Category Archives: Words

Phew

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Well for better or worse, the Jets won yesterday. That’s the best part.

And Taco Bell hero Mark Sanchez stepped up in the fourth quarter and started looking like he did in the first couple weeks and last year’s playoffs: Assertive, confident, and dare I say it — poised.

The Jets’ offensive line mostly stymied the Lions’ pass rush. And Darrelle Revis quieted any lingering doubts about his holdout-related injury and early-season ineffectiveness (by his standards), holding Calvin Johnson to one reception and 13 yards.

But the Jets won in spite of themselves, partly because the Lions seemed driven to match them penalty for penalty, partly because of an inexplicable call after the two-minute warning that saved them about 40 seconds of clock time when they were all out of timeouts.

They were all out of timeouts, it should be noted, because they had to burn two of them to avoid penalties for having too many men on the field on consecutive plays in the fourth quarter. Credit safety James Ihedigbo for his ability to count to 12 and prevent the flags, though the Lions wound up scoring anyway.

Like Rex Ryan said afterward, the win is all that matters. But after dominating opponents for a nice stretch earlier this season, the Jets have started to show strong signs of same-old-Jetsishness, prompting reasonable doubts that they are the Super Bowl-caliber club they were billed to be.

Starting Sunday, the Jets play three games in 11 days, starting with the suddenly hot Browns and culminating in a Thanksgiving Day showdown with the beleaguered Bengals. The Texans fall in the middle there.

It’s a Texans sandwich on Ohio-pro-football bread, and you can bet Rex Ryan is hungry. Will this man complete the sandwich? He looks determined:

Sandwich of the Week disappoints

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At some point in college, I memorized the names, locations and restaurant choices present at every roadside rest stop between New York and Washington. I thought it was funny to refer to them by name — the Walt Whitman, the Joyce Kilmer — and, more importantly, I learned to plan my drive and fueling schedule around the best available fast-food choices.

Over time, though, I lost track of the names and many of the particulars. I developed instead some sort of conditioned subconscious feel for the location of every Roy Rogers along the route, and which Roy Rogers I’d be stopping at based on the amount of gas in the tank at the outset of each trip.

Usually it was the Delaware Travel Plaza, a little past halfway when leaving rested from New York and a great place to recaffeinate when driving back weary after a weekend in DC. It boasted clean-enough bathrooms, a Sbarro for aroma, a Starbucks for coffee, and I think maybe even a Cinnabon for quick and glorious death by sugar — but don’t quote me on that. What mattered most was the Roy Rogers, and a fine one at that.

Look: I don’t mean to knock the other fast-food choices present along the route. (Except Burger King; I’ll happily knock Burger King.) Several stops have Popeye’s Chicken, and Popeye’s Chicken is amazing. But you can get Popeye’s practically anywhere. Except Westchester, of course, unless you’re willing to pay the $1.25 toll to get on the Thruway north from Yonkers to stop at the Popeye’s in the rest stop in Ardsley, which, incidentally, I usually am.

To me, a drive down to DC means a rare opportunity to eat Roy Rogers — the staple fast-food of my early childhood — and I almost never pass it up.

The sandwich: Gold Rush Chicken Sandwich, Roy Rogers, many locations, but not nearly as many as there used to be. For some stupid reason.

The construction: Fried chicken fillet on hamburger bun with bacon, Monterrey Jack cheese and honey mustard. I added lettuce and pickles from the Fixins Bar.

Important background information: I knew the Delaware Travel Plaza closed for renovations last year sometime, but I figured it would be operating again by now and just kind of assumed it would still have a Roy Rogers. Like I said, it’s not something I really thought about, but sort of an ingrained understanding of accessible Roy Rogers restaurants — Roydar?.

Words cannot express my disappointment when I spotted the sign for the new and “improved” Delaware Travel Plaza boasting a Burger King and a Popeye’s. Again, no disrespect to Popeye’s. But c’mon. Just, c’mon.

Worst part was there was roadwork throughout the state, so I had to sit in traffic like a goon, staring at the new, gleaming, vaguely postmodern Travel Plaza. If you’re playing at home, Delaware now has like a billion tolls, endless roadwork, and zero Roy Rogers. For shame, Delaware. For shame.

