Lots of baseball fans who are not Nationals fans (so: most baseball fans) already hate 19-year-old Bryce Harper for a bunch of the silly things he has said and done as a teenager, which is silly because teenagers should never really be held accountable for the silly things they say and do if they’re ultimately as innocuous as the silly things Harper has said and done.

But I do hope Harper turns into the great baseball heel he appears destined to become. Here’s what I wrote last year:

Take the low road, Bryce Harper. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, by blowing that kiss to that pitcher, Harper flipped over the end of the spectrum from intolerable entitled brat to completely lovable heel. Remember that this is the kid who grew up rooting for the Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys and Dukeand who, when asked to describe himself in one word, first considered “gorgeous” then settled on “Hercules.” This is a Shooter McGavin in the making.

And yeah, you know and I know that he’s just a kid and that kids do and say stupid kid things all the time like we did when we were kids, but at this point — with the hype and the money and the expectations and the eye-black and everything — there’s pretty much nothing Harper can do that will endear him in the eyes of baseball fans outside of DC by the time he reaches the Majors, if and when that happens.

Obviously the big drawback is the beanballs, which will likely only pick up as Harper advances and will probably serve to tone down his act a bit in the long run. But make ‘em teach you, Bryce. Admire your moonshots. Maintain that godawful mustache. And maybe armor up a bit. The baseball world needs bad guys, and due to your unique situation, the crosshairs have apparently settled on you. Smile back and blow a kiss. Here’s hoping you make the bigs in time to have A-Rod pass you the torch.

All that still holds. The pesky thing about Harper, though, is that he still hasn’t hit much above A-ball. It’s a small sample, but he posted a .256/.329/.395 line in 37 games at Double-A last year and a .250/.333/.375 mark in his first 20 games at Triple-A this year. He’s young and purportedly talented enough that it seems a safe bet he’ll be good eventually, but it doesn’t seem likely he’ll do much to help the Nationals in 2012.

Check this out: In the history of baseball, only 10 teenagers have ever proved better than league-average hitters in any season in which they’ve had over 200 plate appearances. Only two have done so in the last 30 years: Ken Griffey Jr., whose Minor League stats trumped Harper’s, and Edgar Renteria, who had a full season of Double-A ball under his belt and who wasn’t again a better-than-league-average hitter until he was 25.

The Class A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins is running a promotion in which fans can win a free ticket to a future game if they can top Moyer’s 78 miles-an-hour on the radar gun. On the first day of the promotion last week, about 85 fans tried. None succeeded.

– Mike Dodd, USA Today.

Aaron Gleeman brought this up last week, which prompted some pretty funny Twitter exchanges and then a conversation on the podcast: What percentage of adult males between 20 and 60 can throw 80 miles per hour or above? Because, as Gleeman noted, lots of people react to news of Moyer getting Major League hitters out with 78 mph gas with comments like, “Hell, I can throw that hard.” But truth is you probably can’t.

I’ve been playing baseball in Brooklyn for almost six years now. In that time there’s been turnover in our group, plus some fill-in players. So I’ve probably played with upwards of 100 people in that time, many of whom played in college. At a recent bar conversation with several of the longest-tenured players, we could only name four or five who might throw 80 on one throw. We confirmed, via text message during the conversation, that one guy we played with one time was throwing in the mid-to-high 80s, but a) his pitches were demonstrably faster than everyone else’s and b) the same text message conversation revealed that the guy, a college pitcher, is now slated for labrum surgery.

My friend Bill threw in the high 80s in high school. I haven’t seen him throw in years and he may jump in the comments and say otherwise, but I suspect he could still throw at least as hard as Moyer today.

And that’s it. One friend from high school whom I suspect can, a couple guys from the very self-selecting group of baseball dudes that might, and one dude we played with one time who definitely could but now needs shoulder surgery. Throwing even as fast as Jamie Moyer is a very, very rare ability, which is why I guessed only 1 in 500 adult males can do it on the podcast and in the Twitter conversation with Gleeman.