Carlos Zambrano + Ozzie Guillen = Inevitable explosive awesomeness.

That alone would be worth the price of admission, but throw in the hype and hoopla around the Jose Reyes addition and the opening of the new stadium, the meddling art-dealer owner and his art installation of a home-run display, the notorious (and mostly hilarious) fecal-Tweeter of a left-fielder, the moody third baseman who’d rather play shortstop poorly, uniforms forging new territory in ugliness, and the fish tanks being installed behind home plate and you’ve got a recipe for a sports spectacle most thrilling.

Oh, and they’ve still got Josh Johnson and Mike Stanton, who both seem content to contain their explosive awesomeness to baseball fields.

It’s going to be something, even if it amounts to nothing.