I’m not sure there’s a living creature I detest more than the seagull. And it sucks because when you’re an aspiring sandwich artisan growing up on Long Island, a picnic on the beach seems like a great idea for a date right up until you’re forced to reveal how freaked out you are by the scores of seagulls circling your blanket, sizing you up.

They just don’t look like they’re nearly as afraid of me as they should be given our difference in size, plus they eat garbage all day so I just assume they’re rife with all sorts of infectious disease. And they don’t seem nearly as dumb as every other bird. Man I hate seagulls.

Anyway, octopi are awesome and this one is fighting the good fight: