ALBANY, GA – An unsatisfied customer fire-bombed the Taco Bell on North Slappey Boulevard in Albany.

The area under the drive thru was burned by a molotov cocktail….

The restaurant manager says an irate customer phoned them a few hours earlier to complain there wasn’t enough meat in his Chalupas.

– WALB.com.

What? No. Dude, just… no.

Lord knows we’ve all been upset some time or another with the taco construction at Taco Bell. It happens. Maybe your tacos were made by an inexperienced and/or disgruntled employee, or maybe you caught them right at the end of one bag of seasoned ground beef and they didn’t want to take up too much of your time to open another. And that’s frustrating. I’m with you on that one, bro.

But no matter how poor the quality of your Taco Bell order, DO NOT firebomb the Taco Bell.

First of all, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to get arrested and go to jail. And you know what sucks about jail? No Taco Bell.

Also: Just think of how the other inmates will treat you when they find out you’re there for trying to burn down a Taco Bell. That’s not going to win you any friends in the clink. Those dudes spend years doing push-ups and thinking about how great it would be to be on the outside double-fisting MexiMelts, and now here comes the new fish and what’d he do? He tried to destroy the dream!

Furthermore, have you even considered the way your actions might impact Taco Bell’s price structure? If people start regularly firebombing Taco Bells — and who knows? This could prompt an unfortunate trend — that’s going to jack up their insurance rates. And you think they’re being stingy with the meat now!

Sir, I also love seasoned ground beef and fire so I imagine we see eye to eye on a lot of things. But no matter how heartbreaking it is to bite into a subpar Chalupa, arson is never the answer.

If you burn down the Taco Bell, that Taco Bell won’t exist anymore (or at least for a while, until they rebuild it). And you wouldn’t even know to be disappointed with your Taco Bell order were it not for the lofty standards set by Taco Bell itself. Am I blowing your mind right now?

There are so many better ways to express your dissatisfaction. You could ask for the manager. Picket. Write a letter.

Or, if all that fails, you could just drive to the other Taco Bell in town. You know, the one over on East Oglethorpe between Captain D’s Seafood and the Western Sizzlin’ steakhouse. If you see the Hardee’s, you’ve gone too far.

Again.