Twitter Q&A type thing

Dude, c’mon. You’re just going to lay the slices out flat on the bread so you end up biting into a lunchmeat steak? That’s amateur-hour stuff. You definitely want to maximize surface area by, as you suggest, making sure there’s texture to the distribution of the meat.

But that doesn’t mean rolling or folding the meat on the sandwich either. It takes a delicate touch. Let one end of the meat hit the bread and sort of droop the rest of it on top of it, slightly shaking your hand as you do so. You need to put each slice of meat on there individually. You might think I sound crazy but it’s all in the name of the best possible sandwich. This is serious business.

Well, I like to imagine I’ll be laying in a comfortable bed, surrounded by family — hopefully some grandkids, maybe even great-grandkids — still conscious, listening to beautiful music, watching that Asdrubal Cabrera play over and over again.

Oh wait you mean tomorrow, like because of the rapture? Oh, I don’t know. Hadn’t really thought about it. What time is that happening anyway? I’ll probably play some Madden in the morning. If it’s nice out, maybe I’ll go for a bike ride or do some gardening, then I guess if I have time I’ll get about repenting before I am forever judged.

I didn’t skip an answer in here; I put these two questions together because they struck me as somewhat similar. Here’s a pretty straightforward question OH AND A QUALIFIER THAT MAKES IT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.

I’ll still take Hanley Ramirez for the first, though — even if Heyward and Stanton are in play. Yeah, he had a down season last year and he’s off to a brutal start to this one. There are probably cases to be made for Heyward, David Wright, Ryan Zimmerman and maybe Jose Reyes, but Ramirez has the best combination of youth, health, and evidence of awesomeness.

As for the chicken, I guess that’s got to be fried but not breaded chicken, then. I mean like Buffalo wings. Those count, right? But smoked chicken is delicious too.

All of them had their moments, but I go with the UCB. I’ve linked this here before, but this is my favorite comedy sketch of all time. Vaguely NSFW. Note that it’s all one take:

Ass Pennies – watch more funny videos

Jason Giambi puts the people of Denver on his back and carries them to discounted-taco glory

In the event, Giambi exploded for three home runs and drove in all seven Colorado runs in the Rockies’ 7-1 blowout of the Phillies. He’s now got 419 round-trippers, but this was his first three-homer game.

Rob Neyer, SBNation.com

Look: It’s awesome that Jason Giambi, a really nice guy and a massively entertaining masher of baseballs, became the second oldest man in baseball history to hit three home runs in a game last night. And it’s even more awesome that he did it against the Phillies.

But the most important thing here — and the thing that will be overlooked in the history books, I fear — is that whenever the Rockies score seven or more runs, Denver-area Taco Bells serve discounted tacos between 4 and 6 p.m. the next day. And the Rockies didn’t really need Giambi’s last two home runs and four RBIs, what with Jhoulys Chacin cruising like he was. Giambi did that for the people. So the people could eat cheap tacos.

And if Jason Giambi heroically securing discounted tacos with a home run sounds vaguely familiar, it’s because it has happened before.

Prospecting ranty rant

Excuse me if this reads as something of a braindump. The Mets play at 1 p.m. today and I haven’t had much time to organize these thoughts in any cohesive manner. And I realize they will seem rather, ahh, curmudgeonly.

The MLB draft is over two weeks away and already much of my Twitter feed is filled with people’s mock draft projections. And look: I don’t fault people for Tweeting whatever the hell they want to Tweet. I could always unfollow if it grows unbearable, plus I realize that mock drafts in all sports are good business these days, for better or worse.

But — and again, this is just one man’s opinion — c’mon.

Look: There’s no doubt the draft is massively important, and that drafting well is a huge key to a baseball team’s success. It’s also really, really difficult to do and something into which teams pour a ton of resources. I don’t necessarily think some professional scout’s eye is any better than an amateur with a good working knowledge of college baseball — not at all — I just think it’s probably safe to assume teams are making extremely well-informed decisions with their picks.

And while I think it’s fair to criticize the process when a big-market club refuses to go over-slot for picks or, say, drafts college closers, I don’t think it’s reasonable to nitpick over specific evaluations because teams are probably working with way more information than we are.

Also: Half of these guys are going to suck anyway, and in many cases we’re not going to know which ones are good for six years. It’s not like the NFL where they’re going to be expected to contribute immediately.

Again, I don’t want to undercut how important it is for a team to build a strong organization from within. That’s how you make a winning baseball club. But as understanding of that importance has crept into the mainstream, it seems like maybe the emphasis has gone just a little too far in the other direction.

Like if I have to read another article crowning the 2013-2020 Royals the Kings of Everything, I might something something. I get that they had three of Baseball America‘s top 10 prospects and like half the top 100 or whatever. But let’s not forget that these are the same Kansas City Royals that not only signed Jeff Francoeur and anointed him starting right fielder this offseason, but held a press conference upon doing so. That doesn’t exactly scream “winning baseball franchise” to me, million dollar smiles and prospects or otherwise. These are the same Royals led by staff ace Bruce Chen, who is Bruce Chen.

I know Eric Hosmer, one of those top Royals prospects, has mashed the ball in his first 42 Major League plate appearances. And I love Kansas City’s great baseball and barbecue traditions and I’m the proud owner of a Kansas City Royals jersey. But I’ll believe the Royals will be a top-flight team when I see one of their prospects hit for a full Major League season and their front office get out of its own way.

I remember, I think about midway through the 2005 season, seeing a debate in some somewhat reasonable baseball forum over if David Wright had “surpassed” Andy Marte. What the huh? Wright had by then been mashing Major League pitching for nearly a full season; Marte was still merely a very well-regarded prospect.

We can prospect and speculate and turn every bit of information inside out trying to figure how good these guys will be, but all that really matters — to us, the Major League fans, at least — is how they perform when they get to the big leagues. Part of the reason I enjoy following the Mets’ prospects on Mets Minor League Blog is that Toby and Mike take a very realistic approach to young players. It comes off as pessimistic sometimes, but it’s kind of the way things are.

 

Wow

After years of drug use — and time in jail and a halfway house — Leah Bennett suffered a stroke April 26 and fell into a coma. At the hospital, her son, a baseball star at Holyoke High, felt an array of emotions — anger, guilt, confusion. Bennett died the next day. She was 35.

What happened next was impossibly improbable.

Two days later, in the first game of a doubleheader at Wray that Holyoke had to win, Jaydin pitched a no-hitter.

In the second game, he switched to shortstop and hit four home runs. Four.

Benjamin Hochman, Denver Post.

Wow.