Category Archives: Words

Hell yeah bro

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I got my money on my team, bro.

– Angel Pagan.

Hey, maybe not the world’s safest bet, but good for Pagan for expressing confidence in the Mets.

Truth is — though it will be difficult to unseat Philadelphia — the Mets appear apt to be a lot better than most people think. Remember the post from the other day about how the Mets committed 1633 plate appearances to dudes with sub-.300 on-base percentages? All the main culprits — Jeff Francoeur, Rod Barajas and Alex Cora — are gone.

Assuming some combination of Daniel Murphy, Brad Emaus and Justin Turner emerges from Spring Training with the second-base job and Josh Thole and Ronny Paulino make for a suitable catching platoon, the 2011 Mets may actually field a lineup without any major holes in it. That’s a big, big change from the last couple years, and I think fans might be surprised by how much a team can benefit from not giving away outs.

And better yet, for once the Mets appear to have viable in-house Major League ready depth at most spots on the field.

The problem, obviously, is the pitching. How big of a problem depends on if R.A. Dickey, Jon Niese and Mike Pelfrey can build on successful 2010s and if Sandy Alderson can concoct a legit back end of a rotation out of reclamation projects and rookies.

The Phillies will be good. The Braves, too, will be good. But it’s silly to count out the Mets before the season even starts, especially now that they appear to be in good hands.

Does it matter at all?

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“That’s part of his preparation,” Lowery said. “There’s a little bit of gamesmanship in how he does it.”

Asked to elaborate on what he viewed as gamesmanship, Lowery continued: “It’s really about what you do. I don’t think he talks to talk. He speaks from his heart. Sometimes, there’s a misconception about that. People think that he’s being cocky, or just talking to talk. He says it because he believes it. Or he wants to.”

Of course, whenever Ryan tweaks New England quarterback Tom Brady with his comments, or has fun in a news conference at Belichick’s expense, pundits suggest that he is simultaneously providing additional motivation for the Patriots. Most Jets dismissed this theory Tuesday. A trip to the A.F.C. title game, a chance to end the season of a bitter rival — that should be all the motivation either team requires, they said.

– Greg Bishop, N.Y. Times.

Good writeup by Bishop covering the Jets’ reactions to and opinions of Rex Ryan’s press-conference bravado.

The big question — and one Bishop and some Jets get at in the piece — is if it makes any difference at all what anyone says during the week? Is there any chance the Patriots or Jets actually derive additional motivation from anything Rex Ryan says in a press conference?

I can’t say for certain, obviously. But I’d lean toward no. As D’Brickashaw Ferguson suggests in the article’s concluding quote, it’s not like anyone involved needs extra motivation to win a playoff game.

It’s impossible to prove one way or the other, of course. I’m certain there are examples in which teams seem to have responded — positively or negatively — to public comments from coaches, players, owners, whoever. But we’ll never know if they actually did, or the game just happened to play out to make it appear that they did.

I suppose one argument — one that I recall coming up a lot in relation to Bobby Valentine — is that Ryan could be taking pressure off his team by putting the focus on himself. But again, there’s no way to know if media pressure on a team has any real effect on that team.

Antonio Cromartie says what we’re all thinking

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Cromartie, in his first year with the Jets after four years with the Chargers, backed up Ryan Tuesday when he was asked by the Daily News if he’s ever seen Brady pointing after the Patriots score.

“We see that a lot. He does it a lot,” Cromartie said. “That’s the kind of guy he is. We really don’t give a damn, to tell you the truth.”

Okay, what kind of guy is Brady?

“An ass—-.

“—- him.”

– Gary Myers, N.Y. Daily News.

Amen, brother.

Antonio Cromartie just catapulted himself from “That guy with all the children that’s not as good as Revis” to “total hero.” I wish more athletes said stuff like this, because it sounds almost exactly like I do when I talk about Tom Brady with my friends and family. I suppose after enough profanity-laced tirades you’d wind up in the crosshairs for a whole assload of media sanctimony, but sanctimonious media types are ass—-s too. —- ’em.

