Cormac McCarthy reviews Taco Bell

And so the man defied the villagers and ate the taco. In defiance of the will of those people but also in defiance of some order older than he. Older than tortillas. Than the ancient and twisted cedars. How could we know his mind? We are all of us unknowable. Blind strangers passing on a mountain road.

The man laid there in the village square for three days and nights and took no food and spoke to no visitor. The older villagers said that the man should not have eaten the taco and no sane man would do so and the price of such folly was known to all.

Yelping with Cormac.

If you only read one fake Cormac McCarthy Tumblr, make it this one. Via Tom.

Also, did anyone see the movie version of The Road? I loved the book, but the movie might have actually been too depressing. That’s the type of story you want to be able to put down and space out, I think. Great Omar work though.

Why thank you!

That was a pathetic, ridiculous article you wrote about how the team should keep Wright because they are reconfiguring and lowering the fences to David the Whiner Wrights specifications. Get rid of him, he’s useless, he struck out more anything last season anyhow. What guarantee is there with the fences being moved in he will hit any more home runs than he did last season. You make me laugh your so pathetic, as is David Wright

– Brian, via email.

Why thank you, Brian! Your insight is appreciated.

I’d provide a more substantive response or explain the various ways in which the things you think I said are not actually what I said, but I’m going to defer to Patrick Flood on this one. He just put out the first of a three-part thing on David Wright and the Citi Field wall, and it seems like it’s going to be pretty damn awesome.

Resisting urge to use *that* headline

Frazier, who died last night after a brief battle with liver cancer at the age of 67, will forever be linked to Ali. But no one in boxing would dream of anointing Ali as The Greatest unless he, too, was linked to Smokin’ Joe….

In their third and final fight, in Manila in 1975, they traded punches with a fervor that seemed unimaginable among heavyweights. Frazier gave almost as good as he got for 14 rounds, then had to be held back by trainer Eddie Futch as he tried to go out for the final round, unable to see.

“Closest thing to dying that I know of,” Ali said afterward of his experience.

Associated Press.

With a few exceptions, boxing — especially in the heavyweight division — seems like a dying art now. Clearly mixed martial arts have cut into its popularity or perhaps supplanted it in the national spotlight (though I have struggled to appreciate the aesthetic intricacies of that sport in my limited exposure to it). I used to be able to chart the succession of heavyweight champions with some certitude, and I couldn’t even tell you which Klitschko holds which belt today.

Maybe I’ve just lost interest. Obviously Manny Pacquiao is sweet, and I know there’s still tons of intrigue in some of the lighter divisions. Whatever. I didn’t set out to write a requiem for boxing.

For a while — specifically, during my freshman year of college — I thought boxing was about the best non-baseball sport imaginable. I was studying empiricism at the time, and I guess boxing seemed like the perfect, stripped-down athletic pursuit: Two guys with very limited equipment beating the hell out of each other to determine who would… I don’t know, secure alpha male status or something.

A couple times a week I went to Finley’s Boxing Club, this almost too-perfect gym above an auto-body shop in Northeast DC, wallpapered in fight posters and soundtracked by an awesome cacophony of ringing bells, whirring ropes, fists pounding punching bags and a boombox blaring soul music. The old trainer guy there — Mr. Finley — said I looked like an actor on a soap opera and called me “Hollywood,” which made me feel awesome.

I weighed 175 pounds at the time — In the Best Shape of My Life, in the parlance of Spring Training baseball. Before my senior year of high school football, when I was hellbent on breaking some of my brother’s school weightlifting records, I checked in at about 230. I switched defensive positions and dropped about 30 pounds over the course of that season. I lost another 10 before I graduated, then 15 more in an ill-fated two-month stint on the freshman crew team.

I watched old fights whenever I could (this was before YouTube), and for a variety of reasons I was drawn to Frazier. For one thing, I had read that he took up boxing to lose weight. For another, it felt like his strengths were some I could emulate: He wasn’t tall, but he was relentless. He could take a punch, and get inside a guy and go to work on his body.

I never got past sparring, but even that is about the most taxing athletic activity I’ve ever endeavored. The boxing priest who introduced me to the gym compared every round to a three-minute sprint. That’s about right. The adrenaline rush of chasing down an opposing running back in football can’t compare to the one that comes from standing in a small ring with a dude who’s trying to punch you in the face.

Oh — I sucked, by the way. Lest you think this is any sort of bragging, I should mention that I normally got my ass handed to me in every sparring session. I often matched up with this guy named Guy, a wiry 6’4″ ex-Marine. He jabbed me to hell, and his left hand was usually strong enough to keep me from getting inside like I planned. But even getting beat down was fun as hell in some masochistic way.

Eventually, I took up more typically collegiate pursuits like drinking and standup comedy, and my interest in dedicating hours of my free time getting beaten up waned. I met Frazier and interviewed a few years later at a charity boxing event in DC featuring then up-and-comer Michael Grant (who, Wikipedia tells me, is still going). Nice guy. Great hat.

