Derrick Goold, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Quote

During one of his first years in the majors, with Kansas City, Beltran had a dream about a little monkey picking at his hair. So, he looked to buy a monkey, driving from KC three hours toward St. Louis to pick one up. (“No research, nothing,” he says now. “Straight to the monkey.”) The first weeks included cutting holes in diapers for the monkey’s tail. Mikaela lived with him for several years until a ransacked apartment convinced him the monkey needed a new home; it now has one.

New embarrassing photos of Cole Hamels uncovered

I’ve added two photos to the Embarrassing Photos of Cole Hamels archive, so you might want to check them out. I did not include this one because it’s just not overwhelmingly embarrassing and I have standard to maintain, but it’s worth noting that Cole Hamels’ charitable gift to this elementary school apparently included an awesome new playground and garden as well as a giant mural of Cole Hamels:

The mural and the “I helped the Greater Good” slogan on Hamels’ t-shirt make the photo seem rather ominous, like it’s from a dystopian future ruled by Cole Hamels.

Jeff Francoeur makes reasonable baseball observation, invites gunfire

For me, you win as many damn games as you can, whenever you can. If that’s Stephen Strasburg throwing 200 innings, so what? Cole Hamels pitched 262 innings (at 25, in 2008) the year the Phillies won the World Series. You’re telling Strasburg that once you get to 180 innings, go ahead and enjoy October from the bench? Just shoot me.

Jeff Francoeur.

It may be silly to react to Strasburg’s long-expected shutdown before it happens, but I’ve mentioned it on the podcast a couple of times and I might as well note it in print: If the Nationals make the playoffs and Stephen Strasburg is held out of the postseason due to a pre-set innings limit, they’re ferociously missing the point.

Even if you believe in the Verducci Effect, which is unproven and relies on selection bias, you must recognize that young pitching is fickle, all teams and especially teams built upon young pitching are subject to massive fluctuations in performance year after year, and there’s no definitive way to prevent pitcher injury. There’s no guarantee the Nats will make the playoffs next year or the year after that, and there’s no guarantee Strasburg will be healthy then even if they do, regardless of whether he’s shut down tomorrow. Why do you have Stephen Strasburg if not to help you win the World Series?

Jeff Francoeur has been wrong about many things in the past (i.e., “This pitch is clearly a fastball!”) but he’s spot on here.

Via BBTF.

Friday Q&A pt. 1: Mets stuff

https://twitter.com/ryankelly/status/233920887181701120

Well I’m not going to tell you what to do; like him all you want. For me? No, I’ll never like Chipper Jones. I kind of love him, I think, in some bizarre Freudian way, but I hate his guts. He’s obviously an awesome player and he does some hilarious things — many of which seem aimed at straight-up trolling Mets fans, which I appreciate because I do the same thing sometimes. I’m hoping to write more on this at a later date so I don’t want to scoop myself, but one of the few downsides to this job is it changes the way you are as a fan. Actually, I’m not even sure it’s a downside — it’s just a thing. I’m not the same Mets fan I was six years ago.

My first day with a credential, I went into the Phillies clubhouse after Jimmy Rollins booted a ball that cost Philadelphia the game. Because I hated Jimmy Rollins, I figured, subconsciously, that he’d act like a jerk and prove himself worthy of my hatred. But it turns out Rollins is a disarmingly nice guy.

I’ve never met Larry Jones and he’s pretty much the last Major Leaguer that I actually hate, and I feel like I owe it to my teenage Mets-fan self to hold on to that forever. I’m sure he’s not a bad guy, but he’s the bad guy.

https://twitter.com/RobvanEyndhoven/status/233920066733895682

I see no rush. Duda will be back in September, no doubt, but it’s now clear the Mets aren’t going anywhere this year. Duda’s probably the best offensive option the Mets have for regular play in left, but if the team is actually concerned about his confidence, he might as well get the opportunity to gain it back by feasting on Triple-A pitching for a couple of weeks.

Of course, I’m less certain that’s the issue. The biggest concern surrounding Duda has to be his defense, as it seems pretty clear he’s not going to be a big-league right fielder anytime soon. Since Ike Davis appears entrenched at first — and also probably not rangy enough to play the outfield, for those wondering — Duda needs to play left field until he proves he can’t. I don’t see why he’d have anything close to adequate range in left if he didn’t in right, but maybe he’d at least be better equipped to cover it with his arm in left.

https://twitter.com/GSchif/status/233926888907735040

I assume it’s Colbert, phonetically, because he’s a total Colbert. Also, someone needs to make a weekly Cole Hamels news show called the Colbert Report, sounding out the t’s.

https://twitter.com/JoeBacci/status/233925241389330433

I had heard that, yes. I’m not much of a soccer fan. I don’t want to get into the reasons and start some sort of pro vs. anti-soccer comments section flame war like it’s 2006, but neither the sport itself nor the culture surrounding it really appeal to me. I like the one Italian guy who looks like he’s from the future.

