Terry Kimball was drunk Tuesday night and wanted Taco Bell. Understanding the dangers of driving while intoxicated, he set out on foot for the 137th Street location in Largo, Fla., a quarter mile from his home.

When he got there he found the dining room closed, so he walked up to the drive-thru window only to find the restaurant unwilling to serve pedestrians. Hungry and frustrated, he responded in the only sensible way: By calling 911.

“It’s not an emergency,” he said. “However, can you — can you put me through to dispatch? I’m at the Taco Bell, and I walked in, and I left my car on purpose, so I wouldn’t drink and drive. I walked up, they wouldn’t serve me. So, I’m at the Taco Bell at 137th and Walsingham and I just want some tacos. That’s it.”

Kimball spent the next 11 minutes pleading his case before police arrived on the scene to arrest him for misuse of the 911 system.

“Certainly calling 911 because you didn’t get your tacos is not something that would constitute an emergency,” said Largo police Lt. Mike Loux.

But it’s all relative, no?

People lucky enough to live within walking distance of Taco Bells should not be punished for attempting to act as responsible citizens. If I were named CMO of Taco Bell, I would work to rectify this injustice. Terry Kimball’s suffering will not be in vain.

Hat tip to Catsmeat.