to be driving by McDonald’s |
| Presentation | On plate with vegetables and cornbread | Cardboard box |
| Smells like | Hickory smoke | McDonald’s |
| Pork shape | St. Louis cut ribs | Simulated ribs |
| Pork quality | Fall-off-the-bone tender and moist | Vague |
| Pork flavor | Lots of it | Vague |
| Sauce flavor | Sweet and tangy with a tad too much vinegar | Slightly tangy and candy sweet |
| Sauce prevalence | Thin, sticky glaze over the ribs | Goo everywhere |
| With pickles? | No | Yes |
| Bread pairing | Cornbread my wife made | Sort of a stretched-out hamburger bun |
| Edible while driving? | Not at all | With great concentration |
| Napkins required | Multiple paper towels | Leg of jeans |
Tedquarters 
Is it just me or does it seem as if hipster culture (lovers of all things ironic and kitsch) have come to embrace the McRib mania more than anyone? I find it unusual, as in my experience most of them seem to side with veganism. I heard more clamoring about the unexpected return of this cult favorite from my “cool” friends than my “hungry” friends.
You’re asking the wrong guy. I don’t have any cool friends.
Of course by cool I mean constantly in the pursuit of being cool. In my opinion my hungry friends are the ones that are truly cool. They’re also the best friends to have around while trying to accumulate real estate in the Monopoly game at McDonald’s.
the rocklands in glover park? was the bar the now long gone Grog and Tankard?
rocklands is fantastic. it took them forever to open the one in arlington near where i used to live but when they did it was no less then weekly stop on my dining agenda.
Correct on both counts.
I went to the Rockland’s in Alexandria a few weeks ago. Turns out it’s still good.
man, the grog was a real piece of garbage. my friend also used to play there and had stories of the manager deducting a thereto unmentioned “electricity” charge from their previously agreed gate cut. hope things went better for the Moo Shu Porkestra (great name by the way).
this amazing article from the city paper from back in 2004 does a great job summing up the grog’s utter decrapitutde while somehow managing to sound adulatory at the same time.
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/28124/rock-in-a-hard-place
i also love how the three neighboring establishments mentioned in the third paragraph are also all out of business. glover park is a stupid place.
and now i want some Rockland’s mac n cheese like nothing i ever wanted before. i might just may be willing to kill for it, in fact.
Oh yeah, utter hellhole. The owner was generally good to us with money because we were definitely the venue’s biggest regular draw — we played Thursday nights and went to college a few blocks away, and they sold Bud Light cans for $1.50 so it wasn’t hard to get people out. The guy would force us to take Jaeger shots when we didn’t bring out enough people, but that was really it.
Eventually we got sick of the crappy sound system, the smell of vomit and the general routine of it and bailed on our weekly gig. Things got much better for us after that.
Your ribs and accompanying bread and veggies look more appealing than anything I every ate at McDonalds. Maybe you should open up a barbecue spot in your spare time? How about a barbecue truck? You could drive it all over town!
I was trying to figure out where you went and got actual ribs for $5 until I read the rest of the tale of the tape and realized they were homemade. That’s good home cooking right there.