Category Archives: Words

(Smirks in anticipation of inevitable Bueller comments)

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I found out yesterday that I’m going to Chicago on Labor Day weekend to watch and write about the Mets, and also probably eat a bunch of sandwiches.

If you’re in or near Chicago, you should come hang out. Matt Cerrone is going to put together some sort of party, so join me there as I make so many Blues Brothers references they grow intolerable then poke fun at whichever of Cerrone’s numerous bizarre traveling whims has come up in the last day or so.

If you’re not in or near Chicago, the Mets are offering a package that includes tickets and accommodations.

Obviously Wrigley is awesome and I love Chicago, plus the trip should mean different and hopefully interesting content for this blog.

I haven’t figured out exactly what that means yet, but I’m certain it will involve eating. I know about the fake-ass “pizza” they serve up there, and I recognize that it’s pretty good even if it’s not what pizza should be like, so I’ll probably have some of that.

And I know it’s a sausage town, plus I’m certain to go back to the Billygoat Tavern, both because they serve good burgers and because it’s on Lower Wacker, which cracks me up.

But what I’m really excited about — and what I didn’t know existed the last time I was in the Second City — is the breaded steak sandwich. Look at that thing.

If you know any other Chicago-area delicacies, please let me know. I’m not sure how much food I’ll be able to cram in my face in three days, but hey, when in Rome.

Jeff Francoeur delusional

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If any other player acted like this he’d be called out as a prima donna. Not Francoeur!  No, he gets damn nigh delusional profiles written about him in national publications about how sad it is that he’s not getting more playing time. And you should really read that link, by the way. It suggests that David Wright and Carlos Beltran would be benched if only there were people who could take their place, but Francoeur — who, sadly, doesn’t have a media horde following him as he approaches his 100th career home run! — deserves to be playing because he’s “the team’s hottest hitter.” With that designation being based on five games. Never mind that just before that stretch he was 0 for his previous 15. And you won’t be surprised to find his agent being quoted in that piece as well.

The selfish P.R. onslaught comes as the Mets are sinking in the standings and their team offensive numbers have plummeted to Cubs/Nats level. If any other player pulled this garbage they’d be excoriated in the press and on talk radio, but I can bet you good money that won’t happen to Francoeur. His alleged misuse will still be cited by those seeking Jerry Manuel’s head (never mind that trying to bench Francoeur is one of the few smart things he’s done this year). He’ll still have his supporters calling in to WFAN arguing that he just needs to be given a chance, notwithstanding the fact that he’s had 3300+ plate appearances which conclusively prove that he is, regrettably, what he is.

– Craig Calcaterra, HardballTalk.

I was heading into the office planning to write almost exactly this, then got here and realized my efforts were futile since Calcaterra is a damn baseball blogging machine hellbent on beating everyone to witty, sabermetrically inclined takedowns of crappy players with spectacular egos.

All I can add is that it’s thrilling, in some messed-up way, that much-lauded “character guys” Jeff Francoeur and Alex Cora have pretty much exposed themselves as anything but, now that the team smartly reduced their roles. And I’m not saying I really blame either one of them: Baseball players should want to play, and probably should go ahead and think they’re really good at baseball.

Plus Cora is probably right that the Mets are emphasizing a so-called “youth movement.” But Cora’s comments imply that a team committed to winning now should keep Alex Cora on its roster, and that’s one of the more delusional things you’ll ever hear uttered by anyone.

Now Jeff Francoeur’s agent is on a press tour to get him traded to a team that will play him more? Fantastic! Good luck with that, Ms. Fletcher. Francoeur — smiles, arm, groundouts and all — has been one of worst everyday players in baseball for the past several years. He belongs nowhere near an everyday Major League lineup, and it seems like just about every team in the league has figured that out by now.

Oh lord, this picture. Good clubhouse guys! (Note: Fernando Tatis is still cool by me.)

#BLOCKED!

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I banned my first commenter today. Pretty exciting stuff.