Later in the same press conference, Cromartie said, “If you’re an ass—-, you’re an ass—-,” which just became the frontrunner to be my epitaph.

Mets pursuing Dave Bush?

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Rumor has it the Mets are pursuing Dave Bush.

Meh.

The upside to Bush is that he’s durable. I’ve long held that the ability to stay healthy and accrue innings is an underrated talent in pitchers, and it’s one Bush can boast. He has averaged 174 innings a season since 2006.

Problem is, none of them have been all that exceptional. In that same time, Bush has posted an 89 ERA+ and the velocity on his fastball has been steadily declining.

If signed, Bush will likely give the Mets around 174 innings, taking some heat off the bullpen and preventing the team from having to find someone willing to pitch those 174 innings. But Dillon Gee and Pat Misch are probably willing to pitch 174 innings, and they can probably combine for 174 innings just as effective as the ones Bush would provide.

Of course, it doesn’t entirely work like that. The Mets lack starting pitching depth in the high Minors, and bringing in a durable starter practically guarantees depth. Bush is a known quantity that offers a lower ceiling but a higher floor than reclamation projects like Chris Young and Jeff Francis, and for that matter Chris Capuano.

At Metsblog, Michael Baron suggests that pitchers like Bush that yield a lot of contact could benefit from pitching in Citi Field. It is frequently said (perhaps even here) that flyball-heavy pitchers (again, like Bush) could enjoy more success in Citi FIeld than they do elsewhere, and I wonder about this.

There’s still not a ton of evidence that Citi massively suppresses home runs. But even assuming it does — and it certainly looks like it does, even if I know better than to trust my eyes — does that mean the Mets should pursue fly-ball pitchers? The argument is, I suppose, that flyball pitchers might have more relative value to the Mets than to other teams, so the Mets could pick them up at a discount.

I just wonder if it really works out that way. For what it’s worth, the Mets’ most fly-ball prone starter in 2010, Johan Santana, far outperformed his peripherals and defense-independent pitching stats, at least partly because he allowed fewer home runs than you’d expect for a guy yielding so many fly balls. But none of the slew of fly-ball heavy relievers in the Mets’ bullpen did the same.

Tron Legacy in brief review

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I saw Tron: Legacy last night.

SPOILER ALERT: This movie sucks.

Clearly it was inevitable that after Avatar filmmakers would start to figure, “Hey, if we make it look spectacular enough, no one will notice that we didn’t put a whole lot of effort into the script.” Only Tron: Legacy isn’t nearly as awesome to look at as Avatar, so it’s a lot easier to notice how awful some of the dialogue is.

Basically every time a character is introduced, a different character explicitly says exactly who the new person is. “Alan, you’ve been like a surrogate father to me.” “Quorra, you are a loyal assistant,” etc. The only character who isn’t really introduced as such is the main guy, who we learn is a cool guy from the assortment of cool-guy things he does in one of the opening scenes.

If in the first 10 minutes of any movie, you ride a motorcycle and/or leap from death-defying heights only to save yourself at the last second with some contraption no one realized you were wearing, that means you’re probably a cool guy. Xander Cage taught us that.

Anyway, the characters in Tron: Legacy all essentially adhere to the classic Shakespearean archetypes: The Cool Guy, the Old Guy, the Bad Guy and, of course, the David Bowie Guy. The plot is that the Bad Guy has captured the Old Guy and now the Cool Guy has to rescue him, with or without help from the David Bowie Guy. Some of them aren’t actually people and most of them are Jeff Bridges.

Then a bunch of stuff happens and some of it looks pretty cool in IMAX 3D. It wasn’t the type of 3-D where stuff flies off the screen at you, it was the kind where you sense depth in the field of vision, which is also awesome. It’s basically like a big laser-light show, only someone bothered trying to attach a plot to it. They should stop doing that. Just put a bunch of awesome looking stuff on the screen and I’ll come up with my own patter. That way we won’t have to sit through all the scenes before the guy even gets inside the video game.

