I should tread lightly here because I always find it annoying when people spend too much time deconstructing their own jokes (not that I have any exclusive claim to the blame-Beltran thing, for that matter). But pretty frequently now I’ll make some sarcastic comment blaming Beltran for something and someone will reply — with no lack of vitriol — to let me know that the joke is dead and I’ve killed it.

But killing it is kind of the point, no?

I don’t know. Come to think of it, I don’t really want to explain why I think it’s funny or why I think repeating punchlines ad infinitum is funny because I’m concerned trying to put it into words will make it stop being funny. But right now it still cracks me up to blame Carlos Beltran for ridiculous stuff, and as long as that’s the case it’ll continue. And I also think it’s funny when people who don’t think the jokes are funny get all riled up about them, because I have innate troll instincts. So, you know, SPOILER ALERT: Probably not going to stop.

Hmm… let’s see. Total guesses, obviously: I’ll say 15 percent chance Reyes gets dealt, 65 percent chance Beltran gets dealt, 30 percent chance Rodriguez gets dealt. That sound right?

I know many Mets fans and media think Reyes’ departure is a done deal, but it has never seemed that way to me. Obviously there’s some chance he goes because he’s in the last year of his contract and he’s awesome, but since the Mets will need to get something back that’s better than two high draft picks, it’s going to take a pretty big deal. And I’m still not convinced they won’t make a run at re-signing him.

Beltran, sadly, seems most likely to go. He’s in the last year of his deal, he’s hitting, and he has a clause in his contract that (selfishly) prevents the Mets from offering him arbitration after the season to collect the draft picks if he leaves in free agency. I have no idea what he’ll return in a trade.

I didn’t put the percentage higher than 65 because a) he could get hurt, b) the Mets could stay on the fringes of contention and determine he’s worth more to them, even for a couple months, than whatever he’d bring back in a deal, and c) working out trades is difficult for front offices, and though the Mets will have plenty of motivation to deal Beltran if they’re not near contention, he does have a reasonable amount of money still coming his way this year that could limit flexibility, plus the no-trade clause.

The 30 percent number might be optimistic for Rodriguez. I’m sure they’ll try.

Well first of all, I’m going to go ahead and argue that if the egg is on the outside of the sandwich, it’s not a sandwich. Looking at you, croque madame. I know a lot of people will bill that as a sandwich, but that’s a messy meal you need to eat with a fork and a knife, and once you’re picking up utensils you’re basically spitting on the grave of John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich. There are plenty of delicious sandwiches that can be a bit unwieldy, sure, but to me a sandwich by definition has to at least make an effort toward portability.

As for an egg inside the sandwich, that I’m fine with. At least in concept. It just so happens that I’ve been down on eggs lately for some reason. It happens sometimes; I eat a bunch of egg sandwiches and then I get sick of eating eggs. But in the past, at times when I am enjoying eggs, I’ve certain enjoyed them atop burgers.

One time I had a fried chicken sandwich with an egg on top, which felt like a great way to demonstrate our species’ dominance over the chicken. Sadly, the sandwich was a bit disappointing, because it turns out chicken doesn’t really go that well with egg, and the runny egg yolk got the fried-chicken breading all soggy.