A few people suggested I do so a while back, but I resisted for a number of reasons. I welcome feedback and enjoy seeing comments on my work — a luxury I was never really afforded on the SNY.tv columns — so I intentionally made it as easy as possible for people to comment when I started up this blog. I’m not out to muzzle anybody, even straight-up trolls.

Plus I have a reasonably thick skin and I like giving people an open forum, so I figured if some banned MetsBlog commenter believes he has unlocked the dark secrets to the SNY.tv empire, you know what, go to town in my comments section, bro.

But for some reason, the allegation that my post earlier this afternoon was “hacky” bothered me. I imagine, if pressed, Ryan would say that the Mets absolutely must go out and get Cliff Lee and insist that my post was a Wilpon-driven effort to excuse them from doing so.

Problem is, I honestly think signing Cliff Lee — a 32-year-old pitcher — to a lengthy and expensive deal is a bad idea regardless of it the Mets can afford it and no matter how awesome Lee is right now.

Look: Maybe by now you realize this, but I’m a contrarian by nature. When everyone’s all puppydogs and daffodils about the Mets, I present skepticism. When everyone’s gloomy, I provide some optimism. It’s not a conscious thing, it’s just the way I am. I have no idea why. I went to a stuffy college and became something of a hippie. If I went to a hippie college I probably would’ve started tucking my shirt in.

So this morning’s post — and I really shouldn’t even bother defending it — aimed merely to provide some perspective given all the doom-and-gloom around the blogosphere about the Mets’ payroll stuff. Ryan’s assertion that it was something other than that finally got to me.

When I first started subbing — for some reason my old jobs keep coming up here lately — the teachers I was replacing would always provide a big stack of worksheets to give out to students. I know other subs would yell at kids and force ’em to sit quietly and do their assignment, but that wasn’t my style — I just wasn’t nearly that invested in it.

So my approach was to hand out the worksheets and be forthright: I’d tell students that I didn’t really care if they did them or didn’t, but that I had instructions to collect them at the end of the class. And I’d say, “Look: I’m not here to get you in trouble and I imagine you’re not here to get me in trouble, so everybody just be cool.”

With high schoolers, it worked almost every time. They would sit, usually chatting quietly but rarely getting out of control, and at the end of the period a bunch of them would hand in their worksheets and the rest, I guess, would explain it to their teachers later.

With middle schoolers, the approach failed miserably. Middle schoolers are bastards. They cannot be reasoned with and they are incapable of just being cool. They would yell and throw things and choke each other and then I’d have to yell back and write them up.

My approach to comments on this blog has always been similar: Everybody just be cool. And it has worked. Everybody is cool. There are active discussions and interesting arguments and everyone keeps the tone respectful. It’s great and I am hugely appreciative.

But Ryan had the maturity level of the middle schoolers. And I grew at least a little concerned that some would confuse him with the O.G. commenter Ryan, one of the brightest and funniest people who comments on this blog.

So everybody else, continue being cool. And you’re welcome to doubt my motivations all you want, no matter how often I insist I am being open and honest. Just do it in some productive fashion, or try to add at least a little bit of humor or originality to the mix.

Except you, Ryan, you don’t have that option. You’re banned. Farewell. I will miss your pageviews.

“At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Wait a minute, what about that other part?

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Conservation researchers argue that only by being aware of our aesthetic prejudices can we set them aside when deciding which species cry out to be studied and saved. Reporting recently in the journal Conservation Biology, Morgan J. Trimble, a research fellow at the University of Pretoria in South Africa, and her colleagues examined the scientific literature for roughly 2,000 animal species in southern Africa, and uncovered evidence that scientists, like the rest of us, may be biased toward the beefcakes and beauty queens.

Assessing the publication database for the years 1994 through 2008, the researchers found 1,855 papers about chimpanzees, 1,241 on leopards and 562 about lions — but only 14 for that mammalian equivalent of the blobfish, the African manatee.

“The manatee was the least studied large mammal,” Ms. Trimble said. Speculating on a possible reason for the disparity, she said, “Most scientists are in it for the love of what they do, and a lot of them are interested in big, furry cute things.”