Bold Flavors Snack of the Week

More sandwich reviews coming soon, I promise. Been really busy with all this moving and such.

Anyway, here’s an easy recipe:

1) Go to the deli counter at Fairway. Take a number.
2) After ordering a week’s worth of lunchmeats, notice the delicious-looking knishes in the display.
3) Order a knish. (OPTIONAL: Remember you’re married and ask for another.)
4) Bring the knishes home and put them in the toaster oven at 350-degrees for about 20 minutes.
5) Remove and eat.

Bold Flavors Snack of the Week: Knish

Man, why don’t we eat more knishes? In college, I met a bunch of people who weren’t from New York and had never even heard of a knish. Could you imagine? They’re so delicious, so relatively simple, and yet limited in availability to such a small portion of the country. Why?

If you’re unfamiliar: A knish, in its most basic incarnation, is essentially just mashed potatoes wrapped in pastry. That’s the square kind shown above — billed as “Coney Island Knish” at Fairway. There are a bunch of fancier, round knishes with various fillings in addition to potato, and at high-end knisheries they’ll tell you the square types are nonsense. Whatever. They’re amazing.

As you can see, I served myself my knish with mustard, ketchup and sriracha. It turned out sriracha was no good on a knish, so just pretend that’s not there. Mustard is the traditional knish condiment. I don’t want to get into another whole debate, but I like a little ketchup on there too, for sweetness. Mostly mustard, though.

Point is, you bite into the slightly crispy, chewy, salty pastry part of the knish to reveal a center of delicious molten mashed potatoes, smooth and peppery. It’s tasty enough on its own, but as a vehicle for mustard (and a little ketchup), it’s outstanding.

I just don’t think we’re doing enough with savory pastries in general.

This, so hard

One high-ranking front office insider said that, when Citi Field’s new dimensions were being considered, “there was a lot of discussion about Wright,” and how it would help him. Wright hit 14 home runs last season, in an injury-shortened year. The Mets expect the new homer-friendlier field to boost his value far higher than it is right now. The team’s top decision-makers view it as illogical to deal Wright before he has the chance to benefit from the alterations.

Andy Martino, N.Y. Daily News.

I’ve said almost this same exact thing here before, but again: This, so hard.

If the Mets believe the Citi Field walls had some effect on their hitters beyond those that can be measured — the psychological or mechanical ones so often suggested, for example — then it makes no sense to trade the hitter most obviously impacted by those walls before he can even play in the reconfigured stadium.

For a long time I was convinced David Wright’s struggles from 2009-2011 had nothing to do with Citi Field. I pointed to the park factor and his home-road splits and various injuries. And I’m still open to the possibility that it’s just a massive coincidence that as soon as Citi Field opened Wright went all weird offensively.

But I mean, look at the back of the baseball card. Wright was amazingly consistent from 2005 to 2008. There’s no obvious reason he should suddenly lose his power and start striking out way more at age 26. And don’t tell me it’s the Matt Cain fastball, either — Wright was having a very strange 2009 long before that happened.

Trading Wright this offseason makes so little sense for so many reasons. It’s bizarre that it keeps coming up.

Cricket-fighting revival underway

Countless members of the Gryllus bimaculatus clan, also known as field crickets, have faced off in the capital’s narrow alleys this fall in a uniquely Chinese blood sport whose provenance extends back more than 1,000 years. Nurtured by Tang Dynasty emperors and later popularized by commoners outside the palace gates, cricket fighting was banned as a bourgeois predilection during the decade-long Cultural Revolution, which ended in 1976.

But like many once-suppressed traditions, among them Confucianism, mah-jongg and pigeon raising, cricket fighting is undergoing a revival here, spurred on by a younger generation — well, mostly young men — eager to embrace genuinely Chinese pastimes.

Andrew Jacobs, N.Y. Times.

Please tell me this is happening somewhere in New York. Chinatown? Sunset Park? If anyone has a line on an underground cricket-fighting ring, I will pay you money to get me in to a fight. Not like, in the fight against a cricket — that wouldn’t be fair. I just want to get in to the arena to watch the crickets fight, and maybe bet some cash on the cricket I think looks heartiest.

Same goes for cockfighting, and really any illicit animal blood sport. Not that I advocate animal cruelty — I don’t. I just want to check out the scene. I won’t narc you out or anything. Email me.

Actually, for my science fair project in high school I examined social dominance in crayfish, which essentially meant watching a bunch of crayfish fight in a tank in this weird lab-closet in the back of one of the school’s science classrooms. Most crayfish fights kind of suck, actually, but every once in a while they’ll really throw down.

Yoenis Cespedes hates subtlety

Remember all that stuff I said about how the Mets shouldn’t non-tender Angel Pagan because there are no better options available? Forget all that. I failed to consider my new favorite baseball player in the world, Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes.

Do read Kevin Goldstein’s scouting report and film review before you continue.

The ability to spit-roast a pig is the new market inefficiency.