Oh my

Now look, please don’t take this as a defense of Roger McDowell. I figure there’s at least some gray area involved and I seriously doubt the Giants fans were completely innocent in the situation, but there’s no place for homophobic slurs at a ballpark or anywhere.

But this video is, well… I don’t even know. It might as well have been produced by The Onion. This man should not have subjected these children to all these lewd acts, which we will now reenact in front of the very same children. It’s going to take a neat trick to convince me that this isn’t more scarring for those little girls than anything McDowell might have said.

I mean, seriously?

“The art of fiction is dead. Reality has strangled invention.”

Twitter Q&A-ish thing, part 2

Here’s a fun fact (that @MLBoorstein already knows I think, but for anyone else who might care about my reading habits): I don’t really read much non-fiction. I like it fine; learning is great and everything. But I do most of my reading immediately before bed, and for some reason when I read non-fiction I don’t sleep well. What’s that about? I guess fiction helps me transition into sleep by distracting me from reality, escapism or whatever. Something like that.

Anyway, I’ve read a lot of vaguely disappointing novels lately. But I enjoyed Joshua Ferris’ The Unnamed and Colum McCann’s Let the Great World Spin.

My opinion on donuts is that they’re amazing. Sad story: When I was leaving Miami, on my way to the airport around 6 a.m., I stopped in a Starbucks to get coffee and a donut. And the donut sucked. It’s hard to put my finger on why exactly, but the cake part was too sweet and the glaze was too thick and the whole thing got me feeling sick, to the point where I actually had to stop eating the donut — something I’m not certain I’ve ever done before. Then, about a mile further down the road, I passed a brightly lit standalone Krispy Kreme with the hot doughnuts light flashing. I had a plane to catch so I couldn’t stop, plus I wasn’t in the mood for doughnuts after that terrible donut. But man, what misfortune.

Krispy Kreme doughnuts are incredible, but if we’re using the broadest possible definition of the pastry I’d say my favorites are the beignets from Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. As for New York City, I really like the Donut Pub (together at last!) on 14th and 7th, and I’ve still yet to try the famous Doughnut Plant on the Lower East Side that everyone raves about. Hard to get down there in the morning hours.

Well if it’s a sandwich it’s Ricobene’s breaded steak, no doubt. But truthfully — and I think I may have answered a similar question before — if I had to choose a last meal it’d probably be my mom’s ravioli with meat sauce. It’s really, really good.

Dr. Seuss, member of Team Ted

Dr. Seuss’s real name was Theodor Geisel. In 1925, as a Dartmouth College undergrad, Geisel — then 21 years old — and nine friends were caught, in his room, drinking gin. The problem? Prohibition. As part of his punishment, Geisel was not allowed to continue at the Lantern, Dartmouth’s humor magazine. A talented editorial cartoonist, Geisel did what many before him have done: donned a moniker, and participated under a pseudonym. In his case, under Geisel drew under the names L. Pasteur, L. Burbank, D. G. Rossetti, and one other — his middle name, Seuss. It obviously stuck — later with a made-up honorific.

Dan Lewis, Now I Know newsletter.

Who knew?

I mean, I knew Dr. Seuss’ first name was Theodor, but who knew he became Dr. Seuss because of prohibition? I think he just ousted The Great Gatsby as the best literary byproduct of the 18th amendment.

In case you missed the earlier reference

When I wrote “EVACUATE ALL THE SCHOOLCHILDREN,” earlier in reference to the Mets’ rumored pending fire sale, I was alluding to this bit. I’m not sure how funny it’ll be if you never watched Arrested Development, but then if you never watched Arrested Development you should drop whatever you’re doing (reading this, I suppose) and get about watching the entire series, perhaps multiple times, because it just might be the pinnacle of human achievement.

Actually, this might still be pretty funny even out of context: