Good call from former roommate Will. Cole Hamels and Gary from Team America:
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Category Archives: Culture Jammin’
Pouring one out
Sad news about Adam Yauch, aka MCA. In high school I thought the Beastie Boys were so cool that I actually drank brass monkeys a few times even though they’re completely disgusting.
In case you somehow missed it
I rarely go in for writer-on-writer gossip, but Deadspin’s investigation of now-departed ESPN.com freelancer Sarah Phillips’ backstory is easily the most fascinating thing I’ve read on the Internet in months, at least in terms of its implications for the media and the people we deem authorities around these parts. It’s long, but worth reading in its entirety.
The messed-up thing? Now everyone knows who Sarah Phillips is, which means she’ll probably get hired somewhere else soon.
Twitter Q&A, part 2
Might I suggest asking Twitter for questions?
I’m probably not be the best person to ask about this, since my approach to writer’s block is about the same as my typical approach to physical pain, emotional distress and most other problems, and I’m not sure it’s always the most productive one: Power through.
With writing, and really any creative pursuit I’ve endeavored, it’s especially frustrating because I find it nearly impossible to know for sure which things will hit and which will miss. Presumably some of that’s on me, and obviously there’s a lot of randomness at play. But sometimes I’ll feel like I have almost nothing to say and struggle through a post, then people will seem to really enjoy it. And other times I’ll feel like everything’s really flowing and almost no one responds in any way. Totally emo. Are you there world? It’s me, Ted!
Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Point is, if you’re reading today and video stuff isn’t your thing, thanks for sticking out the last few days.
Man, I wish I were better qualified to talk about that. Truth is I don’t know exactly how rare a choice it is, nor all of what the rehab entailed, nor even that it was the best choice — who knows if Gee would be a better pitcher today if he went the surgical route? This Daily News article from last year suggests he still endures pain in the shoulder.
I can say with some confidence, though, that the human body is an amazing and mysterious thing. My wife and I took in Knuckleball! this weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival (which answers @dpecs‘ question), and the movie detailed R.A. Dickey’s lack of an ulnar collateral ligament and the way it cost him his first-round signing bonus out of college. Dickey explained how doctors said he shouldn’t be able to turn a doorknob without pain even though he had been throwing fastballs in the 90s.
I know it’s kind of an old story by now, but really… think about that! The guy threw fastballs in the 90s without one of the main things that’s supposed to be holding his elbow together. At 37, the guy still throws pitches in the mid-80s, and he still doesn’t have that thing. And for all we know there are five other Major Leaguers who don’t have UCLs either who just never posed for the wrong picture at the wrong time.
When I was diagnosed with M.S. in 2008, my doctor showed me MRI images that showed 10 small lesions on my brain, then said I had nothing to worry about because only about 50-percent of brain lesions affected people in any way. That freaked the hell out of me, because I’m good enough at math to know that 50 percent of 10 is five, and I didn’t want five lesions operating on my brain. So after a couple of weeks of fretting, I brought it up to the doctor. He explained that it ultimately didn’t matter at all — the lesions were there and likely would be forever, but even if some of them did have some small impact, the brain and body ultimately create new pathways and means of compensation, and neither I nor anyone else would ever be able to notice any difference.
You ever see those local news features about the people who lose their arm functions and learn how to do everything with their feet? We’re all kind of like that in various less-obvious ways. This sounds depressing but it’s actually the opposite: The longer you live the more crap you need to deal with, and you either figure out ways to deal with it or it deals with you.
I do hope that, yes. Yo whatup Paula Deen? How great is butter? You want to come make a sandwich with me? Ladies’ choice.
Traction Park’s looping waterslide remembered
Via @njbuzz19 comes this thorough investigation of Action Park’s legendary but infrequently operative looping waterslide and the real reasons it closed.
Longtime TedQuarters readers will remember I tackled Action Park in a From the Wikipedia post a few years ago, in which I wrote:
The biggest and best symbol of all that was awesome and ridiculous about Action Park was the looping water slide. A water slide with a loop-de-loop. How would that even work? You’re not harnessed into anything, like you are on a roller coaster. Doesn’t seem to make any sense, right? But it made perfect sense at Action Park.
The Wikipedia claims it was actually operated on occasion, but I never saw it open. And anytime you asked anyone about why it was closed, you always heard the same thing:
“Some fat guy got stuck in there and drowned.”
It turns out that was probably an urban myth, as were the stories that crash-test dummies sent down the tube to test it out came back dismembered. But who really thought a looping water slide was a good idea?
According to a former employee quoted in the io9 post, it was “some Swiss guy.”
Stupidity captured at 2500 frames per second
This, via Rob, is pretty much the best thing ever. Call me when stuff blowing up in super slow-motion stops being awesome:
Rock stars name their favorite baseball movies
Taste the cautious optimism
Doubters to the left: The Arrested Development reunion took another step toward reality on Tuesday when creator Mitch Hurwitz and several members of the cast appeared onstage together at a Netflix-sponsored event in Las Vegas. Speaking on the floor of the National Association of Broadcasters convention, Netflix chief Ted Sarandos confirmed that all ten episodes of Arrested’s long-awaited fourth season will premiere together on a single day sometime next year. Hurwitz also confirmed that production is set to begin this summer, but he also dropped a new nugget of information about what form the Arrested revival will take….
