Mike Pelfrey zombie face

As far as I’m concerned, Mike Pelfrey’s performance was the highlight of last night’s Mets-Pirates game.

Not the pitching part — though Big Pelf looked great, retiring 20 of the last 21 batters he faced, striking out six and walking none and keeping the Pirates in the park.

Nay, the best part of the game came in the third inning, when Pelfrey got something in his eye and SNY’s camera caught him making all sorts of hilarious zombie faces while trying to get it out.

I tried to photoshop this to make him look like a Walking Dead zombie, but it turns out the makeup department on that show gets all sorts of credit for a reason.

The upside to being a Major Leaguer is that you get millions of dollars to play baseball for a living. The downside is that if you get something in your eye, some jackass blogger posts your reaction on the Internet for everyone to see. I happen to make a very similar face every morning when I put my contacts in. My wife taunts me for it. Luckily there are no HD cameras in my bathroom. Or SD cameras, for that matter.

Hat tip to Michael Baron for the screengrab.

 

Carlos Beltran doing stuff

Whenever he receives a new box of bats, Carlos Beltran takes each bat out, holds it to his ear and raps it, gently but convincingly, with the base of his hand, his head cocked, one eye shut, concentrating like a virtuoso tuning his violin….

“The higher the pitch, the better,” he said, referring to the tone. “Better means stronger and harder, more compressed.”

David Waldstein, N.Y. Times.

Sandwich of the Week

Look: You don’t need to remind me that I’ve been remiss in my Sandwich of the Week duties the past couple of weeks.

I know.

I have been enduring something that could only be described as “sandwich writer’s block.” It is not for want of sandwiches recently eaten. There are plenty of those, I promise. Page through my iPhone photo gallery and you’ll find tons of grainy, haphazardly framed images of sandwiches that failed to inspire me. A cavalcade of uninspiring sandwiches.

It’s not that they weren’t good. Plenty of them were delicious.

It’s just — I don’t know how to say this… I think writing about sandwiches may have gotten into my head. I bite into my lunch and instead of thinking, “mmm delicious sandwich,” I think, “OK, how does this compare on my arbitrary numerical rating system to other sandwiches I’ve eaten?” And, “what can I write about this sandwich that I haven’t yet written about a dozen other sandwiches?”

How did this happen? It was supposed to be about the sandwiches.

Wait, let me rephrase that: It was supposed to be about me enjoying the sandwiches. That’s the main thing. Writing about that enjoyment is secondary. No offense.

That’s all a long-winded way of saying I don’t think I can promise Sandwich of the Week weekly anymore. I wouldn’t feel the need to bother explaining except whenever I do any sort of survey, it turns out that it’s a popular feature.

I will still review sandwiches — and indeed, still call them “Sandwich of the Week.”  But since it has gotten to the point that I’m looking for sandwiches that might be interesting to write about instead of sandwiches I think will be delicious, it’s probably time to dial back.

Cracking under the pressure. Totally unclutch.

Anyway, just because they won’t come every week anymore doesn’t mean there won’t be plenty of sandwich talk here. Maybe some weeks there’ll be two. Who knows? And I’d still very much appreciate your sandwich recommendations.

The sandwich: The Serrano from Bierkraft, 5th Avenue and Berkeley Pl., Brooklyn.

The construction: Serrano ham, manchego cheese, arugula, fig jam, sherry vinegar and olive oil on a ciabatta hero.

Important background information: I probably went into Bierkraft about 20 times when I lived in the area, usually to get fancy beer for my father. I had no idea they even made sandwiches until multiple people started recommending them to me after I moved. C’mon people, get your timing right.

Also, I confess I ordered the Serrano because I thought it would be more interesting to write about than the more traditional-seeming Italian hero on the menu, the direction I normally would have gone. Pitiful.

What it looks like:

How it tastes: Most notably, like fig jam.

There are a lot of strong flavors on here, right: Serrano ham is like the Spanish version of prosciutto, so I expected saltiness from that, and the earthiness of manchego cheese and tartness from the vinegar.

Eventually, all those flavors sort of showed up, but none matched the fig jam in strength or persistence. Man… did this sandwich-maker just have a heavy hand with the fig jam, or is this really strong fig jam?

Maybe now is a good time to mention that I don’t much care for figs, which might trivialize my opinions on this sandwich. My wife loves ’em, and she loved the half of this sandwich I saved for her. I find them a little too goopy sweet unless they’re in delicious Newton form.

Still, I don’t exactly hate them, and I figured a nice hint of sweetness from fig jam might nicely complement an otherwise salty and tart sandwich. And at points, it did — there were bites of this sandwich that were great, when the flavors of the ham and cheese and fig came together as something special. But too often all I tasted was fig jam. I never really tasted the vinegar, incidentally.

The bread, I should note, was awesome. Really hearty stuff, itself a meal.

What it’s worth: $10, but it comes with Zapp’s chips, which are awesome.

How it rates: 74 out of 100, but it’s probably better if you like figs and you’re not mired in a sandwich-writing slump. The quality of the ingredients at Bierkraft was good enough that I’ll have to give it another go now that I’ve sorted all this out and can just order the Italian one.

How big is your hot-sauce stash?