The main thing is that IMAX 3D is awesome. I remember in grad school, a classmate saying she didn’t like going to the movies because it made her feel violated. She said she hated the experience of becoming lost in a movie, as you really only can in the theater, because she felt like she lost track of reality.

I think about that a lot because all the things she described — and I’m not doing them justice — are the same reasons I love going to the movies. I often go alone, which seems weird to people, but I’m not at the movies to be with people, I’m at the movies to see the movie. When there are people around I feel obligated to make snarky comments so I don’t experience the same sense of escapism.

Anyway, I find — and maybe this is just me — it’s increasingly difficult to really put everything else out of mind and just focus on the movie. I think my iPhone is partly to blame. That’s why I enjoy IMAX 3D. It’s almost mentally taxing just to be able to focus your eyes on the whole screen, and such an overwhelming experience that you really have no other option but to dive headlong into the movie. Even if it’s stupid.

Wasted at-bats

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While working on a freelance job this weekend I wound up ruminating about just how many plate appearances the Mets committed to out machines in 2010. So I looked it up.

For no other reason than my own edification, I added up how many plate appearances each team in the NL East gave to position players with sub-.300 on-base percentages. I realize that .300, in this case, is a somewhat arbitrary benchmark for out-machineyness, and that there are park factors in play and everything else. But it’s a pretty stunning outcome regardless.

The Phillies gave 473 PAs to position players with sub-.300 OBPs.

The Braves gave 625 PAs to position players with sub-.300 OBPs.

The Marlins gave 479 PAs to position players with sub-.300 OBPs (though it’s worth noting that Wes Helms compiled 287 with an even .300 mark).

The Nationals — the lowly Nationals! — gave 1285 PAs to position players with sub-.300 OBPs.

And the Mets gave 1633 PAs to position players with sub-.300 OBPs.

Advances made in anti-piracy technology

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A new long-range laser weapon takes a page from Greek antiquity to thwart marauding pirates at sea. It won’t set their ships on fire, but it can let pirates know they have been spotted and might make them wish for an eye patch, as New Scientist reports.

British defense giant BAE Systems is testing a new green-light laser, which can automatically modulate its intensity depending on the weather and distance to target. Piracy has been on the rise, according to the International Maritime Bureau — there were 430 pirate attacks last year, including an audacious attack on a U.S. warship in the Indian Ocean.

– Rebecca Boyle, PopSci.com.

Pirates are no joke, it turns out. I guess the thing is, huge cargo ships really only need a very small crew. Since all the actual loading and unloading is done by people at the ports, a massive boat shipping consumer goods across the ocean will only have a few dudes on it. So a skiff full of guys with guns can pirate up a big ship without too much trouble.

My buddy was a Lieutenant on a Navy aircraft carrier in the South Pacific. Apparently one night pirates started approaching the boat, mistaking it in the dark for a cargo ship or something. Someone on board shined a massive searchlight on them and they got the hell out of there.

But man, if they actually got close enough to go through with it, that’s got to be one of the worst things that can happen if you’re a pirate. You think you’re in for an easy plunder, and then you get on the boat and there are like hundreds of trained and armed Navy guys on there. Classic pirate blunder.

Lastly, if this new device catches on, people will get to shoot lasers at pirates.

I am still waiting on my check from Taco Bell

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Filmdrunk puts together a video history of product placement in movies. Very entertaining:

I, for one, had no idea Hershey’s paid Spielberg to use Reese’s Pieces. The way I saw it, it’s entirely likely that a kid might use Reese’s Pieces to lure an alien into his house. (Also, did Speak and Spell pay anything?) I suppose since I saw E.T. long after its theatrical release — and after Reese’s Pieces were already popular — I never realized that Reese’s Pieces were relatively new when the movie came out and actually owe some of their popularity to the scene.

The whole thing seems a bit slimy, for sure. But I guess the thing is, we use, discuss, joke about and interact in various ways with consumer goods daily. I figured by now we’d be seeing more of this in television shows, since DVRs allow us to skip all the commercials and everything. I thought the use of Sun Chips as a plot device in an episode of The Office was a harbinger of more obvious product placement to come.

