Mike Pelfrey, Mets closer?

This almost certainly will not happen, but it was a possibility within the past week, when some team officials suggested converting Pelfrey to that role next season. The discussions went far enough that Pelfrey was included in them.

“Would you be willing to be the closer next year?” Terry Collins asked the pitcher, according to someone who was briefed on, but did not witness or participate in, the conversation.

– Andy Martino, N.Y. Daily News.

Interesting. Of course, since we’re getting the news at least third-hand, there’s some chance this has been telephoned to death and Collins actually asked Pelfrey, “Is it thrilling to see the toaster in here?”

But assuming the conversation actually went down the way the article says it did, it’s a thought worth considering. Many Mets fans won’t believe this, but Pelfrey could very well make for a solid closer. Not only is that role overrated, but starters’ stats tend to improve dramatically when they move to bullpen roles. A pitcher like Pelfrey with a limited arsenal could likely dial up his fastball a notch and rely less on his shaky secondary pitches if he were used in shorter stints.

Except — and as Martino suggests later in the article — Pelfrey’s biggest value to the Mets lies in his durability, and his ability to throw 200 league-average innings every season probably helps the Mets’ bullpen as much as his presence would.

And of course, the first time closer-Pelf allowed a bloop single and a game-tying home run, armchair psychologists everywhere would rush to diagnose his obvious lack of the much-lauded closer mentality.

I covered this a few weeks ago: Unless Sandy Alderson suddenly and miraculously finds a whole host of healthy dudes ready to start games in the Majors by next season, Mets fans should probably prepare for another season with Mike Pelfrey in the rotation. Yes, he’s boring to watch on his best nights and woefully frustrating on his worst, and no, he hasn’t magically started pitching like an ace since the Mets made him their Opening Day starter in 2011.

He’s a guy, and the Mets’ rotation needs guys. Best-case scenario, midway through next season the Mets have four starters throwing better than Pelfrey and Jeurys Familia or Matt Harvey banging down the door from Triple-A, and they can try Pelfrey in the bullpen then. From here, though, it doesn’t seem likely the Mets will have five healthy guys better than Pelfrey to open 2012 in the big-league rotation.

Patrick Flood got Lucas Duda to say way more than he usually does. Check it out and learn Duda’s least-favorite nickname.

I joked about Jeff Francoeur during last night’s taping of the Mostly Mets podcast. I want to clarify. This is that:

With the unemployment rate so high it seems in bad taste to suggest that Francoeur’s continued presence in Major League outfields means anyone can find a job. I understand that it’s not easy to find gainful employment at any time and especially this particular one, and by no means did I intend to imply that if Jeff Francoeur could continue flailing his way into big-league lineups then everyone else could, too. I hope it didn’t come off that way.

What I meant to say is that Jeff Francoeur’s continued presence in Major League outfields should serve as an inspiration to all people, regardless of working status. It’s something bigger than work anyway.

In times of struggle, we doubt ourselves. At least I do. And when you get down, it takes a lot to convince yourself you do not suck at whatever it is you’re attempting, that you have the capacity for greatness. But let Jeff Francoeur serve as a reminder that you don’t need to be great to succeed, you only need to occasionally not suck long enough to convince someone that you do not totally suck. Persistence and one or two marketable skills should get you there.

When the world kicks you to the curb, why reach for the sky? That’s an unobtainable goal. Look to Jeff Francoeur. Pull yourself upright and try to appear presentable for a few weeks or a month. and put stock in the redeeming graces of randomness and good fortune.

So little of what we do in life is as closely and accurately monitored with objective data as a baseball player’s performance is. As far as I know there’s nothing like wOBA to rate doctors, lawyers, teachers, scientists or web editors, and certainly nothing like it to show how well we use our free time, how we relate, how we love.

Francoeur’s having a good year in 2011, but there’s a ton of evidence to show he won’t keep it up. In spite of that, people keep giving him press conferences, contract extensions and fawning newspaper features. If Francoeur can find sympathetic souls to rationalize away his walk rate and career OPS+, there should be nothing in our own relatively uncharted pasts we cannot overcome.

It’d be nice if we could wake up every morning confident we could endeavor whatever it is we set out to do with the ability of Tim Lincecum and enjoy all the same success. But it’s sometimes hard to be so bold. Those times we need Francoeur. Those times, we need only look ourselves in the mirror and muster up the courage to not suck for a long enough stretch for fate to smile on us again.

Oh, that smile.