I compare PED users to murderers — of course, it’s not the same thing. But please follow my reasoning. Lots of murderers never get caught. Yet society has no trouble punishing murders who get arrested and convicted. It’s not like a defense lawyer walks into court and says, “Thousands of murderers get away with their crimes, so you should let my client, who wiped out an entire family, go free in the interest of fair play.”

That would be absurd. It also is absurd to let McGwire or Palmeiro into the Hall just because we don’t have the goods on somebody else. We have the goods on McGwire and Palmeiro.

– Lowell Cohn, Santa Rosa Press-Democrat.

Cohn has become the Internet’s new whipping boy for his ridiculous murder comp, but that’s not actually the thing that most stands out about this article to me.

He repeatedly states that he feels good about not voting for known PED users like Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro and Barry Bonds. That’s weird to me. Does that really feel good? Even if you’re broken up about steroid use in baseball — as Cohn undoubtedly is — is it really ever enjoyable to punish someone? Don’t get me wrong, there are times when punishment is just and proper. But even in those cases, is it fun to be the punisher?^*

Apparently Cohn thinks so, and that’s his right. It’s just not for me. I made a terrible substitute teacher.

^{* –} It is definitely fun to be The Punisher, except for the whole tortured-antihero thing.