– Natalie Angier, New York Times.

I don’t doubt the idea presented by this article at all. It makes perfect sense that conservationists would work harder to protect cute animals than ugly ones.

But I think the evidence cited above is a particularly bad example, and — and maybe I’m missing something here — strikes me as a pretty severe lapse in logic. I mean, what besides ugliness distinguishes the manatee from chimps, leopards and lions that just might make people less likely to study it in-depth?

Could it be that manatees live in water? Am I nuts? Doesn’t it seem perfectly reasonable to expect human scientists would be more likely to study animals they can observe without strapping on SCUBA gear?

Plus, you know, I’m sure lots of people find manatees plenty attractive. Look at the thing:

Darrelle Revis stuff

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Darrelle Revis is officially a problem in need of a solution. He wants to be paid as if he’s the best cornerback in football. That’s not unreasonable. The Jets say he has three years left on his current deal, which he held out for in 2007. That is also a reasonable position. But let’s look at that 2007 contract and see if there is an answer to this stalemate.

Because of his signing bonus in 2007, Revis is set to earn just $1 million this year. No matter what that his bonuses were ($4.75 million signing, $2.2 million roster in 2008 and $5.7 million roster in 2009), that number is ridiculous. It was clear when the deal was signed that 2010 was going to be a holdout year if Revis ended up being great. Both sides tried to avert this by giving Revis the ability to become a free agent at easy-to-meet playing time levels and then allowing the Jets the ability to buy back years five ($5 million) and six ($15 million). But this fourth year was always no-man’s land.

– Michael Salfino, SNY.tv.

Salfino investigates Darrelle Revis’ holdout and offers a pretty interesting solution.

I have no idea how agent-GM negotiations work. I do know that Revis’ is a special case for a number of reasons: This is an uncapped year, he’s several years away from free agency, and he’s probably the best defensive player in football.

The last one there is the only thing I’m certain of. Revis was unbelievable last year — unbelievable like actually difficult to believe. And he’s 25.

The Jets added depth in their secondary this offseason, but Revis’ ability to shut down the opponents’ top receiver in single coverage is a huge key to Gang Green’s defense. All Super Bowl guarantees and blustering must cease if Revis doesn’t play.

I can’t imagine Rex Ryan is doing much for the Jets’ negotiating position by constantly reminding everyone how good Revis is, but then — as Tom Boorstein pointed out today — that’s probably why Ryan’s players like him so much.

I hate to sound like a WFAN guy because I know there’s always a lot more to it, but the Jets have to sign Revis. Have to. I’m sure they will eventually so I’m really not that concerned about it, but imagine what a shame it would be for the football-watching world to miss out on the wonder of watching Revis for an entire season.

Obligatory Mets payroll post

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The Internet is abuzz with talk of the Mets’ payroll for 2011 and how it will limit the team’s ability to pursue free agents. And it’s true: The Mets have nearly as much as their entire 2010 payroll committed to players for 2011, plus they’ll have arbitration raises to hand out to players like Mike Pelfrey and Angel Pagan.

I’m not here to tell you it’s a good thing. It’s not a good thing.

Granted, the Mets won’t ever say they have no more money to spend,  so we have no idea if they’ll be able to expand their budget in the offseason. But given the way they’re playing it’s hard to expect them to make a whole lot of money in the remainder of the 2010 season. I’m not entirely clear on how a team builds and sets its budget, but I’m sure that an uncompetitive team and a mostly empty stadium are bad ways to bring in more cash to spend on free agents.

That said, there’s a failure in logic, I think, inherent in a lot of the backlash about the Mets’ spending.

The Mets don’t have a lot of money to spend on free agents because of all the money they’ve dished out to free agents. So we may bristle now that they don’t have enough money to pursue Cliff Lee. But if they did have the cash and they signed Cliff Lee, we’d most likely be bristling four years from now about Lee’s crippling contract.