Now that I’m thinking about it I’m considering all the great uses of products in things I like and wondering which were remunerated. Obviously Arrested Development’s beyond meta incorporation of Burger King was genius. Did Abba Zabba pay for placement in Half Baked, or did Dave Chappelle just think Abba Zabba was the comically appropriate candy bar for that scene?

Oh, and for the record, I find most of Adam Sandler’s fast food bits in movies funny. The highlight of Little Nicky was when Sandler’s son-of-the-devil character — after needing to be coached through his first experience chewing and swallowing earthly food — declares, “Popeye’s Chicken is f@#$ing awesome.”

Because he’s right, you know.

Bonus sandwich: Donut Ice Cream Sandwich!

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The wife and I were walking along 9th Ave. on Friday evening and spotted a sign in a window boasting Donut Ice Cream sandwiches. The picture on the sign made it clear that they meant ice cream sandwiched between two halves of a donut, and not a sandwich made out of donut-flavored ice cream, though I’m sure that would be delicious too.

Anyway, obviously I knew I had to have that, so after dinner we stopped by the place — Holey Cream, on 9th and 53rd.

The guys behind the counter were extremely liberal with samples, which was cool since they had a lot of worthwhile ice cream flavors to try. When I asked to order a donut ice cream sandwich, though, the guy asked if I could wait two minutes.

Since there was no one else in the store, I had no idea what was up. Turned out the dude was looking out for me; about a minute later he pulled from somewhere — we smelt it before we saw it — a tray of freshly baked piping hot donuts. Sweet.

You first pick an icing for the donut. I went with chocolate, because I sometimes find vanilla icing on donuts a little too sweet and I knew I’d be stuffing the thing with ice cream besides.

Second, you pick a topping for the donut. I went with crumbled Oreos, because duh.

Last, you choose an ice cream. Here’s where I screwed up a bit, I think. I went with their red velvet flavor based on the delicious, cream-cheesy sample I tasted, but without realizing that there were big hunks of legit red velvet cake in the red velvet ice cream.

On any other occasion, that would be a major win. If it were a hot fudge sundae or something, obviously you want the cake in there. But in this particular instance, since the donut was providing all the cake I needed, the extra cake in the ice cream threw off the ice cream:cake ratio a little bit.

And look: Let it never be said that there can be too much cake. One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from my buddy Ripps, who said: “I’m going to die someday. And when I die, on my deathbed, I’m going to say, ‘I should have had more cake.'”

But great sandwiches are all about proportions and I botched this. For this I am a bit ashamed. Also, the red velvet ice cream was particularly sweet even by ice cream standards, and since there were donuts and icing and Oreo crumbles also in play, I might have picked something a little more straightforward.

All that said, the thing was still amazing. It was excellent ice cream on top of a fresh donut. The wife immediately advocated it for the Sandwich Hall of Fame, but after some consideration I talked her out of it. That pantheon is reserved for perfection and near-perfection, and there were some clear flaws in this sandwich — even if they were all my fault.

The good news is that it’s fully customizable, so I’ll be able to take a shot at a Hall of Fame sandwich next time I go, which will probably happen the next time I pass the place.

Mets’ offseason priorities

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To summarize, we’re looking for starting pitching, we’re looking for left-handed relief and fourth and fifth outfielder possibilities — I’d say in that order of priority.

– Sandy Alderson.

Well, good. I’d probably say a fourth outfielder should be a higher priority than a left-handed reliever, but I’m willing to grant that Alderson might know more about the potential effectiveness of in-house candidates like Mike O’Connor and Eric Niesen than I do.

Though the Mets’ GM doesn’t say anything groundbreaking, all of Adam Rubin’s interview with Alderson is worth reading, if only because it’s refreshing to hear a GM speak logically and without nonsense. The big takeaways: Luis Castillo will probably only be around if he wins the starting second-base job in Spring Training, the Mets will very much look at Daniel Murphy at second base, and Chin-Lung Hu will probably be on the roster as a utility infielder.