Mets add tons of International League experience

In addition to rolling out Jason Bay today, the Mets announced that they signed Russ Adams, Mike Cervenak and Mike Hessman to Minor League contracts and invited them to Spring Training, according to a press release that I actually got during the Bay news conference.

Hessman’s name, I believe, surfaced earlier this offseason. I hadn’t heard Adams’ or Cervenak’s thus far this year, but maybe I wasn’t listening closely enough, or something.

Hessman is a big, right-handed three-true-outcomes masher in the Val Pascucci mold, only probably not as good a hitter as Pascucci. Adams was actually the Blue Jays’ starting shortstop in 2005 but has been mostly a Triple-A second baseman for the past three seasons, and Cervenak could probably best be described as the Ty Wigginton of the International League.

What’s most interesting about the three acquisitions, I think, is that all three bring lengthy International League resumes to their (presumed) new club in Buffalo.

Check this out: In the past three years, Cervenak has played a total of 374 games in the International League. In the past four, Adams has played 404 games in the International League. And over the past eight years — eight seasons — Hessman has played 899 games in the International League.

That means that today, the Mets added 1677 games of International League experience.

I imagine this is part of that whole “do better by the city of Buffalo” effort they spoke to last summer, when the Bisons (yeah, it’s plural) were trotting out one of the most embarrassing clubs imaginable. And pretty clearly the Mets have determined that the city of Buffalo wants to see familiar International League heroes prowling Coca-Cola Field.

I mean, far be it for me to understand the mind of the Triple-A fan. But hey, Buffalo: I hope you like Mike Hessman, because that’s what you’re getting.

Does anyone have a free car to give me?

You know what? Living in Brooklyn was the balls. There was a ton of cool stuff around, and you could walk to all of it. Plus you could walk to the subway, and from there, you could walk to all sorts of other cool stuff.

In the suburbs, up in Westchester, no matter where you go, the first stop is your car. Out the door, to the car.

And so your car becomes like a weird extension of your body, kind of how I imagine a turtle feels about its shell. And you start keeping stuff in the car that you know you’re going to need when you’re outside of your home, because anytime you’re outside of your home you’re going to have your car. That’s suburban living.

Some parts of it are good. With my car, I can get to Taco Bell and 7-11, and they don’t have those things in Brooklyn. Those places are awesome because they have Volcano Tacos and Slurpees. I missed them so. Plus, like I said, I can use my car for storage, so I don’t have to carry around a backpack or a manbag or anything like that.

But a car is also a giant, resource-sucking pain in the ass, especially when things start going wrong. Matt Cerrone pointed out to me not too long ago that a car is basically the only major investment we ever make that starts losing value as soon as we buy it, but at least the first couple of years are fun.

My current car is pretty clearly hitting the breaking point at which all the little minor repairs required for its upkeep start adding up to more than the value of the car itself, and at some time soon it will no longer be worth spending any more money on.

I realize I should probably suck it up and invest in a new or newer car, but I, like the Mets, tend to hang on to my things for too long, trying to coax every last bit of value out of it before I move on. So I’m driving around in the Luis Castillo of automobiles, thinking, “oh, but it got me to DC and back just fine a month ago, it’s got to be good for at least another road trip, even if all the red flags are there.”

Is cash for clunkers still going on? Did I just miss that? Crap. If anyone has any suggestions for a good, inexpensive car, I’m all ears. I’m still trying to figure out how to make a Segway work for Westchester, but those things are unreasonably expensive, even if they’re also completely hilarious.

The Jason Bay article you must read

If you only read one article about Jason Bay, ever, let it be this one, by Mark Herrmann in Newsday. And if you can’t use your one free Newsday article per day or figure out a way around Newsday’s paywall to read this, I feel for you. It’s so amazing and Canadian.

Herrmann catches up with former Islander Ray Ferraro, who used to hang out with Bay’s mother’s sister in tiny Trail, British Columbia. Check it out:

Folks in Trail realize the value of earning your way. It is an earnest hardscrabble village less than 10 miles north of the U.S. border. People think nothing of working seven days a week in a family owned cement plant, as Ferraro’s father did. Or working at Teck Cominco, a zinc smelting firm that also handled gold mining. That is where Bay’s father Dave worked.

Readers of this blog know I usually have little patience for praise lavished upon players for their “blue-collar” mentalities, which is exactly what this piece does for Bay.

