Category Archives: General Football
College students doing dumb things are not really worthy of your sanctimony
Joe Paterno got fired last night for his inaction in response to the rape, abuse and molestation that allegedly occurred under his jurisdiction.
This is not ground upon which I am comfortable treading, and for that I suppose I should be thankful. Nothing in my 30-plus years of life experience has prepared me to understand what would make someone do the things that Jerry Sandusky supposedly did, nor what would make anyone else protect someone they knew did those things, nor the unspeakable trauma endured by the victims. It’s all way beyond my scope. Sorry if that seems like a copout. All I know is that it’s awful.
But I can add a short footnote, perhaps, in qualified defense of the demonstrating Penn State students widely reviled as idiots.
They are, in large part, most likely idiots. Of course. They’re people, for one thing, and people are in large part idiots. And flipping over news vans in defense of a coach fired for keeping mum about child rape is idiotic behavior, no doubt. Even if you believe Paterno was been made a scapegoat, as they apparently do, it’s just not the most productive way to get your point across. Doesn’t make you look like you have reasonable things to say.
Life at a four-year college offers — to most with the means to attend — a weird, isolated terrarium in which to pass some of our dumbest years free of real-world repercussions. Students drink heavily and make out with strangers, and blow off responsibilities and experiment with controlled substances. There are costs to all those actions, obviously, but generally they’re college-level costs, all of which can be chalked up to the learning experience.
And I know that’s not the case for every student, and I know plenty of 18-year-olds in this country and every other one never get the opportunity. I’m not saying any of it is the way it should be. But it is that way: Some significant portion of this country’s teenagers get shipped off to institutions where they are allowed to spend four years doing moronic things mostly free of adult supervision before they graduate and get body-slammed by vicious reality.
That shouldn’t excuse every stupid thing every college kid does, of course. It’s hardly black-and-white. Plus, they’re still subject to the law, and throwing rocks at cops and indiscriminately starting fires are bad ideas at any age. But if you went away to college, think about some of the things you did there before you scold the undulating masses of chanting morons at Penn State for their behavior. Think about the misguided political stances you took, the pretentious performance art engagements, the spring break indiscretions. What would Twitter have said about you?
To say that the college kids are offering tacit approval of the atrocities Sandusky committed is very likely attributing to them a thought process that does not exist.
They’re college kids. College is a confusing time full of overreaction. Their school and their school’s football program, toward which they clearly feel a lot of loyalty, is in crisis. They’re overreacting. And I’m near-certain they’re chanting whatever stupid things they’re undoubtedly chanting because they haven’t yet found a rhythmic cadence to accompany chants like, “I don’t know why I’m angry at my parents!” and “Every day I grow more suspicious that I don’t matter!”
And you can bet a lot of them just want to go outside to see what all the fuss is about, and then some portion of those just get swept up in the nonsense.
I should note, for the record, that our man Devon is among the rare precociously reasonable college students, and he’s on the ground in State College tweeting reasonable things. Give him a follow if you’re interested in the student’s perspective.
Football awesome
Remember earlier this season, when we were writing off the now first-place Giants and the now tied-for-first-place Jets?
Oh!
Remember yesterday, when the Jets handily beat down the upstart Bills and the Giants ended stupid Tom Brady and the stupid Patriots’ stupid home winning streak?
[poll id=”43″]
Previewing Giants-Patriots with John Fennelly
The worst thing about Tom Brady is everything.
Previewing Jets-Bills with Brian Bassett
Brian’s right. Buffalo wings are adequately rated.
Next, Adam Sandler gets to be the Jets’ offensive coordinator
The brash-talking Jets coach plays, of all things, a New England Patriots fan in an upcoming movie starring Adam Sandler. NFL Network’s Rich Eisen revealed the news on his Thursday podcast that featured Sandler.
Ryan plays a Boston lawyer in “I Hate You, Dad,” which was filmed in Massachusetts last summer.
– Manish Mehta, N.Y. Daily News.
Pretty much everything both Rex Ryan and Adam Sandler do these days prompts a hell of a lot of snark, but I’ll tell you this much: I’m going to see the hell out of this movie.
Jack and Jill looks awful, as did I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Grown Ups. But as far as I’m concerned, Adam Sandler can do whatever he wants.
