I’ve got Christmas shopping and an upcoming vacation on the mind, and I’m struggling a bit to come up with anything to write about. But I’m vain enough to reprint things I’ve already published, and I figured revisiting the year via a selection of my own Tweets would make for a decent year-in-review post. Problem is, I can’t find a way to see any Twitter before May 26. So indulge me in a partial year in Tweets:
May 26: Oh thank god. I was concerned Fernando Nieve wouldn’t get in this game. #youhavetwomopupguysforjustthissituation
June 1: I am embarrassed and terrified by how few of NY Mag’s 101 Best Sandwiches in NY I’ve had. Looks like I’ve got a long night ahead.
June 3: ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE JIM JOYCE!
June 4: An A-ball team is now calling batting practice “hitting rehearsal” to avoid calling it “BP.” That’ll teach ’em.
June 7: Prediction: Some guys drafted tonight will turn out good and others will suck.
June 11: You can scold Lady Gaga for wearing a bikini bottom to the Mets game, but you’re just jealous she can get away with never wearing pants.
June 15: Painter Thomas Kinkade was arrested for DUI Friday on an idyllic cobblestone road by the charming old lighthouse at dusk.
June 18: Campbell’s is recalling 15 million pounds of SpaghettiO’s. In a related story, there are 15 million pounds of SpaghettiO’s.
June 24: Obviously Johan Santana sucks now because he had extramarital sex with a woman on a golf course eight months ago.
June 30: Me, after filming five intros: “Does being introduced as ‘Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner’ ever get old?” Kiner: “How could that ever get old?”
July 4: Jeff Francoeur, who has a .718 OPS, said all the Mets OFs deserve playing time upon Beltran’s return since none is “flat-out sucking.”
July 8: Funniest outcome: LeBron James announces he’s signing with Olympiacos then suffers career-threatening finger injury while flipping everyone off.
July 16: Source: The Yanks would like to have Joakim Soria, distinguising them from all those teams that would not like to have Joakim Soria.
July 20: When managing an MLB roster, the most important thing to know is never, ever risk losing Fernando Nieve on waivers. Too risky!
July 23: Jason Bay has struggled all season, presumably because of something Carlos Beltran did.
July 29: Source: Adam Dunn is lazy, but won’t DH because he hates baseball so much he wants to torment it with terrible defense.
Aug. 5: Are we discounting the possibility that Brett Favre’s photos were actually aimed for his wife and intercepted?
Aug. 6: Why do crappy baseball teams lack the confidence that the good ones have? The world may never know.
Aug. 9: According to Alex Cora, if a team is committed to winning now, it should hang on to Alex Cora.
Aug. 12: Heath Bell leads the National League in saves, but he’s dead last in old men beaten up.
Aug. 16: Jerseyites always get all dodgy when you ask them about Taylor Ham, a local meat product. Be honest, Jersey: Is it people?
Aug. 21: I saw Wyclef Jean in concert once. It was awful. I left thinking, “I hope that man is never a head of state.” #votepras
Aug. 25: Look I know Jeff Francoeur hasn’t had a hit in two months, but please, give him credit: He’s had some really long at-bats.
Aug. 31: Will the media hordes follow Jeff Francoeur and his pursuit of 100 home runs to Texas?
Sept. 1: Don’t forget: Tommy Hanson and his longtime family friends will deny it, but he’s totally cousins with the band Hanson.
Sept. 5: Mets steaming as clubhouse cancer Mike Pelfrey draws ire for fantasy football grandstanding. “Thinks he’s John Madden,” grumbles one.
Sept. 5: My biggest regret is that I lived nearly 30 years without knowing about the sandwich I just ate. Holy hell. Everything is different now.
Sept. 10: Carlos Beltran should not have torn Johan Santana’s left anterior shoulder capsule.
Sept. 13: Paraphrasing Daily News: Jets should not have objectified this extremely sexy bombshell reporter. WITH SEXY PHOTOS!
Sept. 15: Pretty sure every single person at Citi Field is on the line at Shake Shack.
Sept. 20: I’d like to score a role as the drunk in an action movie who sees something crazy then looks at his drink like, “whoa, that’s good stuff.”
Sept. 27: Jets overcome injuries, penalties, widespread charges of moral turpitude to beat Dolphins, 31-23.
Oct. 3: Not sure why people are so fired up about Dickey pitching here. Doesn’t crack the top 1000 dumbest Mets moves this season.
Oct. 6: I think maybe Cee Lo Green is going to unify the planet in utopian harmony the way we thought Wyld Stallyns would.
Oct. 9: Knowing that Mariano Rivera has been to Taco Bell is like knowing that the Beatles met Muhammad Ali. Historic confluence of awesome.
Oct. 13: An errant dart just struck an unopened soda can and sent a stream of ginger ale shooting across the office. It was awesome.
Oct. 16: Jeff Francoeur’s rocking a historically great 3:1 FA:PT in the ALCS. That’s feature articles:pitches taken.
Oct. 18: Fox vs. Cablevision is like the Yankees-Phillies World Series of corporate disputes.
Oct. 19: Listening to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver guarantees you’ll appreciate the broadcast you hear next. It’s like taking the donut off the bat.
Oct. 28: ALERT: Man in suit proceeding south on 5th ave. on a Segway.
Nov. 1: Will Tim Lincecum’s performance tonight help sway the vote on Prop 19?
Nov. 8: Even though the Giants debunked Moneyball, the Mets have hired Paul DePodesta.
Nov. 16: Charlie Samuels fired today? Dammit, I had Nov. 16 in the pool. Wait – noooooooo!
Nov. 17: It’s laughable that Bud Selig still thinks Abner Doubleday invented baseball. Everyone knows it was Wally Backman.
Nov. 21: Mets hire manager at 3 a.m. Pakistan Standard Time.
Nov. 22: It’s bizarre to me that many Mets fans who argued that Wally Backman has changed seem certain that Terry Collins cannot.
Nov. 28: What kind of party is it, exactly, that could prompt a man to defile the mashed potatoes?
Nov. 29: Apparently a WEEI caller today suggested that the Red Sox pay Derek Jeter $20 mil and bench him behind Marco Scutaro.
Dec. 3: In Colonial Williamsburg, everyone wore tight, tapered knickers and stayed ironically detached from the whole revolution thing.
Dec.6: OK Jets fans, this is awful. But we need to remember one thing: Tom Brady wears man-UGGs.
Dec. 7: Heard this: A mystery team has made a bid for an unspecified player. Terms not disclosed.
Dec. 9: To me, what the Mets are doing this offseason *is* exciting. Extremely so. I could hardly care less what makes headlines.
Dec. 13: Sandy Alderson is so much cooler than Mike Francesa.
Dec. 14: From the Internet today you’d get the impression that the Phillies won’t lose a single game in 2011. C’mon. They’ll lose at least 5.
Dec. 15: Most amazing thing about tonight’s Knicks game: I’ve now watched three straight Knicks games.
The latter, incidentally, is not a Christmas movie. Steve Martin’s character needs to make it home in time for Thanksgiving.
Today is the last day to purchase Four Loko legally in New York, so stock up if you’re into mixing dangerous amounts of caffeine with lots of booze and you’re too lazy to mix Red Bull and vodka.
Tedquarters 