But what separates Bay from Alex Cora is the actual ability to play baseball, so that’s good, plus — and this must not be understated — once the verb “smelting” comes in to play, all bets are off. His father is a zinc smelter? That’s badass.

Jason Bay: Officially a blue-collar, badass, hockey-loving Canadian who’d probably be smelting zinc if he wasn’t playing Major League Baseball.

Items of note

Minor rumors are swirling of a Luis Castillo for Mike Lowell deal. What I want to know is this: Better ESPN mustache — Jerry Crasnick or Jayson Stark in his heyday?

Aditi posts some pretty awesome off-field video at the Big East Sports Blog. The only problem with back handsprings is that I’m not sure they necessarily make you a good football player. I’m sure Vernon Gholston can do plenty of ’em.

Howard’s got a nice piece about the nature of Mets fandom, and the recent trend toward blanket negativity.

The Indians have signed Shelley Duncan, ruining my plan to have the Mets unite pitching coach Dave Duncan with the army of meatheaded sluggers he sired.

The Jets, the Mets, and the perpetually doomed

I wrote a joke for The Nooner last week about how the Jets’ path to the playoffs would be made easier by the fact that the Bengals had nothing to play for on Sunday, but made more difficult by the fact that they are the Jets and are perpetually doomed to finish 8-8.

I didn’t think it was all that funny, but I thought about it later that day when I read a column by Mike Vaccaro in the Post detailing the intersection between fans of the Jets and Mets and how it always seems to end poorly for those fans.

And I am, of course, one of those fans.

The problem is, I don’t believe there’s any sort of ingrained or inherent problem in either club that can’t be explained away by some bad luck and some bad management. Because while I know teams can be crappy, I don’t know teams can be cursed.

So I wanted to write a column in response, something redeeming about free will and my whole spiel about how no professional athlete could ever really be a loser, and about how I could remember a time when the Red Sox — the big, bad, well-run, two World Series in the last six years Red Sox — were the perpetual suckers.

It was going to say how the aughts were just a bad decade for Mets and Jets fans like me, but that there was no reason at all, save further mismanagement, the teens couldn’t be a great one. I was going to write how any talk of a hex was just mumbo jumbo — all in our heads.

But when I sat down to write it, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to jinx the Jets.

I guess that’s the whole thing about being a fan. No matter how rationally you try to think things out, no matter how sensibly you attempt to approach a sport, there’s always going to some part of you operating completely devoid of logic.

There almost has to be; otherwise, it’d be impossible to care so passionately about some group of men you don’t know getting paid tons of money to compete against some other group of men you don’t know.

I want to believe that I don’t believe in jinxes and curses and cultures of losing. But somewhere deep down, I have no idea what I really think. Maybe I’m afraid to admit I’m not as rational as I hope I am, or maybe I’m just profoundly confused.

I know I feel as confident in this Jets team as I have in any in recent memory, but I also know that if someone asked me to put down money on the Jets’ chances of beating the Bengals for a second straight week, I’d hem and haw and balk and eventually walk away.

So what’s the grand conclusion? I’ve got none.

I’m rooting for the Jets and hoping they’ll win on Saturday. Having watched a whole lot of the NFL this season, I know they can. And I don’t actually think there’s any culture around the team — or any team — that should prevent it from happening; I only fear, in some tiny corner of my soul, that there could be.

J, E, T, S.

Brian Bassett, by telephone. The bags under my eyes are from being too excited to sleep, thanks to the Jets. I have a lot of growing up to do:

From the Wikipedia: Globster

I’m not going to lie: Today’s “From the Wikipedia” does indeed stem from a chain of Wikipedia links related to Rex Ryan’s Gatorade shower last night.

From the Wikipedia: Globster.

Before today, I had never heard of Globster. This is odd and somewhat troubling, as I consider myself an amateur expert in cryptozoology. Anyway, globster is the term given to any unidentified mass of organic material that washes up on the ocean shore, usually leading to wild and hilarious speculation.

Usually, it turns out, globsters are leftover adipose tissue from dead sperm whales, as was the case with the Chilean Blob of 2003, the Nantucket Blob of 1996, and Bermuda Blobs 2 and 3 in 1995 and 1997, but oddly not the original Bermuda Blob — that was a dead shark.

In rare instances, though, as in both the original Tasmanian Globster and Tasmanian Globster 2: Revenge Of Tasmanian Globster, the globster appears to have organs or flippers or tusk-like protuberances and could be more than just the remains of some massive dead sea creature we already know about; it could be the remains of some massive dead sea creature we don’t even really know about yet.