But I would welcome the idea of a soccer team in Flushing if it meant, ultimately, that there’d be more things to do before and after Mets games. This is a purely selfish thing, not an eminent domain thing or a Wilpon thing or anything else: The Willets Point development can’t happen soon enough. I’ve been to most of the Major League ballparks in the country, and I can’t think of any that sit in aesthetically worse immediate areas than Citi Field does. The whole baseball experience would (and hopefully will) be more pleasant if the Iron Triangle were anything but rows upon rows of chop shops. Even if it’s totally corporate and cookie-cuttery, it’d still be nice to have someplace to go within quick walking distance of the stadium and the subway besides the one bar attached to the stadium.

Stickball stuff

Adam Doster’s excellent post to the Classical about Chicago’s regional variety of softball got me thinking about the regional baseball-related game popular in my neighborhood growing up.

Throughout high school and college summers, my friends and I played hundreds of stickball games. Some summers, before stuff like jobs and girlfriends got in the way, it seemed like we played nearly every day. We played other sports too, of course — basketball sometimes and pickup tackle football pretty often. But those typically required more guys or more effort than stickball, our default outdoor activity.

There’s some stuff on the Wikipedia about stickball, but it includes descriptions of varieties we never played. Our version is what the Wiki deems “fast-pitch stickball,” requiring a spray-painted strike zone on the side of a school building. We played with a wooden stickball bat — available at the local sporting-good store — and a tennis ball. The balls and strikes rules are the same as regular baseball, with no limit on foul balls or foul tips.

Because games were typically 3-on-3, 2-on-2 or even 1-on-1 in lean times, there was no baserunning. Ground balls fielded cleanly by the pitcher were outs, as were any fly balls caught by a fielder. Ground balls past the pitcher were singles, and doubles, triples and home runs were distinguished by predetermined landmarks at each field. At the place we most frequently played, my old elementary school, doubles were anything on the gravel area built around the playground, triples were past the playground, and home runs — which were more or less impossible — were past the soccer goal on the field behind the playground.

The game emphasized the pitcher-batter matchup, even more so than real baseball. Plus if it’s a 2-on-2 or 3-on-3 game, you get to hit and pitch much more often than you do in a regular 9-on-9 baseball game.

Most of the time, I played with the same rotating group of 8-10 guys, so we developed pretty keen scouting reports on each other. One guy, who was the best pitcher on our high-school’s baseball team and could touch 90 with his fastball, was the only one capable of intimidating hitters with a tennis ball. One guy threw a sneaky curveball on both sides of the plate. Another guy had great control but reliably threw first-pitch fastballs down the middle that you could sit on. I honestly don’t want to get into more detail even now for fear I’ll give something away for some future game, even though we haven’t played in eight years or so. As recently as a few weeks ago at a bachelor party, several of us were sharing notes on the guys that weren’t around.

I sucked at pitching, relying on a crappy slider and a loopy curveball that often got too much plate. But I developed into a decent wrist hitter with a good eye, the best way to succeed in stickball. Also, because the strike zone was painted in the crook of the L-shaped elementary school field and everything that hit the side wall was foul, pulling the ball provided no benefit.

And something funny happened. I quit baseball after Little League because I wasn’t very good and took up lacrosse for a while because physically violent sports better suited my body type and mentality and because it seemed like a better way to stay in shape for football. I played stickball religiously, but didn’t try baseball again until I joined an 18-and-under travel team with some friends. By then — and I am sure it was because of stickball — I could hit a bit, leading the team in OBP and finishing second in batting average. I am sure it was because of stickball because I hit almost everything right back up the middle — either a groundout to the pitcher, a single through the hole, a fly out to the center fielder or an extra-base hit over his head. I’ve been playing baseball in Brooklyn for six years now, and it took me at least the first two to start pulling the ball with any regularity. Also, I still want to play stickball, almost always. Old habits die hard.

Notable area stickball alumni include Taking Back Sunday drummer Mark O’Connell and ESPN host Kevin Connors.

Everything even resembling baseball is pretty awesome. What version did you play?