Hard Knocks that don’t involve K-Rod

I caught the first episode of Hard Knocks on HBO last night. I had never seen the show before so I didn’t know what to expect.

It was pretty cool. Mostly it made me miss playing and coaching football, thanks to all the dramatized slow-motion footage of the Jets’ drills and everything. Football camp was actually damn near torturous, but the show glorified it thoroughly enough to color my memories.

I am skeptical about whether the players, coaches and executives really behave on camera the same way they would off camera. In fact, I am almost certain they don’t. I have no doubt that Rex Ryan is both literally and figuratively larger than life when the cameras aren’t rolling, but no one acts the same when they know it’s being documented and broadcast. Reality TV is anything but. This is Rex Ryan’s best Rex Ryan performance, and he does a pretty good job of it.

Mike Tannenbaum, on the other hand, is brutal to watch. First off, I had no idea the dude was so emo. The whole conversation he had with Woody Johnson about how Darrelle Revis’ agent was also a human being who went home to his wife? Ugh. Plus the scene had the dramatic timing of continental drift. Show me football, please.

When Hard Knocks did that, it was sweet. The NFL Films-style footage looked great in HD and the sound was incredible — it’s awesome to hear the uncensored antics of players in games and on sidelines.

Predictably, the show dramatized the Revis thing and a couple of rookies getting cut — a part rendered even sadder because you knew these poor kids had to suffer an awful life moment on camera.

Most of the real, relevant football insight that could be gleaned from the show focused on rookie fullback John Conner. Turns out Tannenbaum gives Ryan one draft pick that’s all his, and Conner was Ryan’s choice this year. Ryan said he was watching film of linebackers when he spotted Conner leveling dudes for Kentucky and fell for him. Apparently Conner looks impressive early in camp and even knocked Calvin Pace around a bit.

Also, and most importantly, his name is John Conner and he is nicknamed “The Terminator” (even though, of course, John Connor was not the Terminator. Calling a fullback “Edward Furlong” would probably be a whole lot less intimidating).

Anyway, probably worth checking out the show. Made me really psyched for football season, especially since it immediately followed that brutal, brutal Mets game.

Apparently that happened

It was not immediately clear what sparked the fight between the 28-year-old relief pitcher and his 53-year-old father-in-law, police said.

Moments before the explosion with his family, Rodriguez snapped at reporters who asked why he was not summoned to pitch in a bases loaded situation in the eighth inning.

“Did I f—–g pitch tonight?” Rodriguez snarled when asked if he was upset that manager Jerry Manuel did not ask him to protect a one-run lead. “Why do I have to talk to you f—–g guys?”

Kristie Ackert and Jonathan Lemire, N.Y. Daily News.

Oh lord. So looks like the 2010 Mets season finally turned to full-blown absurdity last night, prompted perhaps by Jerry Manuel’s downright surreal bullpen management.

Obviously I don’t know what happened in the family room, so I’m not here to making sweeping moral statements about K-Rod beating up his father-in-law. I’ll leave “appalling” and “abominable” to the Daily News, though I’ll admit that it’s pretty hard to come up with a good reason for a 28-year-old professional athlete to be fighting a guy 30 years his senior.

I imagine we’re going to hear a whole, whole lot more about this, so I’ll reserve judgment until some more of the details come out.

The only thing I’m certain of is that Manny Acosta shouldn’t have been in that game last night. If you’re so desperate to have a set “eighth-inning guy” that you need to take a decent starter out of the rotation to anoint him the eighth-inning guy, then holy lord, let him pitch the eighth inning. You’ve got to give him some margin for error. Takahashi allowed two baserunners, yes, but it wasn’t like they both crushed the ball. And if he’s the elusive eighth-inning guy you’ve been searching for all season, he should be good enough to pitch out of a jam. Maybe guys are relinquishing that role so quickly because they know they’ll be yanked from it as soon as they fail the first time and are pitching tentatively.

Anyway, the small upside to the K-Rod thing is that probably no one will say the Mets are too nice anymore.

Ask Bob Ojeda stuff

Bob Ojeda’s doing another third-inning live chat tonight. Check it out, and hey — maybe even ask him a question about pitching, or having been a professional baseball player, or the 1986 Mets, or his favorite foods, or anything at all besides what trades he thinks the Mets will/should make. Please, for the sake of the moderator’s sanity. 

But what about the robots?

Still, Taylor was back on the field Tuesday (he took part in some of the drills) and says he’s physically ready to be a critical part of the Jets much-acclaimed defense under second-year head coach Rex Ryan.

“The buzzword around here is swagger,” he said. “I think I’ve always had that. He is confident and he should be.”

Sam Borden, SNY.tv.

Nice feature from Sam about Jason Taylor working to fit into his new team, which I’m pretty much over now. I never liked Taylor, but I never liked him because he was an outspoken Dolphin and a very good player. It’s much different from how I never liked Brett Favre, whom I never liked because I hated the way he played football, even if he was decent at it.

Anyway that quote made me realize that the Jets have basically become a team full of Jason Taylors — in terms of attitude, at least. That’s the type of thing you absolutely love if you’re rooting for the team but can’t stand if you’re a fan of any other team in the league. And that’s cool. Obviously I’m hoping — and almost believing — the Jets can back it up and maintain the reputation instead of disappointing everyone and becoming a laughingstock again.

And the other thing is, if the Jets are going to become a team full of Jason Taylors, someone should make with the robot likenesses.

I’ve long held that Dr. Dre is the most underrated — and perhaps the best — popular musician of the last 20 years. Not for his solo work so much as his producing. Too bad we’ll probably have to wait a decade for his Planets symphony.

(Smirks in anticipation of inevitable Bueller comments)

I found out yesterday that I’m going to Chicago on Labor Day weekend to watch and write about the Mets, and also probably eat a bunch of sandwiches.

If you’re in or near Chicago, you should come hang out. Matt Cerrone is going to put together some sort of party, so join me there as I make so many Blues Brothers references they grow intolerable then poke fun at whichever of Cerrone’s numerous bizarre traveling whims has come up in the last day or so.

If you’re not in or near Chicago, the Mets are offering a package that includes tickets and accommodations.

Obviously Wrigley is awesome and I love Chicago, plus the trip should mean different and hopefully interesting content for this blog.

I haven’t figured out exactly what that means yet, but I’m certain it will involve eating. I know about the fake-ass “pizza” they serve up there, and I recognize that it’s pretty good even if it’s not what pizza should be like, so I’ll probably have some of that.

And I know it’s a sausage town, plus I’m certain to go back to the Billygoat Tavern, both because they serve good burgers and because it’s on Lower Wacker, which cracks me up.

But what I’m really excited about — and what I didn’t know existed the last time I was in the Second City — is the breaded steak sandwich. Look at that thing.

If you know any other Chicago-area delicacies, please let me know. I’m not sure how much food I’ll be able to cram in my face in three days, but hey, when in Rome.