Author Archives: Ted Berg

We are all witnesses

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Brian Bassett posted something on TheJetsBlog.com the other day that really made me wish it weren’t a Nike ad. It was this:

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

On SNY’s Jets Postgame show after the Jets win on Saturday, Adam Schein mentioned that he voted for Charles Woodson for defensive player of the year. Tom Jackson referred to Woodson as such last night on ESPN.

I don’t think awards are that important and I recognize they don’t often go to the rightful recipient, plus it sounds like a lot of voters are advocating Woodson.

And hey, he’s a great player. I haven’t seen nearly as much of Woodson this year as I have of Revis, but since Woodson’s teammate Aaron Rodgers was my fantasy’s team’s quarterback, I watched a decent portion of most Green Bay games thanks to NFL Sunday Ticket. And yeah, Woodson was impressive. It’s hard to argue with nine interceptions and three touchdowns.

But what Revis did this season was special. There’s really no other way to describe it. Revis didn’t make as many highlight-reel plays as Woodson because he was too busy shutting receivers down. Everyone’s seen the numbers at this point; they’re stunning.

I could care less if Revis gets the hardware, though it frustrates me that anyone could fail to appreciate the type of season he’s having. Jets fans are lucky to have witnessed it, and even luckier that he’s somehow still only 24 and has plenty of time to win defensive player of the year awards in the future.

UPDATE, 2:26 p.m. shamik points out that it looks like the above image is not an actual Nike ad, only Bassett’s photoshop work on top of one of Nike’s LeBron James ads. Shows how much I pay attention to stuff.

Items of note

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Patrick Flood posts a Jason Bay image that I plan on stealing and using over and over and over again. But I won’t do it yet, so go check it out. Also, RSS his blog. It’s good.

The pot calls the kettle black.

Walkoff Walk offers a nice solution for one of the hiccups with UZR.

I don’t know how I feel about the idea of the Marlins locking up Josh Johnson longterm. As a Mets fan, obviously I don’t want him pitching in the same division for the foreseeable future. But as a baseball fan, I like the idea of the Marlins being more financially competitive with their new stadium opening up, if that’s what that implies. They already have Hanley Ramirez under contract for a while.

John Smoltz: Do it

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Do I realize that John Smoltz is an old, old man? Of course. Do I advocate the acquisition of hordes of 42-year-old pitchers with lengthy histories of arm trouble? Not at all.

But if the Mets are really interested in Smoltz, and the old-timer isn’t really looking for much more than a few million in base salary, laden with incentives, I say do it.

Smoltz stunk with the Red Sox last season — that much is irrefutable. He allowed eight home runs and and posted a miserable 56 ERA+ in his time in Beantown.

But once he got to St. Louis, Smoltz pitched something like the old John Smoltz. Maybe not quite the young John Smoltz of his Cy Young season, but certainly similar to the old John Smoltz of the John Smoltz post-bullpen renaissance from 2005-2007. Check it out:

In those three seasons, Smoltz allowed 8.5 hits per nine innings, 0.9 home runs per nine, 2.1 walks per nine, and struck out 7.8 batters per nine. In his seven starts with the Cardinals, Smoltz allowed 8.5 hits per nine, 0.7 home runs per nine, 2.1 walks per nine, and struck out 9.5 batters per nine.

Seven starts is a small sample, mind you, and it’s not fair to entirely dismiss Smoltz’s totals from Boston. Certainly, pitching in the American League East is tougher than anything he’d be asked to do with the Mets, plus he was coming off shoulder surgery so it’s reasonable to wonder if he was still building up his strength, but Smoltz took his worst shellings in his last four starts with the Sox, so it’s not as if he was quietly getting stronger and they just gave up on him too soon.

Plus it’d be silly to mention all Smoltz’s rate stats with the Cardinals and not note that his ERA+ from 2005-2007 was a sterling 135 and was a meager 96 with St. Louis in 2009. Since the rate stats were so similar, as mentioned, and the strikeout rate actually improved, I’d say that’s most likely do to a small sample and a run of bad luck, but I’ll allow the possibility that Smoltz was getting hit a lot harder. Still, according to baseball-reference he only allowed a 17-percent line-drive rate in those starts, which is actually lower than his season rates in the 2005-2007 span.