Hurwitz and the cast made no mention onstage of the rumored Arrested Development movie that’s been expected to follow the TV revival. He did, however, say he’d very much be open to a season five or six on Netflix. “We would love this to be the first first of many visits,” Hurwitz said. He also confirmed that Showtime, currently run by former Arrested exec producer David Nevins, had been in serious talks to acquire the show, but that ultimately Netflix offered a more interesting business model, as well as a base of already-loyal Arrested viewers.
Three things I really hope:
1) This actually happens.
2) It lives up to the show’s original run, which will be almost impossible since the show’s original run was just about perfect.
3) Showtime presented Hurwitz and his crew with a well-conceived and properly researched business model, then Netflix came in and won them over with a magic trick and a human model.
Supreme Court Justice breaks from mind-numbing legalese to take misguided cheap shot at Mets
Truth be told, the answer to the general question “What does ‘not an’ mean?” is “It depends”: The meaning of the phrase turns on its context. . . . “Not an” sometimes means “not any,” in the way Novo claims. If your spouse tells you he is late because he “did not take a cab,” you will infer that he took no cab at all (but took the bus instead). If your child admits that she “did not read a book all summer,” you will surmise that she did not read any book (but went to the movies a lot). And if a sports-fan friend bemoans that “the New York Mets do not have a chance of winning the World Series,” you will gather that the team has no chance whatsoever (because they have no hitting). But now stop a moment. Suppose your spouse tells you that he got lost because he “did not make a turn.” You would understand that he failed to make a particular turn, not that he drove from the outset in a straight line. Suppose your child explains her mediocre grade on a college exam by saying that she “did not read an assigned text.” You would infer that she failed to read a specific book, not that she read nothing at all on the syllabus. And suppose a lawyer friend laments that in her last trial, she “did not prove an element of the offense.” You would grasp that she is speaking not of all the elements, but of a particular one. The examples could go on and on, but the point is simple enough: When it comes to the meaning of “not an,” context matters.
– Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, Caraco Pharm. Labs. Ltd. v. Novo Nordisk.
OK, first of all this is like the dumbest f@#$ing thing I have ever read. And I get that half of you are lawyers and there’s probably some legal reason why the distinctions in possible implied meanings of “not an” needs to be detailed in such thorough fashion, but c’mon. This case really made it to the Supreme Court without anyone hashing that out? There’s no legal precedent she can cite that covers how sometimes “not an” means not any and sometimes it means not one specific thing? This is what Supreme Court Justices do?
Second, after she gives two perfectly apt examples of what she’s talking about, she throws in a totally unnecessary joke about the Mets. And I’m all for lightening the mood at Supreme Court proceedings, but, again: c’mon. Stale, and too easy. Jokes about the Mets for people who can’t make lawyer jokes are like lawyer jokes for everyone else.
Moreover, Kagan’s a Mets fan, so you’d hope she’d have a little better sense of what she was talking about. DOES THE SUPREME COURT NOT CARE ABOUT ACCURACY ANYMORE? Hitting is the one thing the Mets do have!
If she said “the team has no chance whatsoever (because they [sic] have first basemen at four positions, shaky starting pitching and play in a tough division),” then she’d get a pass, a frustrated but reasonable fan airing her grievances wherever she finds a platform. But no. Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan thinks the Mets can’t hit even though the Mets can hit. And I’m just going to go ahead and assume she retires to her quarters to call WFAN to demand the Mets trade David Wright.
Let’s hope The People vs. Carlos Beltran never goes to the highest federal court because I suspect Kagan’s going to rule on the wrong side of that one.
Via Bill.
A glimmer of hope
From Ryan via Ezra Klein comes and IBIS World report of the 10 fastest-growing industries in the United States. Some make sense, some are kind of silly, others are kind of depressing, one of them both speaks well and bodes well for all of us:
McIlhenny, you may know, is the Major Industry Player responsible for Tabasco products. Reckitt Benckiser, it turns out, is responsible for a bunch of household cleaning products, French’s mustard and — relevant here — Frank’s Red Hot.
The report suggests the hot sauce industry “has heated up” due to:
demographic consumption trends, immigration and international demand from Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan. As Americans’ palates have become more diverse, hot sauce has earned tenure on the dinner table. Demand from supermarkets and grocery stores has reflected the change in consumer taste, and food retailers are dedicating more shelf space to ethnic cuisine…. Hot sauce production isn’t expected to burn out any time soon.
Good case for serial commas in that excerpt. The way it is, it sounds like the increase in hot sauce consumption is in part due to a bunch of Canadian, British and Japanese people moving here and enjoying tons of hot sauce. And hey, maybe that happens. Who could blame them really?
I, for one, would welcome an economy based on hot sauce and self-tanner. Everything and everybody would have a delightful orange hue. And our stomachs will be strong inside and out, from all the spicy food and pilates. Maybe the future doesn’t suck so hard after all.
For what it’s worth, I’m currently keeping four hot sauces at TedQuarters: Frank’s, sriracha, Cholula, and the one I made myself. Also, I found it way easier to mention my love of Cholula on this site before they became an SNY sponsor, but it really is good.
Tedquarters 