Too often, fans — myself included — forget all the ramifications of free-agent deals. Contracts that seem reasonable in their first years seldom do in their last.

Carlos Beltran, playing like he is, looks like an albatross at $18.5 million for 2011. No matter that he was well worth his contract for most of the past five seasons. Johan Santana, awesome though he has been, seems real expensive at three years and $77.5 moving forward.

This is what happens when you traffic in long-term deals to top-flight talent.

Which is not to say, of course, that teams should never pursue the top-flight talent. They can shoulder the last couple expensive years of a player’s huge contract if they have enough cost-controlled contributors on their roster. Unless they have an infinite payroll, teams cannot sustain themselves if they rely on free agents everywhere.

And that’s, well, that’s what a lot of people have been railing about for a lot of Omar Minaya’s tenure.

I’m not out to defend the Mets for what they’re doing now because it seems very likely that it happened by accident and it hasn’t exactly been rife with shrewd decisions. But what they’re doing now is (sort of, at least) what they should be doing: They are developing and assessing young players who might become deserving Major Leaguers, the type that will prevent them from having to fill out their entire roster with free agents.

As I’ve said, it’s not clear Ruben Tejada or Fernando Martinez should be on the Major League team, and some have argued — perhaps rightfully — that other, closer-to-ready players could have been added to the 40- and 25-man roster in their stead.

But in that pair, plus Josh Thole, Ike Davis, Jon Niese and even less exciting players like Chris Carter and Bobby Parnell, the Mets have a crop of guys who just might help them fill important roster spots on the cheap for the next several seasons. That’s good.

There are bargains to be found in free agency, plus it’s the easiest way to find a total stud for the middle of your lineup or front of your rotation. But due to the way the Mets have played the market over the past few years, they might not be able to play it this year. More on that as it develops, of course.

But for what it’s worth — and I’m just throwing this out there — the Phillies already have $143 million committed for 2011.

Good reading

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Yesterday, I was driving back from New Jersey and listening to the Yankees-Red Sox game, despite the fact that I’m generally indifferent to both teams. My wife asked, “Why do you like baseball?” Considering we’ve been together for almost ten years, it’s amazing she’d never asked me the question in such a plain way.

The short answer is, I have no idea. I could probably think of reasons, things about the game that speak to me. But ultimately, I like it because I like it.

However, if I had to pick one thing, I’d say it’s because every year, there’s always a chance to see something wonderful. Even the lamest, most failure-filled seasons have transcendent moments. 

– Matthew Callan, scratchbomb.com.

Awesome, awesome piece from Callan. Go read it.

Flight attendant melts down in awesome fashion

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After he was bonked in the head by a bag, Steven Slater stunned passengers by spewing profanity and ranting about quitting as the flight from Pittsburgh pulled up to the gate about noon.

“To the f—–g a–hole who told me to f–k off, it’s been a good 28 years,” Slater, 38, purred, cops said. “I’ve had it. That’s it,” he added, a passenger said.

The mad-as-hell steward grabbed a couple of brewskis and popped one open before activating the emergency exit, witnesses told airport employees.

After tossing his two carry-on bags on the slide, he followed them to the tarmac.

– Alison Gendar, Oren Yaniv and Dave Goldiner, N.Y. Daily News.

OK, first off, awesome. I bet if you work on airplanes you constantly think about busting out the emergency slide.

When I worked at the high school, my blaze-of-glory retirement plan included pulling the emergency shower in the chemistry room. I always wanted to see what that would look like and if it even was hooked up to anything. The chemistry teachers always gave kids a big speech about how they should never, ever pull that thing because it would flood the whole school. Unfortunately I left on good terms so I never got to find out if that was true.

Anyway, I have no idea what the background story is here or the nature of Slater’s fight with the passenger. But I know from experience that people can treat you awfully when you’re working a service job.

The article says the guy’s father recently died of Lou Gehrig’s disease and his mother has terminal cancer. Brutal.