In other words, I say do it. I don’t know that Smoltz will continue to pitch like he did with the Cardinals, or that he’ll stay healthy, but if he’s willing to be had for so little money, why not? The upside is a guy who could be a very good starter, plus he comes with the built-in hedge of being willing to pitch out of the bullpen if he somehow is healthy but can’t cut it in the rotation.

For a long time, I was convinced the Mets just needed innings, and so should go out and pick up innings-eaters like Jon Garland. But the more I think about it, I realize that what happened last year forced the Mets to acquire a slew of guys who can eat innings in unspectacular fashion. The Mets can probably get Jon Garland innings out of Nelson Figueroa. They can’t get John Smoltz innings out of Jon Garland.

I think if the Mets want to even hope to contend in 2010, they need to take small risks on upside plays like Smoltz and Ben Sheets and hope they pay off. Frankly, they’re already putting a lot of stock in Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran and Johan Santana returning healthy, and David Wright returning to form, and Jeff Francoeur’s Citi Field success not being a small sample size fluke. Simply put, they’re going to be relying on a whole lot of things falling their way.

But that’s what happens to the teams that win championships — it’s what needs to happen. Sometimes, everything just falls your way, and then you win. And when you’re operating with a limited budget, one of the best ways to make it actually come to fruition is to take bets on guys with big upside.

As I write this, I know there’s a large fraction of Mets fans who’ll say, “Smoltz!? F@#$ Smoltz! That guy’s a Brave, and I couldn’t bear to see him in a Mets uniform.” And I realize the way the Tom Glavine thing ended in Queens doesn’t bode well for his longtime teammate. But guys like Smoltz can help the Mets win, and I promise if he does, you’ll be more than happy to forgive his tenure in Atlanta.

Sports!

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I fell asleep on my La-Z-Boy around 7:30 p.m. yesterday after a day spent moping around the house feeling awful. At some point I managed to take my contacts out and stumble into bed, I guess, and I woke up at 7:30 a.m.

I ate breakfast and showered, and sat down on the couch, fully rested and refreshed. And then I remembered:

Sports!

The Georgetown Hoyas, the mighty, frustrating, talented Hoyas, take on the stupid, evil UConn Huskies today at noon, a matchup between two of the best teams in what is certainly college basketball’s best conference, no matter how little coverage it receives on ESPN.

And that’s just the undercard. At 4:30 today, for the first time in three years, one of the professional sports teams I root for will be playing in the postseason. So exciting. I have nothing interesting to say about it, other than that I’m geared up.

I don’t know if it’s the 12 hours of sleep, or whatever was ailing me yesterday passing, or it just finally sinking in that the New York Jets are back in the playoffs, but I am elated. I have no idea what will happen in either game today, but right now, with nothing settled and everything possible, life is good.

The only problem is I want the damn games to start already. And my wings to get here.

Delicious wings and sports.

The phone is ringing, Mark Sanchez. It’s destiny calling again. Pick it up.

Items of note

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I’m sick today and home from work, which means I’m watching the Price is Right, because that’s what you do when you’re home sick, even now in the age of TiVo when you don’t have to. Anyway, here are some items of note:

John Sickels provides his list of Top 20 Mets prospects. Sickels’ list seems as good as any I’ve seen, and I think he’s got a pretty good perspective about the Mets’ system in general. But — and forgive me if this sounds like homerism — I don’t think anybody touches Toby Hyde when it comes to knowledge of the Mets’ minors, so I’m eagerly awaiting his Top 41 for this year.

I will make no comment about this Gilbert Arenas affair other than to say that I really hope this leads to an Al Sharpton Twitter account.

UPDATE, 12:28 p.m.: Al Sharpton has a Twitter account. Obviously.

Joe Namath is appropriately surprised that everyone cares so much that Rex Ryan called his team the favorite to win the Super Bowl.

Let he who doesn’t have a soft spot in his heart for the Expos step forward. The pinwheel hat will always be one of my all-time favorites.

From the Wikipedia: Curse of the Pharaohs

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So disappointing.

From the Wikipedia: Curse of the Pharaohs.

