And he also eschews the tomato. What a hero:
Taco Bell movin’ on up?
For Yum! Brands Inc. (YUM)’s Taco Bell, thinking outside the bun means going gourmet.
The chain that once used a talking chihuahua to sell chalupas is working with Miami chef Lorena Garcia to win back eaters who have become accustomed to Chipotle Mexican Grill Inc.’s (CMG) style of Mexican fare. Menu items will include Chipotle staples such as black beans, cilantro rice and corn salsa, Greg Creed, Taco Bell’s president, said last month.
Like 15 people alerted me to this news so I figured I should note it here — and thanks to all for the heads up — but I’m not sure it’s actually “news” per se. If you’ll recall, we heard reports of a “Chef’s Signature line” at Taco Bell as early as a month ago, and if that doesn’t imply “fancier versions of Taco Bell stuff,” I don’t know what does.
Also, it seems like a lot of people are taking speculation from industry experts and sources and running with it as fact here, and I’ll believe that Taco Bell will abandon traditional Taco Bell products when I’ve eaten the world’s last MexiMelt and not before.
Clearly Greg Creed is making some changes at Taco Bell — some of them long-anticipated — and I suppose a new line of gussied-up products to compete with Chipotle is a sensible one to try. But let’s not go assuming Taco Bell is going to become a straight-up Chipotle knockoff, because a) that’s not going to happen and b) I’m pretty sure no chain working to become Chipotle would simultaneously release a taco made from Doritos.
Long live Fourthmeal.
Exit the Fernanchise
So Fernando Martinez is off to the Astros, cut from the Mets’ 40-man roster to make room for Ronny Cedeno and his career .286 on-base percentage, joining Lastings Milledge and the Alexes Ochoa and Escobar in a long line of ballyhooed Mets outfield prospects to ultimately provide the team little more than a handful of underwhelming at-bats plus Rich Becker, Ryan Church and some fraction of one-and-a-half pitiful seasons’ worth of Robbie Alomar.
In Martinez’s case, the hindsight is now crystal clear: They should have traded him for Dan Haren or CC Sabathia. They should have seen and understood his obvious physical limitations instead of stubbornly clinging to his youth and promise despite his general lack of meaningful production at any Minor League level.
That’s true, really. Based on the way it all panned out for Martinez with the Mets, they absolutely should have traded him when he still maintained some of the value that came with the Teenage Hitting Machine hype, regardless of what so many of us believed then and probably still believe now about the importance of developing players from within. And we can reasonably debate whether Martinez, at 23, was the sensible guy to cut from a roster that still includes Armando Rodriguez, D.J. Carrasco and Jeremy Hefner, but there’s really no arguing that the Mets of 2007-2011 wouldn’t have been better off parting with Martinez at some time sooner than Jan. 11, 2012.
It’s… well, it’s disappointing, for one thing.
But there are some lessons here regardless, and they are absolutely not that every team should trade its much-hyped prospects for available veteran help — though Martinez’s case will inevitably be cited to make that argument at some point in the not-too-distant future.
His fall from stature instead underscores, I think — and once again, really — the enormous challenge of scouting, developing and understanding young talent that is endeavored by teams, the baseball media and fans alike.
Using Baseball America’s preseason rankings, Grant Brisbee painted a heartbreaking picture of Martinez’s accelerating decline over the past four years. Understandably unstated in the post is that none of Ruben Tejada, Daniel Murphy, Lucas Duda or Dillon Gee ever ranked among Baseball America’s Top 100 and all a) have now inarguably provided the Mets more than Fernando Martinez ever will and b) are currently penciled or inked into starting roles for the 2012 Mets, for better or worse.
Which is not to diminish the exhaustive work done by Baseball America or any other prospecting outlet, only to qualify it. Those rankings are based in part on the players’ upside, and certainly none of the young Mets appear likely to ever be as good as people thought Martinez might have someday been, back when he was still a Teenage Hitting Machine.
