Someone spotted Albert Pujols at Best Buy this morning buying a DVD. Now, the search is on: What DVD was Albert Pujols buying?
Ingrate firebombs Taco Bell
ALBANY, GA – An unsatisfied customer fire-bombed the Taco Bell on North Slappey Boulevard in Albany.
The area under the drive thru was burned by a molotov cocktail….
The restaurant manager says an irate customer phoned them a few hours earlier to complain there wasn’t enough meat in his Chalupas.
– WALB.com.
What? No. Dude, just… no.
Lord knows we’ve all been upset some time or another with the taco construction at Taco Bell. It happens. Maybe your tacos were made by an inexperienced and/or disgruntled employee, or maybe you caught them right at the end of one bag of seasoned ground beef and they didn’t want to take up too much of your time to open another. And that’s frustrating. I’m with you on that one, bro.
But no matter how poor the quality of your Taco Bell order, DO NOT firebomb the Taco Bell.
First of all, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to get arrested and go to jail. And you know what sucks about jail? No Taco Bell.
Also: Just think of how the other inmates will treat you when they find out you’re there for trying to burn down a Taco Bell. That’s not going to win you any friends in the clink. Those dudes spend years doing push-ups and thinking about how great it would be to be on the outside double-fisting MexiMelts, and now here comes the new fish and what’d he do? He tried to destroy the dream!
Furthermore, have you even considered the way your actions might impact Taco Bell’s price structure? If people start regularly firebombing Taco Bells — and who knows? This could prompt an unfortunate trend — that’s going to jack up their insurance rates. And you think they’re being stingy with the meat now!
Sir, I also love seasoned ground beef and fire so I imagine we see eye to eye on a lot of things. But no matter how heartbreaking it is to bite into a subpar Chalupa, arson is never the answer.
If you burn down the Taco Bell, that Taco Bell won’t exist anymore (or at least for a while, until they rebuild it). And you wouldn’t even know to be disappointed with your Taco Bell order were it not for the lofty standards set by Taco Bell itself. Am I blowing your mind right now?
There are so many better ways to express your dissatisfaction. You could ask for the manager. Picket. Write a letter.
Or, if all that fails, you could just drive to the other Taco Bell in town. You know, the one over on East Oglethorpe between Captain D’s Seafood and the Western Sizzlin’ steakhouse. If you see the Hardee’s, you’ve gone too far.
Again.
Looking back at the Buckner game
As you may have heard, tonight marks the 25th anniversary of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Over at SNY Why Guys, David Ferris looks at some of the less-heralded aspects of that game.
Six classic songs that were supposed to be jokes
“Sweet Child” went on to hit number one on the charts, helping Guns N’ Roses’ album Appetite for Destruction secure its spot as the top-selling debut album of any band in the U.S. So let this be a lesson to every creative person reading this: What you like, and what your audience likes, are probably going to be very different. It’s probably best to just go with it.
Via Jonah Keri, an excellent read on some unlikely hits. I knew the backstories to a few of these, but not all.
On a vaguely related note — and in the spirit of ego-boosting established by the last feedback-form post — I’m probably going to queue up some TedQuarters Greatest Hits (ie reruns) for whatever day I wind up taking off to move next week. If you’ve got a particular favorite post that you’d like to make sure your fellow readers see (or that you’d like to read again but are too lazy to search for), please suggest it here:
Your message has been sent
To rebuild or not to rebuild?
The term “rebuilding” is thrown around a lot in some baseball discussions, if not often publicly by front-office types themselves. To some Mets fans, the team needs a rebuilding year to usher it back toward contention. To others, the idea of blowing up the club — trading all the best players for promising prospects and starting fresh — seems too rash.
What the Mets actually need likely falls somewhere between the two. And really the term “rebuilding,” in its professional sports connotation at least, is shorthand for an approach to a whole series of decisions facing a team. For a smaller market club, it may make sense to function like a Taco Bell franchise: operating with the structure it has until it’s no longer efficient to do so, then tearing down the building and suffering short-term losses while it erects something that works better.