Luckily, I had enough in the tank to make it past the Chesapeake House and all the way to the Maryland House, by which point I was starving.

What it looks like:


How it tastes: Disappointing. Really disappointing.

I got to the Maryland House pretty late — past my dinner time, and apparently late enough that the sandwiches had been sitting wrapped in foil under the heat lamp for quite a while. And I understand how it goes at rest stops. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly asking for my order to be made fresh. But I’d rather not unwrap a soggy mess, honey mustard spilled out onto the foil and creating a thin, gooey coating on the outside of the bun.

The chicken itself was rubbery, the cheese underwhelming, the bacon thin and limp. And not enough honey mustard was still on the sandwich proper; it was just kind of all about the sandwich, and all over my hands. The pickles were pretty delicious.

I should say that this sandwich was still OK. There’s only so badly you could screw up fried chicken, bacon and cheese. Roy Rogers tested those limits, and I still devoured the thing. It just didn’t match the quality I’ve come to expect even from roadside-rest Roy Rogers. And I like to imagine Roy Rogers himself wouldn’t stand for this.

What it’s worth: Food tends to be a little more expensive at rest stops because they’ve pretty much got a monopoly on your options. Sort of like Disney World, except if Disney World were among the most depressing places in the world. I think the Gold Rush cost me $6 or something. Pricey, considering.

How it rates: 45 out of 100. A once-very good sandwich clearly past its prime, still boasting some qualities that vaguely resemble a good sandwich, but nonetheless hovering barely above replacement-level. The Miguel Tejada of sandwiches.

That explains that

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Mets clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels is under investigation by the NYPD and the Queens District Attorney’s office for allegedly betting on baseball and other sports as part of an organized gambling ring, providing inside information and tips for friends who also placed bets on games and for using his Mets accounts to cover gambling debts, according to law-enforcement sources close to the probe into the longtime Mets employee….

Samuels, who has not been arrested, is believed to have told Major League Baseball that he bet on baseball games, a strict violation of baseball rules. Samuels, the Mets’ clubhouse manager for 27 seasons, was described by a source as a “spider who sat in the middle of a money web,” a man who earned about $80,000 a year from the Mets but whose tax returns showed about $600,000 to $700,000 in income. He has homes in Huntington, L.I., and Port St. Lucie.

– New York Daily News.

If you’re looking for a way to get canned from your job in Major League Baseball right quick, bet on some baseball games. The league and its teams take gambling very, very seriously, and for good reason: Any threat of a fixed outcome would severely jeopardize the integrity of the sport, which is predicated on the notion that both teams are always trying to win. I’ve written before that gambling in sports is potentially worse than steroids, since for all the bluster about performance-enhancing drugs, they’re used in the effort to better the player and help the team win.

No one has suggested that Samuels tried to fix any games or anything like that, but it’s impossible to fault the Mets for not taking chances (and I don’t think anyone has). No one with that much access to the players should ever be so caught up in high-stakes gambling, and Major League Baseball is vigilant about it. This is why I have no sympathy for Pete Rose: It is made abundantly clear to all players, coaches and managers that you do not bet on baseball games.

Gambling problems are a sad and terrifying thing, and if Samuels is addicted, I hope he finds help. But he probably should not be allowed back into a Major League clubhouse anytime soon.

One note, though — the Daily News story makes it sound vaguely like Samuels is raking in $520,000 to $620,000 a year through gambling, and that’s almost certainly not the case. Clubhouse personnel earn the large part of their wages through tips at the end of each season, and a figure as popular and important to the team as Samuels probably gets a ton of them.

Somehow, Omir Santos clears waivers

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That’s right, the Mets did a bit of roster housekeeping today and dispatched Extra-Base Omir, Eddie Kunz, Jesus Feliciano, Raul Valdes and Mike Hessman from their 40-man roster.

