It is a perennial late-game conversation starter at Giants home games: “How do the gulls know to swarm to the ballpark during the ninth inning?”…

This season, the Western gulls, which nest on Alcatraz and other nearby shorelines, have been swooping into stands even earlier, gobbling up dropped fries, soiling fans and prompting officials to consider using falcons to chase them away.

– John Upton, N.Y. Times.

Do it. Do it.

Of course, the article goes on to detail how the falcons would be professionally controlled, curtailing my fantasy of a scenario wherein the Giants were then forced to bring in some larger bird of prey to control the out-of-control falcon population, and so on, turning every night at AT&T Park into an airborne avian royal rumble.

Also, it’s worth noting that I really hate seagulls. Like way more so than most urban and suburban scavenger pests. Is that worth noting?