Tuesday night, TR Luxury and Get It Done Entertainment sponsored a “Welcome to the New York” party for the Knicks’ new point guard, Raymond Felton. According to the event’s invitations, it would be hosted by “the New York Knicks and Amar’e Stoudemire.” This was not so.

Stoudemire never showed up for the Tuesday night bash at Taj – and with fair reason, it seems. He had no idea it was happening….

Felton wasn’t drinking and appeared uninterested in the scantily clad ladies who flanked him. He did pose for photos with rapper Freeky Zekey of Dipset, and afterward the two exchanged numbers. But that was as edgy as things got. During a brief chat, Felton sounded like what he really wanted to do was just hit the couch like Amar’e.

“Stay home,” he replied when asked what he likes to do in the city. “I like to stay home and watch movies because it’s too cold to go out here. I’m not used to this weather.”

– Gatecrasher, N.Y. Daily News.

You really need to click through and read this full article because the excerpt doesn’t do it justice. It reads like something out of The Onion.

Essentially, the party was billed as an Amar’e Stoudemire-hosted “Welcome to New York” bash for Felton, only no one told Stoudemire about it and he was home watching Californication and Tweeting about it.

And Gatecrasher describes it as if the party sucked and Felton was essentially despondent, uninterested in scantily clad women or alcohol, and telling everyone he’d prefer to be home in front of his TV like Amar’e.

Gosh, such typical NBA players. Just a bunch of homebodies.

Later in the article, the party is described as “sad,” and Felton defends Justin Bieber from the M.S.G. fans that booed him.

Amar’e Stoudemire stood at the foot of the Roman Colosseum and felt empowered in a very Russell Crowe kind of way.

“Oh, I immediately thought of the movie ‘Gladiator,'” Stoudemire says. “It was awesome.”…

The Knicks depart Wednesday afternoon for Milan, the hometown of third-year forward Danilo Gallinari. They are scheduled to play Gallinari’s former club, Armani Jeans Milano on Sunday before heading to Paris, where they will play the Minnesota Timberwolves in an exhibition game next Wednesday.

– Frank Isola, N.Y. Daily News.

When the Knicks failed to land LeBron James, I thought the small upside was that I could continue not bothering to really follow the NBA all that closely. After all, I’m a busy guy and the winter is for college hoops and first-run TV shows and the baseball hot stove and everything.

But Amar’e Stoudemire seems like he might be a pretty awesome dude for a variety of reasons, his personality and thunderous dunks among them. And I can’t really remember the last time the Knicks had a likable star. Allan Houston? Was he a star?

Mind you, I always sort of ironically appreciated Stephon Marbury and in fact still own a pair of Starburys. But that’s different.

I now find myself wondering if Stoudemire and the supporting cast will be enough to have me keep close tabs on the Knicks for the first time since I left for college in 1999. I have my doubts, but that I’m even considering it is a testament to Stoudamire’s charisma, I suppose.

Also, Danilo Gallinari’s Italian team was called “Armani Jeans Milano.” That’s incredible. I assume they played in black t-shirts and designer jeans and smoked cigarettes on the court.

If Stoudemire doesn’t burst out crying in the grinding room or after eating a forkful of horseradish on a piece of matzoh and doesn’t fall backwards after smelling a gallon of horseradish placed right before his eyes, he’ll win the challenge.

“If Amar’e is really Jewish then there is only one way to prove it.”

The payoff?

“We’ll guarantee Amar’e a lifetime supply of Gold’s Horseradish (red, white or extra hot cream style) for him and his family,” Gold said.

Gold said he’ll also donate ten cases of Gold’s condiments, including its mustard products, to a charity or food bank of Stoudemire’s choice for every Knicks win for the next two seasons. And Gold says he’ll step it up for the playoffs, which the team hasn’t played in since the 2003-04 season.

– Darren Rovell, CNBC SportsBiz.

Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man. First of all, good luck with that, Amar’e. I could go either way on horseradish but I’ve never found it too difficult to palate. I imagine a gallon of it is pretty pungent though.

But hey, if you can handle it: FREE HORSERADISH FOR LIFE! I don’t even know if I want that after all those horseradish-related challenges. Plus I’m not certain I’ve ever even purchased horseradish. Of course, I’m not Jewish.

My favorite part of this, though, is that Gold’s is stepping up and donating mustard to the charity of Stoudemire’s choice. Because first off, it’s a condiment. It is by it’s nature extraneous — albeit delicious.

It’s not like they’re donating something with a ton of nutritional value that’s going to help food banks provide for more people. Just mustard, to make the people’s food a little tastier. Which is noble, don’t get me wrong. Just funny.

Also, it would be particularly funny if Stoudemire completed the challenge and chose a charity that was not a food bank, like the Sierra Club or one dedicated to cancer research. And I bet there are plenty of good people working at all those charities who would appreciate tons of mustard.

Knicks Prez Donnie Walsh told me today that Isiah Thomas will be among Knicks GM candidates if they make a hire.

– ESPN’s Chris Broussard, Twitter.

Wait a minute: What?

Look, I don’t know much about operating an NBA basketball team. In fact, there’s really only thing I’m downright certain of: Never, ever let Isiah Thomas anywhere near the controls.

And it’s not about the sexual-harassment lawsuit that cost the Knicks $11.6 million or even the time he overdosed on sleeping pills and then threw his 17-year-old daughter under the bus. I mean, yeah, those are two reasons I’d probably be leery of hiring the guy, but I’m not one for sweeping moral judgments.

I mean, holy crap, they JUST unburied themselves from all the damage the guy did while he was in charge.