Like the Stronsay Beast. That do anything for you? No? Maybe a gigantic octopus then. Or Trunko.

They all could be out there, in the sea, just begging for us to study them and hopefully domesticate them in some way we haven’t figured out yet. And then they wash up dead on shore, and people are just like, oh hey, it’s just another globster, probably just some adipose tissue from another dead sperm whale.

But what if those are the keys to unlocking the mysteries of the deep, and we’re just dismissing them as more dead whale fat? Maybe if we could come up with a name less silly than “globster,” we’d take them a little more seriously.

Fun with baseball-reference comps

I’ve already said my piece about Daniel Murphy this offseason, but I did that — I think — before his list of most similar batters through Age 24 on baseball-reference came out. So I figured I’d take a look at those and consider Murph’s future once more.

With some of these guys, it’s hard to tell exactly why baseball-reference deemed them reasonable comps — especially 1880s stud Harry Stovey. But I am not here to doubt baseball-reference.

Lee May — the top comp — had a season pretty similar to Murphy’s as a 24-year-old in 1967, then busted out to hit 162 home runs and post a 130 OPS+ over the next five seasons. Never did walk much, but I imagine Mets fans would sign up pretty quickly for that type of production from Murphy.

Bob Chance tallied 106 more at-bats in his career. Adam Lind broke out with 35 home runs for the Blue Jays as a 25-year-old last year. Stovey retired as the all-time leader in homers and stolen bases in 1893. Jeffrey Hammonds had a couple of nice seasons, but could never stay healthy for a full one. Norm Siebern took a step back at age 25 then earned three All-Star nods in the early 1960s.

Conor Jackson followed his decent but unspectacular Age-24 season with similar ones at 25 and 26 before falling victim to valley fever in 2009. Jack Fournier spent the rest of his career mashing in one league or another. Reid Nichols most decidedly did not.

What do these men have in common other than presence on Murph’s most similar list? Not much. Through roughly 600-700 plate appearances through age 24, they had all managed to not embarrass themselves as Major Leaguers, and that’s really it. Stovey, Fournier, and to a lesser extent Siebern and Ross had distinguished themselves by that age, and so probably are not the best comps for Murphy.

As for the rest? Well, no one could tell what the future held for them when they were only 24. And so it is for Murphy. Sure, May and Lind had better histories of Minor League production, but Murphy’s got that businesslike persona and disciplined approach everyone seems to like so much.

Based on the baseball-reference comps alone, eliminating the four guys that don’t seem right, I’d say there’s a 33 percent chance Murphy becomes a legitimate slugger, a 33 percent chance he really contributes anything, a 16.67 percent chance he becomes a decent but injury prone player, and a 16.67 percent chance he has two more decent seasons then succumbs to valley fever.

Of course, it doesn’t really work like that. The point is that, while it might seem easy to judge a player on his first 707 plate appearances, it’s just not.

I’m not certain Murphy is the answer moving forward for the Mets at first base, but since he’s young, inexpensive, and appears able with the glove, he should be given the chance to play himself out of the position in 2010. A right-handed hitting complement like Ryan Garko would be a nice acquisition, but Murph is too young to be given up on entirely.

Rex Ryan speaks!

Doin’ my duty:

SNY will air Rex Ryan’s news conference live at 4 p.m. The conference will re-air at 6:30 p.m. as part of SNY’s Jets Open Mic.

Rex Ryan usually says interesting things, and the Jets are in an interesting position, so it should be interesting. Watch and enjoy.

Hopefully he doesn’t have a cold from the Gatorade bath he got last night with the Jets ahead 37 points late in the fourth quarter. I know it’s tradition and all, but that seemed a bit cruel, given the five-degree wind chill.

Items of note

I didn’t sleep at all last night because I was so geared up about the Jets. Everything is wonderful and nothing hurts. The Jets are in the playoffs. Oh, happy day.

Jason Bay and I have something in common: We both stole wiffleball equipment from our colleges. Wiffleball and baseball require different skill sets, but I’ll go out on a limb and guess he’s a much better wiffleball player than me. They’re not completely different skill sets, after all.

The way I see it, Ben Sheets offers by far the most upside of the pitchers left on the market. The Mets need innings, too, but the more I think about it, the more I’d lean toward Sheets among Sheets, Joel Pineiro and Jon Garland, given their reported demands.

Danilo Gallinari’s dunk? Cool. Post-dunk pose got lost in translation, though.