Tuesday night, TR Luxury and Get It Done Entertainment sponsored a “Welcome to the New York” party for the Knicks’ new point guard, Raymond Felton. According to the event’s invitations, it would be hosted by “the New York Knicks and Amar’e Stoudemire.” This was not so.

Stoudemire never showed up for the Tuesday night bash at Taj – and with fair reason, it seems. He had no idea it was happening….

Felton wasn’t drinking and appeared uninterested in the scantily clad ladies who flanked him. He did pose for photos with rapper Freeky Zekey of Dipset, and afterward the two exchanged numbers. But that was as edgy as things got. During a brief chat, Felton sounded like what he really wanted to do was just hit the couch like Amar’e.

“Stay home,” he replied when asked what he likes to do in the city. “I like to stay home and watch movies because it’s too cold to go out here. I’m not used to this weather.”

– Gatecrasher, N.Y. Daily News.

You really need to click through and read this full article because the excerpt doesn’t do it justice. It reads like something out of The Onion.

Essentially, the party was billed as an Amar’e Stoudemire-hosted “Welcome to New York” bash for Felton, only no one told Stoudemire about it and he was home watching Californication and Tweeting about it.

And Gatecrasher describes it as if the party sucked and Felton was essentially despondent, uninterested in scantily clad women or alcohol, and telling everyone he’d prefer to be home in front of his TV like Amar’e.

Gosh, such typical NBA players. Just a bunch of homebodies.

Later in the article, the party is described as “sad,” and Felton defends Justin Bieber from the M.S.G. fans that booed him.