Colonel Tillinghast L’Hommedieu Huston

The Yankees once considered making their home on 42nd Street in bustling Midtown, according to a remarkable 1915 letter penned by team co-owner Colonel Tillinghast L’Hommedieu Huston.

A New York auction house just got its mitts on the historical gem — in which Huston, hat-in-hand, begs American League brass to help keep the then-financially struggling franchise afloat.

Huston, on behalf of his business partner, Col. Jacob Ruppert, asked AL President Ban Johnson for a meeting to hash over their plans to build a new stadium on 42nd Street.

David K. Li, N.Y. Post.

Well that’s kind of awesome to consider. I guess the important thing to remember is that it’s not just plopping Yankee Stadium and the 2011 Yankees down on our current conception of 42nd St. Obviously the histories of both Yankee Stadium and Midtown Manhattan since 1915 would have been altered had the team moved.

The letter doesn’t say where on 42nd St. the stadium would have gone. The Wikipedia tells me that in 1915 there were elevated trains crossing 42nd on Second, Third, Sixth and Ninth Avenues. The main branch of the New York Public Library was already at 42nd and 5th. The current incarnation of Grand Central Station went up on 42nd St. in 1913.

I’m out of my element here, but presumably the best place to put a baseball stadium on 42nd St. in 1915 would have been on either where all those new high-rises and old warehousey buildings are on the extreme west side or where the U.N. building is on the extreme east side. Historians?

And I suppose we could extrapolate from there: If the Yankees moved to the west side of Manhattan and still managed to secure Babe Ruth and become a massively successful baseball franchise, maybe Times Square extends all the way west now? I don’t know what that means for the 1980s pre-Disney incarnation of Times Square, when it was all peep shows and street preachers. But then the Yankees weren’t exactly these Yankees in the 1980s either.

If the Yankees moved to the east side, is there a Second Ave. subway line by now? Probably. Actually, you’ve got figure the entire infrastructure of the city would be altered pretty significantly by a baseball stadium placed there in 1915. But then I’m also not an urban planner.

Since we’re talking Yankees owners and New Yorker history, a little bit on a subject in which I am an expert: Me.

My new place is not far from a very small park named for Ruppert, a German whose family owned a brewery on the location. My great-great grandfather Adolph Von Berg — also, believe it or not, a German — worked as a brewmeister at Ruppert Brewery until prohibition.

Adolph, who dropped the “Von” from his last name at some point and forever impacted my middle-school seating assignments, had a son named Eric who contracted scarlet fever and lost his hearing before he learned to speak. Eric learned American Sign Language and Adolph spoke only German, so the father and son only communicated through gestures.

Eric and his wife, who was deaf from having been kicked by a horse in childhood, bestowed upon their third son the unfortunate name “Winfred Millard” — the joke in my family was that they never heard how bad it sounded (though “Win” made for a pretty sweet nickname). Winfred, my grandfather, entered school with very little language and failed kindergarten multiple times. But he grew up to be an engineer and inventor and earned 60-something patents. Plus he was a pretty hilarious dude.

New Mostly Mets podcast

For what it’s worth, the only reason I know anything about Thaddeus Kosciuszko is that he was the subject of a verbal SAT passage I taught about 150 times while tutoring.

Also, I’m not sure why I spent so much of the first third of this podcast restating various tweets:

On iTunes here. A rundown:

0:30 – Phone Call – Vic from Staten Island
11:00 – CBA Discussion
– More or less competitive balance?
35:00 Reyes Rumors and the Reyes Tour
40:00 Ted Signs Jose Reyes
47:00 Email
– B-Mets-Ottawa Rumors
– Josh Edgin
– Roy Oswalt
1:09:00 – David Dejesus is not Angel Pagan
1:16:30 – A Revolutionary War History Lesson

Idiocracy totally happening

My high-school physics teacher used to try to sell physics to us by insisting that Evel Knievel had a team of physicists at his disposal measuring out the precise speeds and angles he’d need to safely traverse whatever it was he was jumping, and that his stunts actually weren’t very dangerous at all because every factor was accurately weighed by smart people. Science!

Enter Flying Jimmy Elvis:

The 2011 [Crash-A-Rama] show, a four-hour extravaganza of demolition derbies, figure-eight school bus races and airborne automobiles, was opened by Flying Jimmy Elvis, whose success in launching a Lincoln Town Car super-stretch limousine off a ramp and into a 14 foot by 65 foot mobile home set the tone for the rest of the evening….

Mr. Elvis said he had knocked down some of the walls of the mobile home and had checked for squatters, but otherwise, there was no preparation, nor was there any rehearsal.

He figured that he needed to hit the ramp at 52 miles per hour, a speed computed by nonscientific methods (“It seems about right,” he said). He had never jumped a limousine.

With white “ELVIS” signs glowing and the 4.6-liter V-8 purring, he drove the Lincoln around the speedway. Just beyond the midway point on the front straight, he steered toward the ramp. As he hit it, there were fireworks and a blinding explosion — the pyrotechnician hired by Mr. Elvis had done his job — and the limousine emerged from a cloud of smoke, in lazy flight, 30 feet off the ground. The nose touched down into the top of the mobile home about 20 feet from the far end. Aluminum, pink insulation, wood paneling and shag carpeting flew as the Lincoln smashed back onto the grass infield, traveling another 150 feet or so before coming to a stop.

The most important thing is that I have to get to the next Crash-A-Rama before too many performers suffer life-threatening injuries and the insurance costs spiral out of control (assuming someone thought to insure these things). It sounds utterly awesome.

The second most important thing is that everything I’ve been led to believe about the widely diagnosed dumbing-down of society being incorrect is probably itself incorrect. Or maybe — maybe! — we’re all now so smart that we don’t even need the crack team of physicists anymore, and Flying Jimmy Elvis can just eyeball a limo jump and accurately guesstimate the appropriate launch speed.

In either case, I realized yesterday that I have more off-days left this calendar year than I thought I did, so I’m taking one today. There’ll be a podcast up later, and maybe some other stuff if I get bored or something big happens. But most likely it’ll be slow around here.

Huge hat tip to Billy Pilgrim for the link.

In Living Color returning

I posted the Wayans poll yesterday without knowing about this. Pretty random.

It also seems worth noting that the poll returns ranked the Wayans exactly as I would. And the lack of votes for Kim Wayans means we’ve successfully eliminated the trolls from this site.

Bulletproof, starring Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler, is quietly a very funny movie.

Hat tip to Seth for the news.

Tensions flaring between burros and lawmen

To state park officials, [Burros] are a destructive, invasive menace that cross over from Mexico with disease, foul streams and threaten native plants and wildlife, and should be eliminated. Park rangers have shot and killed more than 120 of the beasts….

In Alpine, “Burro Friendly” stickers appear in the windows of downtown shops and burro talk buzzes through coffee shops. Last month, more than three dozen people attended a pro-burro rally here. A local rancher brought along Liberty, a 5-month-old, gray-furred rescue burro.

Attendees suggested alternatives to killing burros, including darting and sterilizing them, and read burro-inspired poems.

Rick Jervis, USA Today.

I can practically promise this is the most comprehensive feature you will read today about the escalating tension between pro- and anti-burro factions in Alpine, Texas.

Also, I’d really like to see some of the burro-inspired poetry.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that from “burro” we get “burrito,” the tiny delicious donkey that so frequently captures our imaginations.

For that reason, I think I need to come down on the side of the burro defenders. That and the opportunity to yell, “there are dozens of us!” Save the burros.

(Insert inevitable Lebowski reference here)

The Cubs signed outfielder David DeJesus to a two-year deal reportedly worth $10 million with a club option for 2014.

DeJesus endured a down year in Oakland in 2011, but by all accounts it’s a good deal for the Cubs. The New York metro-area native struck out way more than he normally does last season, but suffered from a batting average on balls in play well below his typical rates that likely had something to do with career lows in batting average, on-base percentage and slugging. DeJesus plays the outfield well and has experience in all three positions, though he will be 32 on Opening Day and has not been a full-time center fielder since 2007.