Matt Cerrone passes along this awesome graphic detailing fast-food habits among American men. One quibble: Why is there no step between “Fit” and “Heavy”? What are you trying to tell me? Also, if you’re wondering, I believe I have between one and five Taco Bell sauce packets at home. I try not to take more than I need, and since there’s a bottle of taco sauce in the fridge for when we make tacos, I don’t really have any reason to stock up.

Mets just want the game scored correctly, is all

The Mets contacted Major League Baseball’s central offices in Manhattan after Saturday’s game, requesting a review of Andrew McCutchen’s third-inning “hit” in a 3-2 loss to the Pirates, a league source told the Daily News.

The team wants the ruling changed to an error, which would deduct two earned runs from R.A. Dickey’s line. The process will not likely be resolved until mid-week.

Andy Martino, N.Y. Daily News.

Wait: Why?

I thought it should have been an error, sure, but it was hardly the most egregious official-scoring decision I’ve seen. And it’s not like changing the ruling is going to change the outcome of the game. Someone must really care about R.A. Dickey’s ERA.


You follow drugs, you get drug addicts and drug dealers. But you start to follow the money, and you get league-average innings-eaters

Livan Hernandez is all caught up in some The Wire-type stuff. Yikes. (I say “The Wire-type stuff” because I’m in the process of re-watching The Wire, so right now everything about any large-scale drug operation and investigation is going to remind me of The Wire.) Sounds like he was mostly fronting money for a huge Puerto Rican drug-trafficking operation. Also, if you bet that this story would involve meetings at Chuck E. Cheese’s that did not include Livan Hernandez, you stand to make a lot of money right about now.

The Wright move?

Since Reyes is having an MVP-like year, I started thinking about the future makeup of the team. Nowadays, scoring is down and pitching is once again king. I believe that the Mets should keep Reyes and make him the centerpiece of the franchise. Build the Mets like the way the old Cardinals of the 1980s – pitching, defense and speed. Trade David Wright to get either pitching or position players who fits the mold. Build the team to take advantage of Citi Field’s dimensions. You probably need just one very good slugger to complement the offense. What do you think about this idea?

Willie, via email.

Well here’s the first part: I’m still not convinced the Mets need to choose between David Wright and Jose Reyes. So if you’re suggesting the Mets trade David Wright to clear salary to re-sign Reyes, I’m not sure it’s necessary. If you’re saying trade David Wright for pitching and/or players who fit a certain mold, to that I’d say this:

There are many ways to construct winning baseball teams. Certainly offense is down around baseball, but I’m not sure that means teams should go about trading good offensive players — in fact, it might mean exactly the opposite. If runs are at a premium, so are the players who produce them, no?

Right now, our perception of David Wright is tainted by his rough start to the year. Though logically we know how good Wright can be, our most recent memories of Wright show an injured, struggling player, so it’s easy to start hammering out trade proposals dispatching the third baseman.

But with Wright hurt and coming off the two worst seasons of his career, his value has likely never been lower. Plus, the team option on Wright’s contract for 2013 belongs solely to the Mets, meaning any potential trade partner would only have Wright locked up through 2012.

That makes Wright way more valuable to the Mets than to any other team. In other words, it seems unlikely that any competing club will offer the Mets enough for one year of Wright for it to be worth them giving up two years of Wright.

As for building a club to the park: I’m on the (very deep, asymmetric) fence. What’s the best way to tailor a team to Citi Field? Certainly you want good defenders in the spacious outfield.

Beyond that, what do you do? Do you stock up on pitching, or do you amount that opponents aren’t going to score many runs against you and focus on finding players that will produce in a tough run-scoring environment? Do you look for fly-ball pitchers? If so, what about all those road games they’ll have to pitch? Do you entirely eschew the home run, find line-drive hitters with speed and hope for rallies, or do you seek dead-pull sluggers since it appears the park is a bit more favorable to them? How many of these assessments do you base on eyeball estimations, and how many on data? And which data?

There’s a lot to it, and if I had to bet, I’d imagine when you work it all out it’s going to turn out that you want to put the best nine players you can find on the field. And I find it difficult to envision many scenarios in which Wright is not among the best nine players the Mets can find. I get that some of the crannies of Citi Field’s fence don’t suit his opposite-field power and that many believe the park has gotten into his head, but Wright — even the lesser Wright we watched in 2009 and 2010 — is still really, really good at baseball.

And from 2005-2008, Wright was a full-blown superstar. The troubles he has endured the past few seasons have been for the most part more nebulous than the ones Jose Reyes faced in 2009 and 2010. But in Reyes we now see a pitch-perfect example of how quickly and how emphatically a talented player in his late 20s can turn things around, given full health and the right situation.

Wright can do the same. It’s going to take more than a big park and a couple of rough years to convince me otherwise.

Goodbye, Dale Thayer’s mustache

After Saturday night’s game, the Mets cut reliever Dale Thayer and with him, his amazing mustache.

Thayer’s mustache appeared in four games for the Mets. The mustache defied both description and the telephoto lenses of any AP cameramen covering those games.

Thayer will head to Buffalo, but where the mustache goes from here is anyone’s guess. Perhaps it catches on above another Major League lip or takes time off to travel.

Or maybe Dale Thayer’s mustache retires into the sunset, remembered only in Flushing folklore and a couple of screengrabs.