I like a good spooky story even if I think it’s probably hokum, and for whatever reason — some sixth grade history teacher, Scooby Doo, who knows — I really believed that just about everyone who ever opened a mummy’s tomb was dead within a few weeks.

Not the case, it turns out. The Curse of the Pharaohs refers to the legend that any person who disturbs an Ancient Egyptian tomb will be forever hexed by the mummy within.

Stories of the curse really took hold, it seems, when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle — the Sherlock Holmes dude — started perpetuating them and trying to explain them around the time a team of 58 explorers opened the tomb of King Tutankhamun in 1922.

The only problem is that precisely one of those 58 people suffered an even mildly mysterious death anytime soon after the opening — a George Herbert, the fifth Earl of Carnarvon, who died from an infected mosquito bite he cut open while shaving.

Another, George Jay Gould — of the New York Goulds, the railroad people — contracted a fever and died of pneumonia within a year.

But, you know, it was 1922, and people still randomly just got fevers and died of pneumonia back then. All told, only eight of the 58 people present at the opening of the tomb were dead within a dozen years, and I’m willing to guess that if you took any random cross section of 58 adults in 1922, it’d be a pretty safe bet that eight would be dead in twelve years. People still got Typhoid and Scarlet Fever and stuff in 1922.

The Wikipedia — clearly grasping at straws — alternately claims that Howard Carter, the archaeologist in who led the team, either did or didn’t fall victim to the curse when he DIED OF CANCER 16 YEARS LATER. I’m gonna go with “not the curse” on that one. In fact, I’d say it’d be a lot more mysterious if Howard Carter, born in 1874, hadn’t died by now.

Both the Curse of the Pharaohs and its accompanying Wikipedia page are total crap. They are, as Egyptologist Donald Redford once said, “unadulterated clap trap.”

In fact, that phrase coupled with the revelation that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had a totally kickass mustache are the only cool things to come out of this Wikipedia endeavor.

I’m certainly open to the mysterious and unexplainable, but the Curse of the Pharaohs is not that. Come back when you’re bovine excision, Curse of the Pharaohs.

Interview: Elizabeth Wrigley-Field

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Continuing a very Second City-themed day of TedQuarters content, I present the type of hard-hitting exclusive interview readers should probably not come to expect of this site.

I was recently included on an e-mail chain that also included someone with the curious name “Elizabeth Wrigley-Field.” I contacted Ms. Wrigley-Field and found she was not only willing to discuss her surname, but quite happy to, and so we did. And this is that:

TedQuarters: Did your parents realize how awesome it was that they were named Wrigley and Field when they met, and consider that their offspring might be named Wrigley-Field? I mean, am I right in assuming that’s how you came to be named Elizabeth Wrigley-Field?

Elizabeth Wrigley-Field: As it happens, my parents — who were also a bit slow on the uptake and didn’t notice the combination of their names until well into their courtship when a friend pointed it out — gave my prenatal self absolutely no credit for a future sense of humor.

They thought I’d be teased too much, and named me Elizabeth Field. I started going by Wrigley-Field when I was seven — partly for the joke, and partly because even at that age, it seemed strange to me that you get your dad’s name but not your mom’s.

We didn’t get around to legally changing it until I was in college, but I’ve been Elizabeth Wrigley-Field in how I introduce myself for the vast majority of my life by now.

TQ: Are you a Cubs fan? And if so, would you be one if your last name weren’t Wrigley-Field?

EWF: Well, I’m certainly a bigger fan of the Cubs than I am of any other team. Which is to say, I don’t follow them, but I root for them. How could I not?

Almost everyone finds their team through an accident of birth. Usually it’s just where they live; mine is just a little more obvious.

Really, though, I think of myself more as a fan of the stadium.

TQ: Have you been to the stadium?

EWF: No… which is so sad. Especially because my boyfriend lives in Chicago (and I’m in Madison, which is pretty close), so I’m there ALL THE TIME. I have no excuse.

When I was young I wrote to them. I guess I was kind of hoping for free tickets or something — at least my name on the scoreboard! But they were just going to interview me for their fan magazine (which a very nice guy at the Baseball Hall of Fame had arranged), and I never really got it together to get out there.

