Whatever

Excuse me for not caring much one way or the other that Terry Collins named Mike Pelfrey his Opening Day starter, something that sparked at least a little bit of bluster in the blog- and Twitter-sphere yesterday.

I suppose, yes, it’s early to do so, but then pitchers are creatures of schedule and they’ll need to start mapping out the Spring Training rotation to line up with the regular season soon enough.

And Pelfrey is at the very least the most proven of the starters likely to be in the Mets’ rotation, since R.A. Dickey and Jon Niese have only a year apiece of Major League success and Chris Capuano and Chris Young are coming off injury. I don’t think anyone’s expecting to pitch like Johan Santana just because he’s technically the No. 1 guy in the Mets’ rotation.

Again, like so many annoying arguments in baseball analysis, it comes down to silly and meaningless labels. Pelfrey shouldn’t be handed the Opening Day starter’s job because that’s for True No. 1s and Pelfrey is not a True No. 1. What is that? As long as he’s healthy coming out of Spring Training, he’s going to be in the rotation, right? So what difference does it make if he starts Friday, April 1 or Sunday, April 3?

Jerry Manuel would say — and did a bunch of times last year — that because of schedules the No. 1 pitcher will often match up with the opponent’s best. Problem is, that’s not really true.

The Mets’ Opening Day starter last year, Johan Santana, matched up with opponents’ Opening Day starters eight times in 29 starts in 2010. Take out Opening Day — when it is inevitable — and it happened once in every four of his starts. And one of them was Vicente Padilla and another was Zach Duke.

You’re hardly condemning Pelfrey to run a gauntlet of Hall of Famers by starting him on Opening Day. And it’s not like they have any pitcher that’s obviously better suited than Pelfrey to run a gauntlet of Hall of Famers anyway.

If the Mets are going to compete in 2011, it’s very likely they’ll have to do so with depth in the rotation but without a brand-name capital-letter True Ace Starter, at least not before Johan Santana returns from surgery. And since Pelfrey has proven himself durable and capable of pitching deep into games, he’s as good a choice as any to pitch the opener.

They’re all gonna laugh at you

I missed the original viral video, but if I hadn’t I’d be even happier that I laughed now that I know the woman has no sense of humor about herself. Honestly, lady: The security guards obviously knew you were OK because you popped right up and walked away.

Look, every now and then we all fall down. But unless you’re seriously injured, the best way to play it is to own it. Yeah, I wiped out, I think it’s funny too, now let’s all have a chuckle and continue with our days.

Hat tip to James K. for the link.

Now this

It’s a loophole for the athlete – turning drug tests into intelligence tests. You have to be stupid to fail one. The benefits of deer antler – or more specifically the substance IGF-1 that comes from it – are clear. IGF-1 is banned by everyone.

“It’s one of the proteins that is increased in human growth hormone … it’s considered performance-enhancing,” Danaceau said.

“It’s similar to HGH in that it aids in recovery. It helps build tissue, and strengthen tissue – more than you can ever do by training alone. Any preparation that is not naturally occurring is banned. Taking IGF-1 through deer antler is banned as well.”

Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! sports.

This story comes via Craig Calcaterra: Apparently pro athletes are spraying freeze-dried ground-up liquefied deer antlers into their mouths as a performance enhancer. And some lab director who works with the World Anti-Doping Agency is certain that this is bad.

I have many questions.

First of all, who the f@#$ thought to grind up deer antlers and turn the powder into mouth spray to be sold to professional athletes for $68 a bottle? Damn. That’s a living if I’ve ever heard of one.

Second, before we go about banning it and getting all sanctimonious, do we even know it works? I mean, are any international anti-doping agencies investigating the use of those silly Phiten necklaces?

(Hey, everyone: I’ve got an amazing new diet potion for you. It’s crystal clear and it tastes just like water, but if you combine it with an exercise regimen and a strict, low-calorie diet I guarantee you will lose weight! And now it can be yours for only $10 a bottle. Call me!)

And even if spraying ground-up liquefied deer antler into your mouth really does help you recover faster from injuries, why exactly should that be illegal? By Danaceau’s definition, it’s because it’s “not naturally occurring.” But are 3,000-calorie protein shakes “naturally occurring”? Vitamin pills? Tommy John surgery?

I guess the point is, if there’s no evidence that something is dangerous or even at all effective, I don’t understand why we assume it’s bad. Plus, athletes are perpetually going to be one step ahead of the testing.

Yes, it’s important for sports’ governing bodies to enforce restrictions on drugs — or anything, really — that endanger their athletes. But those efforts would probably be a lot more effective if they educated their athletes about exactly how the products jeopardize their health, and if there’s no evidence that they do, then I don’t understand what’s exactly wrong with them.

More Yankee weirdness

It’s not my team. I don’t own it. They do. I’m a big boy. . . . In any job you better be prepared for every decision to not go your way. That’s part of being an employee. There were internal debates and discussions on it and disagreements in terms of how you should proceed, and ultimately Hal’s in charge of making the final call in what he feels is the best direction at that time frame. He made that call. This is Hal Steinbrenner’s and his family’s franchise. It’s not mine and it’s never been, obviously.

I’m in charge of making recommendations, and there’s a chain of command that certainly was followed. But this is not something that was done without me being aware of it. I had my say.

Brian Cashman, on the Rafael Soriano signing.

Beyond the obvious comparison to be made with the Mets — with all the hand-wringing over meddling ownership — this is just straight-up weird.

I’ve certainly heard it suggested before that a team’s owner has overruled the GM in contract negotiations (Vernon Wells in Toronto and Eric Byrnes in Arizona come to mind), but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a GM explicitly say he didn’t advocate a deal.

Maybe Cashman’s just being completely forthright here, since he does have a habit of letting certain would-be private details spill out into the press. But I wonder why he’d be so eager to distance himself from the contract, even if it is one that would be irresponsible if signed by any of the 29 teams with finite resources.

If I resist speculating about the Mets’ internal politics without concrete evidence, I should extend the Yankees the same courtesy. But certainly this suggests that Cashman is not operating with the autonomy I previously assumed he had been since George Steinbrenner’s health started failing.

Prince is awesome

I saw Prince last night at the Garden. There’s a lengthier recap here, but here’s what you need to know:

Prince is awesome. He dances like Michael Jackson with the showmanship of James Brown and the guitar playing ability of, I don’t know, Slash maybe. It’s crazy. If you have an opportunity to see Prince, see Prince.