All have been assigned to Triple-A Buffalo. Presumably Hessman has long since been institutionalized in Triple-A — like the characters in Shawshank Redemption — and hit so poorly in his 55 at-bat stint with the Mets on purpose so he could get back to the familiar confines of the International League, where he has starred since 2002.

I still think Raul Valdes might make for a passable bullpen arm. His ERA and struggles with Major League lefties seem to suggest otherwise.

Predictably, Joaquin Arias was claimed off waivers by the Royals, meaning the Joaquin Arias Era in Flushing is over. Long Live Joaquin Arias!

The Mets now have 34 players on their 40-man roster, which gives them flexibility to add any additional Minor Leaguers they feel need protection from the Rule 5 draft.

Taco Bell getting sneaky for humanity

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Taco Bell has been quietly testing a reduced-sodium version of its menu at 150 units in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for the past two months, the chain’s president said Tuesday….

“The first place we actually tested this is in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. So 150 restaurants over the last few months have been eating great-tasting Taco Bell food with 23-percent less sodium,” he said. “And the great news is: No one even knows we’ve done it. That’s when you know you’ve been successful.”…

Doolin said Creed is a great example of “conscience capitalism.”

“They are not doing this as a PR stunt,” she said. “They are doing it to make the world a better place…”

– Ron Ruggless, Nation’s Restaurant News.

As if Taco Bell hasn’t already done enough to make the world a better place, they’re now sneakily swapping low-sodium items for their traditional foods to see if anyone notices. And in Dallas, no one has.

We should consider the possibility that Dallas-area Taco Bell consumers, presumably jacked up on mesquite barbecue, do not have the most distinguishing palates.

Plus, if someone swapped in some new recipe when you expected old-fashioned Taco Bell and didn’t tell you about it, I’d say it’s even-money your brain is so thoroughly accustomed to the way Taco Bell is supposed to taste that if the new stuff tastes anything like the old stuff you wouldn’t notice the difference. The power of suggestion being what it is and everything.

So should Taco Bell begin rolling out these new low-sodium replacements nationwide, know that I will remain vigilant and do my best to remain unbiased so I can best review, for you, the newer, healthier Taco Bell.

Unless, of course, they just kind of do it without telling anybody.

Hat tip to Mike for the link.

He also hates irony

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A trip to a Taco Bell restaurant turned into Taco Hell for Jon Gosselin and his girlfriend Ellen Ross after the infamous reality star was recognized at a drive-thru. RadarOnline.com has the complaint filed regarding the incident.

The Jon And Kate Plus 8 star’s girlfriend was so outraged at their treatment at the drive-thru of the restaurant in Lemoyne, Pennsylvania, that she made an official complaint demanding that one of the employees concerned -– “the one with the wrap” around her head –- be fired.

On October 18, 2010, one of the servers tried to take a photograph of Gosselin on their cell phone, causing the seemingly publicity shy pair to become increasingly outraged about their treatment.

– RadarOnline.com.

So get this: A reality TV “star” who bartered his family’s privacy for money and fame is now pissed that Taco Bell employees recognize him and want to take his photograph.

The Radar Online report includes the complaint, and it’s basically that — a bunch of employees recognized Gosselin and gathered at their side of the drive-thru window to look at him, and one tried to photograph him.

For that treatment, of course, Gosselin and his girlfriend are demanding that a presumably minimum-wage (or barely above) employee of the Taco Bell be fired.

Here I thought Jon Gosselin had more class!

Kudos to him for appreciating fine fast food, though.

Robots on the moon

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For $150 billion, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration could have sent astronauts back to the Moon. The Obama administration judged that too expensive, and in September, Congress agreed to cancel the program.

For a fraction of that — less than $200 million, along with about $250 million for a rocket — NASA engineers at the Johnson Space Center in Houston say they can safely send a humanoid robot to the Moon. And they say they could accomplish that in a thousand days…

Despite the sophistication of the project, the robot’s capabilities would be slight compared with what a human could do on the lunar surface. Project M was conceived as a technology demonstration, not a scientific mission.

One of the main tasks envisioned for the robot would be to simply pick up a rock and drop it, as part of an education program broadcast to schools. Students could do the same and compare the relative gravity of Earth.