But teams like the Mets, if running optimally and with the flexibility afforded by a big budget, should never really require such a drastic overhaul. A better approach — or metaphor, or whatever — for those clubs might be a state of perpetual renovation, the type required to maintain the value of a structure more stately than a suburban fast-food joint (however delicious).
Whatever. The point is, those Mets fans crying “rebuild” should consider that the team endured many of the aspects typically associated with a rebuilding in 2011.
Yes, they made pretenses toward contention before the season and for a time even teased us with a winning club. But the 2011 Mets entrusted a slew of big-league roles to young and unproven players, resisted the urge to trade prospects for help at the Major League level, and even traded a couple of proven veterans to benefit their future.
And considering all that, it went pretty well. We learned that Josh Thole, Daniel Murphy, Ruben Tejada, Justin Turner, Lucas Duda and Dillon Gee deserve spots on Major League rosters, if not necessarily everyday roles or the jobs they are penciled in for in 2012.
In the Minors, the Mets’ top pitching prospects progressed, which is good. Most of their top offensive prospects (outside of the ones who cracked the Majors) did not. And in a way that’s not all bad, either. The Mets will not likely bank on the success of Fernando Martinez now after another injury-plagued and underwhelming season in Buffalo. It’d no doubt be a lot better if he busted out in 2011, but a firmer sense of Martinez’s chances gives the team more information with which to move forward.
There’s obviously plenty of work to be done before the Mets can comfortably field a functioning 2012 baseball team, and further work still before the Mets can field a contending baseball team. And when I suggested earlier that a team with the Mets’ resources should never have to entirely rebuild, I said “if running optimally,” which the Mets certainly were not for the latter years of Omar Minaya’s tenure.
All I mean to say is that the process — whether you want to call it rebuilding or retooling or renovating — has long since begun. It’s never going to be as obvious or unsubtle as a wrecking ball to the side of a Taco Bell, nor is there any sort of detonator the team’s front office can or will push to blow the whole thing up. It’s fluid.
Really, to many fans it appears the question of whether or not to rebuild in 2012 is linked only to the way the club should approach the futures of its two biggest stars, Jose Reyes and David Wright.
But signing Reyes to a long-term free-agent contract this offseason should in no way imply that the Mets expect to contend in 2012 and will make every effort to do so; it should only say that the Mets expect to Reyes to stay healthy and productive for a long enough time to benefit their next contender, even if that’s a couple of seasons away.
And trading Wright right now, coming off a down year, makes no sense at all. Even if the club wanted to admit to a full “rebuilding” phase — likely sacrificing some of the ticket and ad sales that allow it to maintain a large payroll — it would be better served waiting to see if Wright rebounds in 2012 before shipping him elsewhere for prospects.
The Mets’ front office appears (and has behaved) as if it is interested in developing a sustainable winner by fostering depth from within and putting faith in promising young players. It doesn’t matter what you call the process, only that the process is already underway.
Burn!
Bye bye bye
Teams coming off a bye have been horrible this season. Three wins and nines losses to this point. All the time off actually hurts the players, especially since training camps were so condensed. Right now, players don’t need more rest; they need to keep improving on their fundamentals. The lack of practice time makes it hard to get players in game shape with great pad level and explosion. Four days off makes it even harder to regenerate what was gained from the start of the season. I’d be worried if my team was now entering a bye week.
I’ve seen this factoid mentioned a number of times in relation to the Jets already, but something about it didn’t smell right. Mostly: 3-9. A 12-game sample in this case doesn’t seem like enough to indicate anything.
As it turns out, the 12 teams who have had bye weeks so far are a combined 28-43 for the season. And while that’s still a better rate than 3-9, it makes the 3-9 stat look a lot less glaring, no?
Of course, one could argue that if the bye week is actually hurting NFL teams this year, the games played after a bye week shouldn’t be counted against the 12 teams in question. Still, if you take those three wins and nine losses out of their records, they’re a combined 25-34.