As a Mets fan, I am of course more concerned with what the DeJesus deal means for Angel Pagan’s future in Flushing. DeJesus and Pagan posted remarkably similar offensive lines in 2011: DeJesus hit .240/.323/.376 in pitcher-friendly Oakland, Pagan .262/.322/.372 at Citi Field.

DeJesus’ career numbers are slightly better: He has a 106 OPS+ to Pagan’s 101, and several more seasons’ worth of consistent production.

Pagan, we all saw, struggled defensively in 2011 after an excellent season in center in 2010. But Pagan is a year and a half younger than DeJesus, and since he is eligible for arbitration, will not require a multi-year commitment.

Add that to the fact that Grady Sizemore — who was once awesome but has not been better than Pagan since 2008 — recently signed a one-year, $5 million deal with the Indians, and all signs to the Mets making the smart move and returning their center fielder for another go of it in Flushing.

This still bothers many Mets fans. But color me skeptical that all the various reports of the team’s impatience with Pagan’s supposed behavioral problems amount to anything more than offseason chatter.

Thus far the team’s front office has shown a consistent ability to defy the noise in the media and fan base in favor of prudent decisions, and since no better and less expensive options appear available on the market, Pagan still seems like the Mets’ best choice to open the season in center in 2012.

Mark Teixeira super psyched about HGH test

“Players get suspended for violating the policy,” said Teixeira, who will be honored as Sportsman of the Year by the March of Dimes today in Manhattan. “HGH testing should continue the pursuit of perfection. We want everybody to know we want to get all drugs out of the game.”

George A. King III, N.Y. Post.

I’m waiting for the player quote that reads like this:

“Wait, what?” said Jimbo Ballhitter when asked about MLB’s new HGH-testing policy. “I guess, ahh, I think it’s a good thing. You know, clean up the game. Hey do you have any idea how long that stuff stays in your system?”

Two versions of Bobby V’s wrap creation myth emerge

Presumably most of you know by now that former Mets manager and soon-to-be-named Red Sox skipper Bobby Valentine claims to have invented the wrap sandwich. But check it out: Valentine has told at least two different versions of the story that vary slightly.

In a YouTube interview, Valentine says he invented the wrap in 1980 when the toaster at his restaurant was broken and a regular customer ordered a club sandwich for five straight days. In this version of the story, Valentine claims that after five days of trying to make the toaster work, he offered the man a club sandwich wrapped in tortilla, cut into thirds with melted cheese on top. “And from that day on,” he says, “they called it a wrap.”

But in an interview with Ken Hoffman of the Houston Chronicle in 2010, Valentine says he invented the wrap “a few years” after he first opened the restaurant in Stamford in 1980. He again cites the broken toaster, but there’s no mention of the five-day lag for inspiration. And this time, Valentine says, “In the mid-’90s, the Food Network was visiting our restaurant and my manager called the Club Mex a ‘Wrap.’ The name stuck.”

So was it really called a wrap from Day 1, or was that name something that came about years later? These are important semantic details.

I think the people of Boston deserve the real story. Get on it, Dan Shaughnessy.

Also, as for the boldness of the claim: I’m sure Valentine really did think to wrap sandwich stuff in a tortilla out of necessity in a Stamford kitchen on one fateful day, whether it was in 1980 or a few years later.

But I’m equally certain he wasn’t the first to do so. As has been discussed myriad times on this website, the idea of wrapping protein in starch is as nearly as old and as universal as food itself. Just about anyone who has ever claimed to have invented any broad form variety of sandwich has turned out to be incorrect, even John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich himself.

There’s still some chance various more specific sandwiches have not yet been conceived, which is pretty much why we beat on in this waking life. And as with many inventions, it’s sometimes fair to credit those that popularized or perfected certain sandwiches even if they weren’t the first to actually create them.

There’s also this, via our man Takashi: