Army of Jeters!

As a member of the N.Y. media I’m contractually obligated to say something about Derek Jeter today, so I’ll start with this amazing Photoshop montage from the Daily News:


That’s partnered in the print edition with Mike Lupica’s column about, well, something. I guess it’s about how the Yankees don’t want to give Derek Jeter the money Derek Jeter wants but maybe Derek Jeter wants too much money, only stretched out to like 900 words and with a bunch of quotes from rival executives incredulous that the Yankees won’t overpay for a 36-year-old shortstop who can’t field anymore.

The Yankees are doing exactly what they should be doing.

Apparently, since Brian Cashman reportedly told Jeter and his agent to look around for a better deal and come back to him, Mike Francesa suggested the Mets need to sign Jeter to make a splash, or something silly like that. It’s almost too ridiculous to even merit a response, but here’s one anyway:

Signing Derek Jeter to make a splash is the opposite of what the Mets need to do. If Jeter has a three-year, $45 million deal on the table to play for the Yankees, it will require more than that to pry him away. The Mets, by all accounts, don’t have that type of money, and even if they did they shouldn’t spend it on Jeter.

Jeter, despite his defensive issues, is undoubtedly still a very good player. But according to just about everyone he’s not interested in switching positions anytime soon, and the Mets already have a very good player at shortstop. If the Mets had more than $15 million available with which to upgrade their team in 2011, they likely sign Orlando Hudson and an innings-eating starting pitcher, a pair that would likely combine to add more wins than Jeter.

And a multi-year deal would mean the Mets had Jeter on their hands for at least his age 38 and 39 seasons as well. For a lot of money.

It makes no sense.

Being Derek Jeter

I know I shouldn’t post this video here because it only perpetuates this type of stuff, and that there’s not much left to be said about the weirdness of paparazzi culture. But if you ever want to feel sympathy for a rich, famous, handsome Hall of Famer and his rich, famous beautiful actress girlfriend, watch this.

It’s not that the videographer is particularly aggressive or anything like that. He pretty much just stands there filming, then asks Jeter about whatever movie he just saw. Plus I realize that part of the bargain of being a celebrity — and dating celebrities — is sacrificing a good deal of your privacy.

So maybe I shouldn’t feel bad for them at all. But there’s something about Jeter’s brief, disgusted glance at the camera from the car that makes him seem way more human than he ever does during Yankee games (even when he’s diving in vain for groundballs).

Derek Jeter vaguely delusional

Neither Jeter nor his agent, Casey Close, has disclosed what numbers they are seeking, but it is believed Jeter wants a five- to six-year deal somewhere in the range of $20 million a year. If you do the math, that’s a difference of at least $50 million from the Yanks’ offer.

Most baseball analysts agree that, on the open market, the 36-year-old Jeter would attract no more than a two-year deal for a total of $15 million to $20 million.

Anthony McCarron and Bill Madden, N.Y. Daily News.

OK, it’s important — as always — to take the contract details with several grains of salt, since neither Jeter nor his agent is on record with his contract demands. And I know that essentially every single human in the N.Y. sports media has provided his or her opinion on the negotiations, so there’s probably nothing new here.

But it strikes me that Jeter stands to lose a lot more than the Yankees if the two part ways. For one thing, there’s the straight-up cash part of it: No other Major League team would offer Jeter even the three-year, $50 million offer that’s rumored to be the Yankees’ starting bid.

Second, if Jeter cares at all about loyalty and legacy and all that jazz — and presumably he does, since those are like the most Derek Jeter-y things about Jeter at this point — then it behooves him to stay in the Bronx. He must know as well as anyone how offputting it would be to his fans to see him playing in another team’s uniform.

The Yankees stand to take a pretty sizy marketing hit if they let Jeter walk, but it seems unlikely that their fans will stop showing up en masse and watching games on YES as long as the team continues winning. And, straight up, it’s unclear that signing Derek Jeter to a big, expensive contract extension is the best way to keep winning.

If the Yankees’ payroll is finite — which has never been entirely clear — and a $20 mil-a-year pledge to Jeter could feasibly keep them out of the bidding for some future free agent stud (also unlikely), then they’d be better off putting some of their considerable resources toward finding a younger, less expensive shortstop. Jeter is still a good player in spite of his shaky defense and diminishing production. But J.J. Hardy, Rafael Furcal and Jose Reyes — all years younger than Jeter and all currently slated for free agency next offseason — posted similar or better WARs in 2010. Jeter is hardly irreplaceable.

Barring unforeseen circumstances, Jeter will still be rich, handsome, bound for the Hall of Fame and dating Minka Kelly regardless of where he signs this offseason, so it’s hard to say he’ll lose all that much by leaving the Yankees. But he’ll stand to lose money — both contractually and likely due to fewer endorsements — and he’ll forever forgo some of that mystical “True Lifelong Yankee” legacy he has developed in the Bronx.

So it strikes me that the Yanks could easily call his bluff. Leave the three-year, $50 million on the table and tell him to come back to them if he finds anything better. He won’t.

A-Rod once again unclutch

Through the first five games of this series, the Texas Rangers have succeeded for the most part in stifling Mr. Rodriguez, the Yankees third baseman. He has just three hits in 17 at-bats for a .176 batting average and hasn’t hit a home run.

Mr. Rodriguez, who earlier this year became the youngest player to reach the 600-home run mark, was supposed to have buried the notion that he wilted amid the pressure of October baseball. He batted .365 with six home runs in 15 postseason games last year, and Yankees manager Joe Girardi said Thursday that this season has been easier for Mr. Rodriguez because he hasn’t had to answer similar questions about his playoff performance.

Mike Sielski, Wall Street Journal.

The excerpted portion isn’t really a fair representation of Sielski’s piece, since it later examines the way the Rangers are approaching A-Rod and considers the possibility that he’s just not getting too much to hit.

But it’s completely baffling to me that A-Rod’s performance just last postseason didn’t seem to teach anyone anything about the nature of that stigma. Rodriguez now has a .927 career postseason OPS and a .958 career regular-season OPS.

I’m sorry this story sucks: Sample size. Sample size. Sample size. Even great players, the best of their generation, endure rough 17 or 28 at-bat stretches sometimes. When they are isolated and magnified by a short playoff series, we fixate on them and assume that they are somehow meaningful.

Also — allow an only tangentially related rant — Mike Lupica’s column on the same subject is epically Lupica-esque. Allen Barra produced this monumental and must-read bit of trolling earlier this week, exposing Lupica’s tendency to belabor the obvious, and it helped me grasp exactly why I find Lupica’s stuff so frustrating to read. In this particular piece he uses nearly 1,000 words to say, essentially, “A-Rod should hit a home run tonight.”

A good question

Here’s my question: Do we really need right/left field umpires in the postseason?

I’m sure it’s confirmation bias or whatever, but I can’t think of a single instance when I’ve thought, “God, I’m glad we have that guy down the line.” But I can think of about 5 instances in which they’ve made blatantly terrible calls that were obvious to the naked eye (Maier, Phil Cuzzi last year, Berkman’s homer last night, etc).

What is the point?

– Ryan, comments section.

Good question. I wouldn’t be terribly surprised to learn that the presence outfield umpires for the playoffs and All-Star Game are some sort of make-good for a crappy travel schedule in the umpire’s union contract with Major League Baseball or something, because they really don’t seem to serve much productive purpose out there.

I believe it was Ron Darling on last night’s broadcast who pointed out that the right-field umpire actually had a worse perspective for Berkman’s non-homer than the umps at first and home, since he had to spin later to follow the ball’s flight and so had a tougher time seeing the ball tail foul.

And truth is, if no umpire at any level ever works the right- and left-field lines until he gets to the Major League postseason or All-Star Games, no one charged with the task is going at it with much practice. Sure, it doesn’t seem like a massively different skill set than some of the ones involved in umping the corner bases, but, you know, new angle, new perspective, different thing.

I kind of like the novelty of it, in the same way I like celebratory bunting on Opening Day, but it does seem a bit pointless. Especially if they’re not going to get calls right with any frequency.

What we think of when we think of Yankee fans

I think the major reason I no longer harbor any particular distaste toward the Yankees — besides a general preference for underdogs — is that I’m no longer in high school and so no longer need to regularly interact with people like this guy:

The Yankee fans I deal with now tend to be people more like Alex Belth, a guy reasonable enough to recognize that he is lucky to root for a team with the resources to contend every year, who does so without the obnoxious sense of entitlement too frequently demonstrated by people like the fellow seen here.

I know plenty of Yankee fans like that and I suspect they might actually make up more of the actual fanbase than we assume; we merely associate Yankee fandom with people like this guy because of confirmation bias, and because they express their allegiance in a much more vocal and detestable fashion than the Yankee fans smart enough to realize that not everyone gets to root for a perpetual winner.

That GIF (taken from Scratchbomb) is mesmerizing. I could watch this guy for hours.

Frenchy Tracker, go!

Today on Twitter, I set the over-under on Jeff Francoeur-themed sidebars in New York papers during the ALCS at 20.

So far we’re at two, this epic from the Daily News and this one I can’t read from Newsday.

I will try to stay vigilant, but I’d appreciate all the help I could get in monitoring this situation. So please, if you find a story about Jeff Francoeur in a local paper, please alert me via the comments section or the contact box at the above right.

But I’m not interested in stories that just quote Jeff Francoeur somewhere — that’s basically all of them; they have to be about Jeff Francoeur. Items in notebook/roundup pieces are fine as long as Francoeur gets his own dedicated subhead inside the article.

Why do I care? Because I’m a jackass, primarily. But also because I’m really, really interested in knowing how Jeff Francoeur feels about his first taste of the postseason in New York, what it’s like for him to be back here after leaving so recently, what he thinks about Cliff Lee, how he has fit into the Rangers’ clubhouse, his favorite places to eat in New York, and something about his dogs.