Remember when Jay-Z said, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”? That was true. At that time, he had precisely 99 problems and none of them involved a female dog.

It’s an under-reported truth that all rap lyrics are meant to be interpreted literally. Seriously. The members of N.W.A. just wanted to encourage listeners to have sex with police officers. Go to Tone Loc’s house right now and you will still see the Spuds McKenzie-shaped hole in his door from the incident with his dog and the Funky Cold Medina.

Somehow, all this has gone unrecognized far too long in sports journalism. Luckily, Kevin Kernan is here to clear it all up:

In his song and video “No Hay Amigo’’ that was released in July, Reyes sings the following powerful words:

“There are no friends. A friend is a dollar in my pocket. As soon as you turn your back your friends want to stab you in the back. A real friend is a glass full of water in the desert to quench your thirst. … Where were you when I used to practice without any food to eat or when I used to spend a week with the same T-shirt? There are no friends. My friends are my mother and my father, the ones who struggled with me to make me who I am.’’

The Mets are no longer Reyes’ friends….

The Mets cannot quench Reyes’ thirst.

Telling.