Yesterday’s hot-dog condiment poll is getting bumped off the front page by this post about yesterday’s hot-dog condiment poll. Here’s what the results look like as of right now:

As you can see from the bold, italicized choices there, I put mustard, ketchup and relish on my hot dogs.

That’s right, ketchup. Come at me. 50% of readers surveyed will back me up.

You know what’s funny? I never even knew people judged others for eating ketchup on hot dogs until Gary Cohen said something about it to Keith Hernandez during the SNY broadcast from the right-field deck a couple weeks ago. I knew it happened in Chicago, but I figured that for an isolated regional peculiarity.

For all I know, all these years my friends and family have been silently looking down upon me as I spread ketchup on my hot dogs.

And you know what? If that’s the case, f@#$ ’em.

It’s mustard, ketchup and relish. The Lithuanian flag, right there atop my hot dog. Like I said in the post that inspired the post that inspired this post, the hot dog is a condiment conduit. Load that bastard up with what you like and don’t take any guff from anyone for it. Yeah, I might think gooping a hot dog with mayo seems pretty gross, but when you get right down to it so are hot dogs, and if you like your hot dog in the Chilean Completo style, it’s a free country, brother.

Also, while we’re on the topic of things people eat on hot dogs that they might be judged for: Doritos. It sounds crazy but it’s delicious. Next time you’re at a barbecue and there’s a bowl of Doritos out, grab a couple, crunch them up and spread ’em out over your hot dog. Trust me on this one. Cool Ranch if possible.