I happened to endure some heavy stuff myself one summer when I was working at the deli. When you’ve got that going on, and someone treats you like you’re some sort of mindless machine that exists only for the purpose of serving them, it’s one of the worst feelings imaginable. You want to say, “dammit, you don’t know me, you jackass. You think I’m doing this for fun, you clown? You think I really care about your petty needs?”

You want to get on a loudspeaker, call the person a “f***ing a**hole” and storm out of there. I never did, but I get it. Good for Steven Slater for standing up for himself. Here’s hoping he lands on his feet.

Also, for what it’s worth, I fly JetBlue pretty frequently and Slater looks familiar. I’m pretty sure he was my flight attendant once. And furthermore, it’s amazing that the Daily News put three reporters on the flight-attendant meltdown story.


Don’t go into that room

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The Yankees earned the nickname “The Bronx Zoo” with their brawling teams of the late seventies. But in 1990, outfielder Mel Hall gave the term a new twist.

“That was the year he was bringing exotic animals into the clubhouse—a cheetah or a panther,” recalled pitcher Dave LaPoint, who went 7-10 that season. “It’s weird when you come into the clubhouse and they say, ‘Don’t go into that room.’ “

“I think it was a tiger,” said Buck Showalter, then a young coach with the team.

– Sophia Hollander, Wall Street Journal.

Awesome read from Hollander about a very, very strange season for the Yankees.

I remember a lot of the details from that season. Not the tigers-in-the-clubhouse thing, but Pascual Perez showing up to camp late in an absurdly long stretch limo, Andy Hawkins’ 4-0 loss in a no-hitter, the manager firings, George Steinbrenner’s suspension and all that.

I was nine so I didn’t realize how weird it all was. When you’re young, you don’t have much perspective on strange events because you don’t have a big enough sample size of non-strange events for comparison. That’s pretty much how middle schools get away with it, I think. There was a small zoo in the basement of my middle school, and I never thought it was odd until I went back and subbed there and they were making plans to get rid of the alligator.

Anyway the big thing I remember about the Yankees in 1990 is that they sucked, and they had kinda sucked for a while. When I was coming into consciousness as a baseball fan, it seemed like the Mets were competitive every year and the Yankees were mostly an afterthought or a punchline.

And again, at the time I had no idea how strange it was.

Seems like things are going well for ol’ Harvey the alligator, FWIW.

(Apropos of nothing other than the middle-school zoo stuff: There were also two goats in the school courtyard as part of the same program. One time after football practice my friend set them loose. They roamed the halls all night and ate an entire art project that was hanging on the wall.)

More on Alex Cora’s departure

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I got so excited by the news of Alex Cora’s departure on Saturday that I didn’t spend a whole lot of time assessing the other roster moves involved. Eric Simon did a nice job of it here and I agree with mostly everything he wrote there: Fernando Martinez and Ruben Tejada likely aren’t ready to hit in the Majors, but if the Mets aren’t going to contend anyway I’d rather watch them than Luis Castillo and Jeff Francoeur.

One additional note: I’ve seen some bristling about Cora’s departure because Castillo is still with the Mets. And while I don’t doubt that the money the Mets owe their hobbled second baseman is keeping him on the team as much as any other factor, Castillo still has one baseball skill. He can’t play great defense or hit for any power, but he can get on base a bit.

If the Mets are committed to putting Tejada in their lineup, Castillo’s on-base ability makes him more valuable to the current club than Cora. Tejada offers the team defensive flexibility, so if the Mets are going to have one backup middle infielder they might as well choose the one that might actually avoid making an out if called upon to pinch-hit.

Yes, the Mets are probably only keeping Castillo around because of the $6 million left on his contract for 2011. And yes, they should have signed Felipe Lopez or Orlando Hudson on the cheap this offseason and cut bait on sunk costs. And yes, based on everything we’ve seen for the past year or so, it’s fair to guess that the Mets cut Cora more because of his looming vesting option than his inability to contribute anything tangible to a baseball team.

But all that said, if they were choosing between Castillo and Cora to back up Tejada and Reyes for the remainder of the season, the Mets made the right call.