– Kenneth Chang, N.Y. Times.

I want to make this clear: I’m 100% on board with the idea of sending humanoid robots into space, especially if they look like C3PO, as the Times’ rendering does.

But it’s downright pathetic that we can’t get actual humans back to the moon at a less-than-prohibitive cost. We sent people to the moon in 1969! Before personal computers and CDs and the Internet and Segways.

I was told there’d be moon colonies by now; I thought that was what the Biosphere was about. Ridiculous.

Now we’re reduced to sending robots to the moon so they can pick up a rock and drop it. It’s embarrassing for us and it’s embarrassing for the robots. The Terminator would be humiliated if he lived to see this.

More interesting roster move

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The Mets picked up Jose Reyes’ $11 million option yesterday, a no-brainer. Mike Lupica seems to think otherwise, as does at least one reader of this site. But Fangraphs valued Reyes at slightly over $11 million even last year, when he straight-up sucked for the better part of two months after returning from his thyroid issue.

People seem to think shortstops who can adequately field the position and hit a little bit grow on trees. They don’t. Even in 2010 — undoubtedly a down year statistically — Reyes ranked fifth among Major League shortstops in OPS and fourth in wOBA.

Reyes is worth $11 million even if he performs only as well as he did last season, and way, way more if he produces like he did from 2006 to 2008. Certainly there exists the risk of injury, and if Reyes is going to post a .322 on-base percentage he shouldn’t be hitting leadoff.

But the investment now buys the Mets time to determine how much they’re willing to offer on a long-term extension, plus it’s not like there are any better in-house options laying in wait.

The more interesting roster move, I think, is a minor one: The Mets added Minor League reliever Manuel Alvarez to the 40-man roster, presumably to protect him from the Rule 5 Draft.

That’s good. I mentioned Alvarez a couple times here while wading through the Mets’ bullpen issues. I can’t say I know a damn thing about the guy except that he absolutely dominated High-A and Double-A hitters in 2010.

For the season — including a six-inning stint at Triple-A — the 24-year-old Venezuelan posted a 2.17 ERA and struck out 84 batters in 78 2/3 innings while walking only 12. That’s a near Cliff-Leeian 7:1 K:BB ratio, the type of performance that suggests he could probably contribute to a Major League bullpen soon.

Alvarez did not pitch well at all in his first four Minor League seasons, but the stats suggest he made some sort of adjustment before his 2010 campaign. Toby Hyde described him as a four-pitch pitcher in a post in July, so I wonder if Alvarez added or improved one of those offerings in the offseason. Whatever it was, it worked.

Perhaps Alvarez succumbs to the same fate as Carlos Muniz, drifting between Triple-A and the Majors for a little bit before suffering the inevitable injury setbacks, but if the Mets are hoping to be more careful about letting valuable arms like Heath Bell slip away, protecting Alvarez is a nice first step. Bell’s Minor League peripherals — especially once he hit age 24 — were about as impressive as Alvarez’s, but, of course, he lacked Jon Adkins’ Major League pedigree.

Carlos Beltran invited to talk to Sandy Alderson

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According to El Nuevo Dia, via MLBTR, the Mets have invited Carlos Beltran to meet with Sandy Alderson. I don’t know why, I don’t have any inside information and I don’t know if or when they’ll actually meet. But if they do, I hope Alderson says something like this:

“Hey, Carlos: I know you might feel like you haven’t gotten an entirely fair shake here — from the team, the fans and the media. And I have no idea what happened last year with the miscommunication around your surgery, and frankly, I don’t care.

I know that you are a great player, and for us to compete in 2011 we’re going to need you healthy, happy and productive. I know it’s not much, but I will take every opportunity I can to stress your importance to this club.

And we feel you would be especially valuable to us if you could move to right field this season. I trust you’ve seen the way your friend Angel Pagan covers ground in center, and we think his presence gives us the luxury of moving you to the corner to take a little bit of strain off your knees.”

And then they share a bro-hug or something, and Beltran buys Alderson a beer for being such a straight shooter, and they all live happily ever after.