Then I started reading all about this kid, Wrigley Alexander Fields, who got to throw out the first pitch and everything. And at first I was like, “Who is this pipsqueak? His name isn’t even authentic! The stadium is not WRIGLEY FIELDS!” But then I reflected on how he has to go through life with the first name Wrigley, and I decided he deserves all the joy he can find.

TQ: Wait, I’m sorry. So you’ve really never been to Wrigley Field, even though your last name is Wrigley-Field and you’re only a couple hours away? What’re you waiting for? I mean, I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself, but for chrissakes, your last name is Wrigley-Field! I mean, frankly I think the place is a wee bit overrated, just because the crowd has been mostly shirtless and brotastic the times I’ve been there, but still.

EWF: I know… I know. I think it’s one of those things where it’s so built up in my mind that the experience can’t possibly live up to the hype. Plus, I’m lazy.

I did go to my first ever Cubs game at Shea Stadium some years back. (Perpetual Post editor Howard Megdal took me, and was kind enough to be happy for me that, miraculously, the Cubs pulled it together.) I ran around the stadium finding everyone I could wearing Cubs paraphernalia and introduced myself. I showed them my school ID so they knew I wasn’t making it up. I had a great time.

TQ: I don’t think it would ever happen, but if the Cubs took on a corporate sponsor, would you consider changing your name legally again? Like would you become Elizabeth Pepsi presents Wrigley-Field?

EWF: No, and I will be VERY MAD should that day come.

TQ: Moving on. I understand I’m not the first baseball writer to interview you about your name. How did you come into contact with Murray Chass?

EWF: I think it was after I wrote a letter to the New York Times. This was back before the 2000 election and the Times had run a profile piece on George W. Bush that mentioned that when he started dating Laura, he brought over not only his own, but all his friends’ laundry for her to do. I wrote them a letter about how lame this was, mostly so I could use the title “George W. Bush’s Dirty Laundry.” But they ditched the title and ran the letter.

Murray Chass saw that in his paper and got in touch with me. Then because of his story, Seth Swirsky heard of me and got in touch with me for one of his Baseball Letters books (I believe, in fact, that my letter is in the same book as W.’s… which is just weird). This was all while I was still in high school, and I had so much fun with it.

Mike Ditka performs my favorite gag

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You might have seen this on Deadspin already, but whatever. Before I go on I should warn you that the video linked below contains language that is completely unsafe for work. So wear headphones.

It also contains one of my favorite gags of all-time, and, to be honest, one that’s unfortunately ruined by the title of the YouTube video — “Ditka does interview in his underwear.”

To be fair, I probably wouldn’t have stayed through to the big reveal at 3:07 if I hadn’t seen that title, but clearly, the element of surprise is what makes the no-pants joke works best. Luckily, Ditka’s behavior is outlandish enough in this clip that you almost forget the title by the end, so it’s still funny that he turns out to not be wearing any pants.

I mean the whole thing is, we see people sitting at desks wearing shirts and ties or the tops of fancy ladyclothes all the time, and we never ever see what they’re wearing underneath. And pants are terrible constricting. So it’s only natural to assume they’re pantsless down there. Good for Ditka for getting it. Why wear pants if you don’t absolutely have to?

I had a sports/comedy TV show in college of which, thankfully for my career, no evidence exists online. But I’m pretty sure that nearly every time we stepped away from the desk for one reason or another, we did the no-pants joke. Too easy, probably, but made me giggle every time.

Then, I got an internship at a local network news affiliate to find out that the sportcaster really did give his nightly reports with no pants on! It was amazing. I mean, granted, he wasn’t in his underwear, but a suit top with lacrosse shorts was nearly as silly.

Anyway, here’s Ditka inadvertently performing my favorite gag:

Items of note

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Apparently Bud Selig is hoping for a Global World Series between U.S. and Japan after the regular World Series. Not sure exactly how that would play out — especially considering pitchers and innings — but it’s a cool idea, and I believe something Bobby Valentine’s been advocating for a while.

Shaun Ellis does not care for SNY’s Jets programming.

Mark Himmelstein does some fascinating research about Kirk Nieuwenhuis and Minor League groundball/flyball data.

Andre Dawson is Cooperstown-bound. I wish Tim Raines got more support, but I won’t begrudge the Hawk his ticket. The amount of Twitter anger over the whole affair was a bit ridiculous, I think.