Think of it in terms of baseball, where we’re better at identifying randomness: If a 25-34 team went on a 3-9 stretch, would that seem at all notable?
Perhaps some of the factors Lombardi lists are negatively impacting NFL teams on bye weeks. But they’re also undoubtedly benefiting from the rest and the extra time allowing players to return from injuries. I would not hold the Jets’ bye week in Week 8 against their chances in Week 9.
Bold Flavors Snack of the Week
When I started rolling these out I intended for them to come Saturday as a suggestion for a snack to eat while watching football on Sunday. So this one’s late, by those standards. But be honest: Was there really any chance you’d have secured squab by Sunday if I put up the recipe on Saturday?
I doubt it. Squab is surprisingly hard to find given how delicious it is. More on the meat in a bit. Here we go — barbecued squab:
The photo is dark — the squab wasn’t really that badly charred. I chose to focus on eating the bird instead of lighting it appropriately.
You will need:
Squab
Salt
Pepper
Paprika
Olive Oil
Some sort of barbecue grill
Directions:
1. Have your awesome sister get you a whole thing of frozen exotic meats from Fossil Farms for Christmas. Plan to move on Nov. 1, and work toward eating the rest of the food in your fridge and freezer before you do. Find squab in freezer and be like, “hey, honey, you want to try squab tonight?” Thaw the squab.
2. Butterfly the squab and remove any giblets or other unappetizing items from the inside.
3. Brush olive oil over the squab, then lightly season it with salt, pepper and paprika. You could use more seasoning if you’d like, but from this angle it seems silly to overseason a meat you’ve never tried before. Especially, it turns out, this meat. You’re going to want to taste that.
3. Grill the squab over high heat, turning once, until it reaches an internal temperature around 130 degrees. It’s a small bird so it happens pretty quickly — I grilled mine for maybe 8 minutes, and as you can see it got a little charred on the outside.
4. Remove squab from grill using something other than your hands. That’s hot, fellas.
5. Eat it.
I have to be honest, I was not expecting this to be anywhere near as good as it was. Holy crap. It turns out squab, cooked medium-rare — and it’s apparently safe to cook squab medium-rare — tastes more like steak than it does chicken. It’s red meat, maybe a little more tender than most steak, and it comes in an appealing bird shape. My wife compared it to skirt steak, which was a pretty good call.
I know squab is a type of pigeon and I guess that freaks people out. But whatever, if we had chickens roaming our cities as pests I bet we’d be freaked out by eating chicken too. And I guess if you’re not getting it for a Christmas gift squab is pretty expensive. Seriously though, this is a really good meat. Start demanding it at restaurants and maybe we can get it on more menus.
Recapping Jets-Chargers with Brian Bassett
We’ve gone to plaid.
Lance Berkman is probably right
[Albert Pujols is] a better hitter than Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson and there’s no doubt about it. I’m dead serious. Babe Ruth, as great as he was, played in an all-white league. Now we have the best talent pool we’ve ever had and he’s doing it in that environment.
This is one of my favorite things to think about. Relative to their respective eras, Ruth was a far better hitter than Pujols. Ruth finished with a park- and league-adjusted 206 OPS+, by far the best of all time and 36 points above Pujols.
But like Berkman pointed out, Ruth faced a very limited talent pool. Also, he did so before nearly a century’s worth of advancements in training and instruction, and, you know, computers and stuff.
I’m reasonably certain that if Ruth somehow time-traveled from 1927 to 2011 and replaced Berkman in right field for the Cardinals, he’d prove a well inferior hitter to Pujols. Probably worse than Berkman too, especially if the time-travel mechanism is at all taxing or traumatic.
My question — and the best argument for human cloning, as far as I’m concerned — is: If Ruth were born today and raised with all the trappings of 21st century life, would he again become the best hitter in baseball? Would he again become the best hitter ever?
Get on it, science.