Any reasonable Minor League writer will admit that he’s dealing in a ton of uncertainty — they’re called “prospects,” after all. Players develop at various speeds in various ways, and there are hundreds of possible routes to a successful big-league career. Sometimes 19-year-old prodigies develop arthritis and flame out, and sometimes 24-year-old slap-hitters start crushing Double-A pitching and never stop.
That is a long-winded way of saying: It’s best not to rush to rule anyone out or in.
It’s not to say we shouldn’t bother paying attention. Even for all my most-prospects-suck crotchetiness, I still gobble up nearly every year-end ranking of Mets prospects I can find and pore over stats from the team’s low Minors looking for diamonds in the rough. It’s fun, and when the team’s immediate big-league chances look gloomy, it’s a great way to maintain hope for sunnier days down the road. But I would caution against putting too much faith in any list or getting too worked up over rankings. (I tend to trust Kevin Goldstein and our own Toby Hyde most on Mets prospects, for whatever it’s worth.)
Back to the now-departed Fernanchise: I hate to be this guy again, but I think the other lesson or reminder or general item of sadness inherent in the move is the human aspect to it.
And maybe I shouldn’t feel sorry for a guy who got more money for playing baseball at 16 than I likely ever will for anything in my life, but for whatever reason the image of Martinez that stands out in my memory is seeing him leaving the Mets’ Spring Training clubhouse in jeans and a t-shirt looking very much like the college-aged kid he was: certainly athletic, but perhaps a bit soft in the belly. And I remember thinking about the grumblings I’d heard that week about his work ethic, and then thinking about what people would have grumbled about my work ethic (and belly) at 22 (or ever) if anyone outside my family cared.
Martinez is still only 23, so in all likelihood there’s plenty of time for him in baseball and everything. Maybe he gets an opportunity in Houston and hits like Ted Williams, or at least like Carlos Lee, and enjoys a long, successful career in the Majors. Or maybe he doesn’t, but he’s smart and resourceful enough to find a gainful and satisfying way to occupy the rest of his years, inside or outside the game.
And though I’d be hard-pressed to argue there are many better ways to spend your late teens and early 20s than playing baseball — or more accurately, in Martinez’s case, rehabbing for baseball and “resuming baseball activities” — even with all the long bus rides and crappy hotel rooms and cheap meals intrinsic to Minor League life, you’ll never convince me it can’t be strange and at least a little bit sad to wake up at 23 facing the real possibility that the goal you’ve been pursuing since 16 may be unobtainable due in part to physical factors largely beyond your control, and that all you’ve heard about your potential from the crowds gathering around your batting-practice sessions could very well amount to little more than 131 Major League at-bats and a hell of a lot of fuss.
This photo
30 best taco-related crimes
This is must-read material. Some of these will be familiar to TedQuarters regulars, others are new even to a vigilant taco-crime reporter like myself.
Hat tip to Mike and Matt.
Pedro Martinez extremely petty, pretty much right
It’s awesome when my favorite former baseball players reveal that they understand just how awesome they were at baseball. Anyone remember in 2005 when Rickey Henderson pointed out — probably accurately — that he was almost certainly still better than Tony Womack?
Anyway, Pedro Martinez went on WEEI’s Big Show yesterday and said — accurately — that he was better in 1999 than Justin Verlander was in 2011 and better than Cy Young Award winner Barry Zito in 2002. He also revealed that he maintains a grudge against the two writers who left him off the MVP ballot in 1999, made some vague suggestions of racism, insisted that he never took steroids, and dropped some truly Rickey-esque bombs like this one:
Nowadays, 250 strikeouts is a big deal. For Pedro, it was a minor deal to have 250.
Probably worth reading the whole thing. I don’t agree with everything Pedro says, but he’s Pedro regardless.
Via Repoz.
Whodunit
Oldish news now: I was going to write something making fun of all the people playing Guess Who? to determine the author of the anonymous NY Magazine article, but it turns out I’m sitting here doing the exact same thing.
The content is hardly groundbreaking — it’s nothing you can’t read on a dozen blogs everyday or hear on WFAN every morning. But it’s interesting when attributed to a “Met,” vague as that might be. So I’m wondering who you think is responsible:
[poll id=”50″]
Sandwich? of the Week
Et tu, Ken Dynamo?
I’ll confess that when I posted the photo of the Shackburger this morning I figured the voting to be more one-sided, and this writeup to be something like building up a strawman and knocking him down. But I planned to proceed nonetheless, because I have seen and heard some doubt over the cheeseburger’s sandwichitude in the past and because it always seems like good fun to wreak havoc on a strawman of my own design. Great stress relief, too: Just beat the hell out of that strawman, then maybe set him ablaze and dance in the light of the pyre.
But to my surprise, as of right now 27 percent of TedQuarters readers polled believe a cheeseburger is not a sandwich. And because that number includes some of this site’s most reasonable and respected commenters, I will try to proceed in a more thorough and thoughtful fashion than I previously thought necessary.
The candidate: The Shackburger from Shake Shack, various locations. This particular one came from the Shake Shack on 86th St. between Lexington and 3rd Ave. in Manhattan, which usually lacks the lines associated with the locations at Citi Field and Madison Square Park.

The construction: A ground-beef patty with American cheese, lettuce, tomato and “Shack sauce” on a hamburger bun.
Arguments for sandwich-hood: It’s meat and cheese between two pieces of bread with lettuce, tomato and dressing.
Counter-arguments: Based on the comments earlier, the principal arguments against a cheeseburger’s being a sandwich seem to that it has its own name — “cheeseburger” — which is not “sandwich” and does not include “sandwich,” and that it comes on a bun. Also, burgers and sandwiches sometimes occupy distinct sections of restaurant menus, though they’re usually nearby.
How it tastes: Delicious. That’s not really up for debate. Though the burger is pretty small, the meat is the focal point: a juicy, tasty and loosely packed mix of ground sirloin and brisket.
The rest of the ingredients play nice: The bun is soft and fresh, the lettuce adds crunch without weighing the thing down or getting too much in the way, the tomato brings a touch of sweetness and moisture, the cheese provides melty, salty goodness and the mayo-based Shack Sauce adds some tangy flavor and creaminess to the mix without overpowering anything.
Here’s what I wrote about the Shackburger in August:
Biting into it, you taste everything at once: crispy lettuce, sweet tomato, tangy shack sauce, creamy cheese, soft bun, juicy meat. It’s damn near elegant. No, screw that; it is elegant.
I’ve long since given up comparing sandwiches to baseball players but I think I’m prepared to make the following call. And this is not a distinction I would bestow upon a sandwich lightly: The Shake Shack burger is the Carlos Beltran of sandwiches. Deemed overrated by some but still appreciated by legions of Mets fans, every element of its game is excellent without being flashy. It will sometimes require a wait — diminishing its value, no doubt — but patient fans can recognize its greatness in center field at Mets games.
What it’s worth: $4.55 plus tax at the Upper East Side location. But when your parents give you a Shake Shack gift card for Christmas, it’s totally free. Thanks, mom and dad!
The verdict: Guys, c’mon. Just… c’mon. It’s meat and cheese with lettuce and tomato on two pieces of bread. Hell, the first thing the Wikipedia page for Hamburger says about the hamburger is that it’s a sandwich, and we all know the Wikipedia is infallible. You pick it up with your hands. At least one origin myth claims it was invented specifically to be eaten while walking.
It’s a sandwich.
So it comes on a bun, yeah. But a lot of chicken sandwiches come on buns, too, and we don’t just call those “chickens,” because chickens are a different thing. Plus plenty of hamburgers come on brioche or kaiser rolls or English muffins. They’re all sandwiches, I’m sorry to say.
No, wait: I’m not sorry to say. I’m happy to say. Hooray for the hamburger, one of our greatest and best sandwiches!
As for the argument that it’s not a sandwich because it’s called a burger, well… that just doesn’t hold up at all. We rarely distinguish a Reuben as a Reuben sandwich, but that is undoubtedly a sandwich, no? And heroes and subs and grinders and po’ boys all pretty clearly fall within the sandwich of spectrum, and yet in most cases are not referred to as sandwiches.
