“A bear destroyed my car looking for Chicken McNuggets,” he said. “I’m shocked.”

As he parked his car in front of The Palace Hotel on Broadway – after returning from a four-day excursion in the wilderness – he didn’t expect the same reaction from passersby.

“What happened,” said one onlooker.

– Carlos Silva Jr., Las Cruces Sun-News.

If you ever click-through to any link from this site ever, please make it this one. And note that the headline — “Bear ransacks car in hunt for fast-food treat” — is misleading. This is decidedly not a story about a bear destroying a car for Chicken McNuggets. Very few details are given about the bear’s actual attack on the car and McNuggets.

Nay, this is decidedly a newspaper story about a man whose car had been attacked by a bear parking that car in Silver City, New Mexico, to the wonderment of townsfolk. What the bear did to the car is secondary to how the people of Silver City reacted when they saw what the bear did to the car.

And we learn precious little about the Chicken McNuggets. The story makes it seem — however vaguely — like the bear attack happened on Leroy Griego’s four-day excursion to the Gila Wilderness, but that sure doesn’t sound like the type of place you could readily find Chicken McNuggets. In fact, according to Google Maps, the nearest McDonald’s to the Gila Wilderness is in Silver City proper, so… well, I have questions about this story.

Did Griego and his friends bring McNuggets from Silver City into the Gila Wilderness, not eat them, and leave them in the car for several days before some bear finally became overwhelmed with temptation and mauled their car? Or did the bear attack their car and eat their McNuggets early in their stay but not discourage them from enjoying the remainder of their vacation? Also, did the bear try one of the new sauces? Are they really just the same as the Chicken Selects sauces?

In related news, I ate Chicken McNuggets for the first time in several years on Saturday. Turns out they’re still pretty tasty. My local McDonald’s has a big parking lot in back, and one row of parking spots right next to where the drive-thru lane lets out. People pull in to those spots and sit in their cars and eat the food they’ve just gotten from the window. I suspect this might be the saddest place in the world, especially when you specifically asked for the new Sweet Chili sauce and got plain-old barbecue sauce instead.

Via Andrew.