You guys!

Johan Santana is doing stuff! Look at him. He’s pitching off a mound. He’s smiling. Johan Santana is pitching and smiling.

Look at that beard. You can mention Kelvim Escobar and Mark Prior and Chien-Ming Wang to me, but who among them has the type of singular focus it takes to maintain such elegantly groomed facial hair? Look at it! Its edges are so sharp you can shave your own face on it.

And which recipient of shoulder surgery has stood on a Major League mound gripping a baseball, staring down his manager, shouting, “I’m a man! I’m a man!”?

Santana.

Can we just ignore all the evidence to the contrary and dream on Johan Santana’s full recovery right now? Please?

Because how awesome would…