With the ratings success of The Walking Dead, it seems inevitable that some other TV network will soon present its own spin on a zombie-based show. Here are some ideas for that. I happen to work at a TV network and I’ve tried to pitch some of the bigwigs around here on a few of these, but no dice. Apparently they don’t fit with SNY’s “brand.”

Working titles only:

The Flu: An airborne infection turns nearly everyone on the planet into mindless, vicious cannibals. Unlike many zombies, they have some instinct toward self-preservation and they can feed on other zombies, so they spread out rather than move in packs. That makes life tricky for Rod, a biologist working to determine why he is immune to infection, seeking fellow survivors, and searching for a cure.

Zombie Hunter: After a weapons collector and mixed-martial-arts expert loses the only woman he has ever loved to a horde of 28 Days Later-style fast, raging zombies, he becomes convinced he is the last living human left on earth. Luckily, he is Jason Statham, and vengeance against the zombie masses provides all the motivation he needs to go on living. Hardcore action with a philosophical bent. OPTIONAL: His friend Norm MacDonald also survives, and doesn’t help much with the zombie-killing but spends a whole lot of time talking about how great it is.

Croatoan: Hey, whatever happened at Roanoke Colony anyway? There are a variety of theories: Maybe the colonists integrated with the local tribes, or got lost at sea or starved to death. Or maybe they slowly fell victim to a New World virus that killed half their settlement only to see them rise again as lurching, brain-hungry zombies. The survivors bicker over how to handle the reanimated remains of their loved ones, dividing the settlement in an escalating saga of man vs. man vs. ex-man. They all die in the finale. Or maybe there’s a twist ending, and it turns out we’re all descended from zombies. Or it was only a snow globe.

True Brains: Thanks to new, mass-produced synthetic version of human flesh, a bunch of sexy, brooding zombies and the capricious but also very sexy humans upon whom they once feasted can finally live in harmony. OR CAN THEY?

Night of the Comet, the TV show: Did anyone see that movie Night of the Comet? It was sweet. This would be that, but a TV show.

OTHER IDEAS: Who Dat Zombie?; Everybody Loves Zombie Raymond.