Here’s our man kendynamo:
I have a question. Let’s say you had a bunch of friends over, and they all got hungry, so you said, “no fear dudes, I’ll get us some sandwiches!” Then you come back with a sack of burgers. Don’t you think your friends are going to wonder why you came back with burgers instead of sandwiches?
Yeah, that’d be a bit weird for sure. First off, I’d be a bit disappointed that my friends were so ungracious about all the delicious burgers I just brought them. And mostly, it would be strange of me to say “sandwiches” when I knew I was going out to get a very specific type of sandwiches. It’d be the same thing, I think, if I came back with a bag of BLTs or banh mi.
I mean, say you were having a party and one of your friends was like, “Hey, is it cool if I invite a few people over?” And there’s plenty of booze around and you generally trust your friend’s taste in friends, so you say it’s fine. Then a half hour later, the G-Unit shows up.
Maybe it’s a pleasant surprise — just like it was with the hamburgers — but it’s always going to be weird for someone to use the less-specific descriptor when there’s an easier way to say exactly what to expect. Your friend’s not wrong: The G-Unit is “a few people.” But maybe if you knew the people he was bringing were the G-Unit you would have taken the time in the interim to purge the playlist of your Belle and Sebastian.
In conclusion, a burger is a sandwich. “Sandwich” is not the most specific way to describe a hamburger, but if you were playing 20 Questions and you thought of a hamburger and someone asked you “Is it a sandwich?” you’d have to say yes before he asked you more questions to narrow it down to a burger.
Fear not: Miguel Batista returning
The Mets have signed free-agent right-handers Miguel Batista and Fernando Cabrera to Minor League deals and invited them to Major League camp. They also signed a light-hitting shortstop named Sean Kazmar, who will report to Minor League camp and not be mentioned for the remainder of this blog post.
Batista you know: He’ll be 41 by Opening Day, he writes poetry and mystery novels, he somehow manages to guile his way to a reasonable ERA every year despite lousy peripherals, and he pitched that two-hit shutout in Game 162 in 2011 that was entirely overshadowed by a first-inning bunt single. On a Minor League deal, he’s a hedge for the five starters penciled in to the Mets’ Opening Day rotation. The Mets will need a fifth starter by April 11, so if Johan Santana is not yet ready to go, Batista will likely be in the mix for early-season starts with Chris Schwinden and… I don’t know, D.J. Carrasco? Pedro Beato?
Cabrera is more interesting. He has thrown 175 1/3 mostly poor innings across parts of seven seasons in the Majors, nearly all of them marked by lots of walks, lots of home runs, and lots of strikeouts. But for the past three years he has mostly pitched in Triple-A in Pawtucket and Sacramende* and mostly been pretty good, striking out over 10 batters per nine in that stretch and maintaining a 2.77 K:BB ratio.
Given the Mets’ 40-man roster crunch it seems unlikely Cabrera will crack the club out of Spring Training, but if he continues to pitch like he has since 2009, he’ll probably wind up in Flushing for a stretch if and when anyone in the Mets’ bullpen gets injured or proves ineffective.
*- I was just struck by an interesting Google paradox. If you say anything about Google results in a big enough forum — like a joke on Arrested Development or a blog post that starts with “a Google search for the term _____ yields (however many) results” — you’re very likely to alter those Google results and thus render your statement inaccurate about as soon as you publish it.
Saber Boy emerges
Craig Calcaterra details a particularly hilarious outcome to a particularly silly Tweet. Click through for more, but here’s the payoff, from illustrator Sarah Weiner:

The drawing is perfect, but the acrimony that preceded it is starting to feel a little old. There are plenty of ways to watch and enjoy baseball, plenty of ways to assess and evaluate baseball players, and plenty of fun, ultimately innocuous arguments to be had while doing so. But there’s no obvious reason to force any sort of which-side-are-you-on dichotomy, and definitely no need to be a d!@# about it.
I reserve the right to be a d!@# about it.