I learned so much about what I think is funny from Sandler’s first two comedy albums, “They’re All Gonna Laugh at You” and “What the Hell Happened to Me?”. If I never encountered those tapes as a teenager, I imagine you’d be reading a very, very different website right now — or maybe not reading it at all. If this site entertains you, you owe something to Adam Sandler.
Very, very few comedians remain funny and relevant for any extended period of time. There are a lot of reasons why, none I’m too eager to hash out here. But obviously everyone knows Sandler’s goofy shtick now and he has drifted toward self-parody, so it’s easy to take shots at him.
I can’t because I still like him too much. I actually think it’s kind of sad, in a nostalgic sort of way, that people see Adam Sandler now as the guy doing silly things in (presumably) awful movies like Jack and Jill instead of the guy doing silly things in hysterical movies like Billy Madison.
And I imagine there will be enough easy chuckles in I Hate You, Dad for me to get through it in support of Rex Ryan’s acting career.
Not looking forward to the inevitable “Rex Ryan should spend less time making Adam Sandler movies and more time studying film” columns though. How dare he do anything else!
Language not nearly safe for work:
Kris Jenkins takes on the haters
He was ready for it, but it’s still sort of terrifying to IRL troll a giant, giant man.
The People vs. Nickelback
But now that [the Lions are] 6-2 and on their way to a potential playoff berth, the Turkey Day matchup with their division rival, defending Super Bowl champs the Green Bay Packers, has suddenly taken on a lot more significance – which is why their fans are furious that the team has booked Nickelback to be the halftime entertainment.
They’re so angry that one fan started an online petition to have the Lions change the halftime show.
– Steve Baltin, Rolling Stone.
Here’s the thing about Nickelback: Who likes Nickelback? Seriously. Have you or anyone you know ever enjoyed any music performed by Nickelback? Is there anyone in the entire world who’s like, “hell yeah, ‘Photograph’ is a dope jam”?
It makes no sense. They sell tons and tons of albums and still get booked to play NFL halftime shows, and yet you will never find anyone who purports to be an unironic fan of the band Nickelback. Is it that their bland brand of fist-pumping post-grunge is considered so inoffensive that lots of people buy their godawful records to play as background music in gyms* and Wal-Marts?
It can’t be that, because I find Nickelback’s music offensive. And I can’t imagine I’m alone. In fact I feel stupid even ripping them. It’s like the music-writing equivalent of a Charlie Sheen roast. Too easy.
I’ll say this, though: Some big record company has offices on the 30th floor of this building. You can always pick out the executives because they’re all fit dudes in their 40s and 50s who wear t-shirts and blazers with designer jeans and fancy shoes.
One time I got on the elevator to find three of them, in uniform, discussing some new band. During the ride one of them said, “I really think they could be the next Nickelback.”
I instinctively and quite audibly chortled, figuring the guy meant it derisively. But all three of them shot me dirty looks, and we rode the rest of the way down in awkward silence. To these guys, being the next Nickelback is a good thing. They’re eager to find the next Nickelback.
Think about that. Right now, not 30 feet above me, there are dudes in expensive jeans sitting around trying to identify bands that are somehow like Nickelback, that they will then foist upon an unsuspecting society that already gets way, way more than its fill of Nickelback. Is there some way to stop them? Am I obligated to do something about it?
I’m only one man. And I’m not sure they’d respect the opinions of anyone in Old Navy pants anyway. But what’s happening in Detroit — this is a good first step.
That city has as rich a musical history as any in this country. And it has, as has been well-documented, fallen on some hard times. The last thing the people of Detroit need now is Nickelback. Hell, the last thing any of us need now is Nickelback. Sign the petition and let those dudes in the elevator know it’s time to stop looking for the next Nickelback and start looking for the next Stevie Wonder.
*- True story: When “This is How You Remind Me” first blew up, I happened to be in a good workout phase. My friend and I decided that we would use Nickelback’s prevalence in the gym’s music rotation to time our workouts — we exercised until Nickelback came on, then knew it was time to leave. But eventually Nickelback came on so frequently that we found we weren’t getting good enough workouts, because we’d never be there more than 20 minutes before that stupid song started playing. FOR HANDIN’ YOU A HEART WORTH BREAKIN’!
Jets and Giants opponent previews
Check ’em out. First the Patriots:
And the Bills:
Recapping Giants-Dolphins with John Fennelly
A day late and several dollars short:

