Three things about Pete Incaviglia

1) Pete Incaviglia is the reason baseball players cannot be traded within one year of being drafted.

2) Somewhere in my parents’ basement, there’s a binder containing some 20 1987 Topps Pete Incaviglia rookie cards. My brother and I thought Pete Incaviglia was going to be totally sweet. He was, but not in the way that would make his rookie card valuable.

3) An old edition of Baseball Prospectus referred to Pete Incaviglia’s position as “Thunderstick of Yore.” I thought this was a particularly cool sounding phrase and tried to sell it on my then-band as a band name: The Thundersticks of Yore. We considered it, but played our only gig under the name “The Lewis Effect” at a festival in Pennsylvania called Ratstock, opening for the long-established Long Island blues-rock band The Good Rats. We sucked.

The tender Pelf

It seems like there’s a growing sentiment among Mets fans and media that the team could and/or should non-tender Mike Pelfrey this offseason, cutting him loose instead of paying him the $5 million or so he’d likely earn for 2012.

Pelfrey is enduring a down year in 2011. Most of his peripheral stats are similar to the ones he posted in his last three seasons, but he has allowed more home runs than he usually does and his park- and league-adjusted ERA+ is at 83, well below the league average. Pelfrey yields a lot of contact so fluctuations in his performance shouldn’t surprise anyone, but his groundball rate and average fastball velocity have been on a steady decline since the 2009 season.

That is the case for non-tendering Pelfrey. That and the nagging insistence that Pelfrey’s a head case. This year people — including his pitching coach — seem to have latched on to the notion that Pelfrey withered under the pressure of being named the staff’s ace. But let’s be honest: If it wasn’t that it would’ve been something else. The pressure of being a father. The pressure of being a Scott Boras client with free agency looming a few years away. The pressure of being extremely tall.

I suspect that Pelfrey’s supposed mental issues have been overdiagnosed because a) he is among the rare, brave professional athletes willing to speak candidly about his own mental health and b) he does all sorts of strange things with his mouth and tongue and hand on the mound, which don’t actually indicate much about the man except that he has one particular nervous habit, but provide armchair body-language experts all the fodder they need to start sizing Pelfrey up for a straightjacket.

Anyway, that’s all besides the point. Whether psychology actually affects Pelfrey’s pitching more than that of his peers is immaterial: The problem if it exists doesn’t appear to be more damning or more correctable than Pelfrey’s lack of a swing-and-miss pitch, unless, I guess, Pelfrey has some mental block against learning a swing-and-miss pitch. This can go on forever.

What we know for sure about Pelfrey, on paper, is that the sum total of his last four years of service to the Mets add up a slightly below league-average innings eater. He averaged 196 innings a season from 2007-2010 and will, barring injury, reach something near that total in 2011.

If the case to non-tender him is based on the red flags presented by the declining ground-ball rate and velocity, I guess I understand it, though I’d like to see how the rest of his season plays out. If it’s based on Pelfrey’s underwhelming season or mental weakness or whatever, I don’t buy it at all.

I recognize that the dude is frustrating to watch, but I’m not sure 200 innings — even slightly below league-average ones — are something that can be easily replaced for less than $5 million dollars if there’s no obvious candidate to promote from within. If the Mets had a ton of starting-pitching depth I could understand not wanting to spend that money on Pelfrey, but none of their pitching prospects seems likely to break camp with the 2012 club.

This isn’t a decision for today, naturally, and we’ll have a clearer picture of the offseason in the offseason. But they’re going to need someone to pitch, and Pelfrey’s practically guaranteed to do that — if not particularly well, then at least frequently.

 

Tigers hosting Zubazpalooza

Yesterday, Jered Weaver took exception to what he believed to be Magglio Ordonez admiring a home run hit down the line at Comerica Park. So a couple innings later, Carlos Guillen did this. Weaver got ejected after he threw the next pitch at Alex Avila’s head, but none of that matters now.

When I went to the Tigers’ website to pull up that Guillen homer, I found out that they’re hosting Zubazpalooza on Wednesday. For $23, you get a ticket to the Tigers’ game, entrance to a pre-game party, and a pair of Zubaz.

Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of a ballpark giving away pants before. It’s interesting, because it tacitly encourages fans to change their pants at a baseball game. I guess Zubaz are baggy enough that you could pull them on over whatever you’ve already got on, but that seems kind of steamy for the summer.

About that Shane Victorino picture

Remember earlier, when I said “There probably exists something equally goofy of Shane Victorino”? It turns out, the night of the Cole Hamels Roadhouse Photoshopping was 80’s night in Philadelphia. Here’s what they went with for Victorino:

What’s entertaining is that it’s even-money Victorino actually has that suit.

What’s disheartening is how awesome this one came out:

Hat tip to Seth and Kim again, and Theresa.

Rico Brogna lays it down

Barry Bonds in recent years has been a heated debate. Should he or shouldn’t he get in the HOF? And if the answer is yes, should Barry be a first ballot HOF? C’mon man! This guy was unbelievable, PED’s or whatever! There is one thing you need to ask yourself, “Is Barry Bonds and his performance on the field during his career worthy of HOF entry? As my son would say (he’s 8 years old), “Duh!” ‘Nuff said. Barry is simply one of the best to ever play this great game. No maybe, no but what about the help he might have gotten, and no, well, lets put him in but make him wait. I see clearly now, the powers that be are playing HOF God? C’mon man! If Barry is not an automatic, in any era, no matter what help he might have gotten, Hall of Fame baseball player, than I’m done with this Cooperstown thing.

Rico Brogna, CBS New York.

How ’bout Rico Brogna, huh? I knew I liked that guy.

Via Repoz.

Embarrassing Photoshop of Cole Hamels emerges

Seth tipped me off to this one, courtesy of his friend Kim, via, of all places, the Citizens Bank Park scoreboard:

This is obviously amazing on face, especially knowing that they’re actually putting this on the scoreboard at Phillies games, which implies: A) This is something the Phillies — or at least their scoreboard operators — expect the city of Philadelphia to rally behind and B) There probably exists something equally goofy of Shane Victorino.

If you look closely, you’ll notice that this is clearly the work of a master Photoshopper working off this promo image for the 1989 Patrick Swayze movie Roadhouse and not a staged Hamels re-enactment of said image. Our man Cole can’t boast guns like those or hair like that. Presumably the scoreboard gimmick seen here puts players’ faces on their film heroes, like something you’d pay 18 bucks for at an amusement park when you were 7.

Since the earliest days of the Embarrassing Photos of Cole Hamels archive, I have resisted the urge to include Photoshopped images of Hamels, mostly because there is no shortage of undoctored embarrassing photos of Hamels.

But I make the rules around here, and I have decided to make an exception in this case. For one thing, this particular Photoshop appears to be an officially sanctioned one. For another, I feel I should include it to shame Cole for opting to go with the movie choice Chase Utley convinced him would be cool and not the one he had in his heart: