Believe how? Believe they’re a playoff contender or believe they’re better than a 5-13 team?

I figured the Mets for 84 wins before the season and I’m sticking with that now. If anything, the awful start should serve as a reminder to everyone about the trappings of small sample sizes. Yes, they looked terrible. But teams playing terribly always look terrible, and plenty of teams better than this one have endured 5-13 stretches.

It got really frustrating when people started pulling out the 1962 Mets talk, suggesting — seriously — that this club could challenge that one for the all-time loss record. It’s like everyone forgot the Mets have David Wright and Jose Reyes, among others. And yeah, a handful of good players does not a great team make — we learned that under Omar Minaya — but look at how awful the 1962 Mets were. Every guy in the Mets’ current rotation would have been the ace of that team’s staff. They combined for an Omir Santosian 82 OPS+.

The Mets are not going to win every game for the rest of the season. There will be more bumps along the way. But they don’t have a bad club and they never did. It’s easy to be blinded by all the negativity coming from large portions of the media and fanbase, but the Mets have a deep and pretty good lineup that should score a lot of runs. I’m not optimistic about Johan Santana’s return, so unless Jenrry Mejia is ready to become a good big-league starter by the end of the season  the pitching should be shaky all year. But again, not nearly as awful as it looked in the first couple of weeks.

Here’s the link, since you can’t click through from that image.

What does “Designated Kisser” even mean? Actually, wow, I have so many questions.

For example: A) Is this supposed to be, I don’t know, sexy? Does anyone think this is sexy? B) Do they make underwear with Mets logos and quasi-racy nonsensical slogans for dudes? Because if not, that’s just sexism brother.

Also, I struggle to figure out which is the front and which is the back of women’s underwear. You’d think the bigger side would be the ass side but it doesn’t always work that way. I don’t really want to write about women’s underwear anymore. This is all making me very uncomfortable.

I’m going to vote for Jermaine Copeland, receiver for the L.A. Xtreme.

The week before the XFL started, I saw a headline on ESPN.com that said, “Jermaine Copeland excited for the XFL season.” So, wondering who Jermaine Copeland was and why I should care about his feelings on the XFL season, I clicked through. This is how the article started:

“Jermaine Copeland is excited for the XFL season,” said Los Angeles Xtreme reciever Jermaine Copeland.

Still funny to me. I don’t know if that makes him hardcore, and there’s no way to guarantee that talking in the third person wasn’t written in to XFL contracts, but he’s basically the only XFL player I can remember besides He Hate Me and He Hate Me seemed too obvious an answer.

That one’s easy. Taco Bell is not Latino food. Taco Bell is Taco Bell.

I love Mexican food, but I never go get Taco Bell when I’m in the mood for Mexican food, just like I never get Wendy’s because I’m in the mood for a cheeseburger. I’ve never had actual Mexican food that tastes anything like Taco Bell, and most Mexican places I know don’t even have seasoned ground beef as an option.

And I know people lash out at fast food on principle because it’s corporate and it’s bad for us and all that. But Taco Bell is delicious, convenient and cheap. I don’t owe anybody anything; the burden is on every restaurateur who’s not Glen Bell to come up with something that’s a better value if they want to tear me away from my Cheesy Gordita Crunch.