Because so many people obviously felt so passionately about cheesesteaks, I figured the next logical step would be to name five sandwiches that are better than a cheesesteak.
I consider myself something of an expert in the subject. Recently, there was a Jeopardy! category on sandwiches, and not only did I know all the answers, but I had eaten all the answers.
I worked behind a deli counter for three years, and in that time I made many, many sandwiches. I was so good at it that if I was busy and other deli-men were unoccupied, customers would wait for me like they would a particular barber at the barber shop. One time I held up a roast beef with melted mozzarella on garlic bread to ask the customer if he wanted tomatoes on it, and the whole crowd of customers gasped. That’s how beautiful my sandwiches were.
It is the only job I’ve ever had that I can confidently say I was awesome at. If you’re ever in Rockville Centre, NY, go into DeBono’s Deli on North Village Avenue and ask Jay DeBono who the best employee he ever had was. Helpful hint: It’s your boy.
So trust me on this one. These are, in no particular order, five sandwiches better than a cheesesteak:
Chicken Madness (Wisemiller’s Deli and Grocery, Washington, DC): The Chicken Madness is chicken, bacon, cheese, and hot and sweet peppers diced up fine and served on a soft hero roll. What makes it mad is Wisey’s unique blend of reddish mystery spices and the delicious, disgusting grease from their million-year-old grill. James K will back me up on this, this is one hell of a sandwich. Note that it includes chopped up meat and cheese, just like a cheesesteak. The difference is that it’s far madder, and better. It’s the second best kind of madness after Space Madness. And Wisey’s Burger Madness is really good, too.
The guitarist in my band in college was a religious Jewish guy who kept Kosher. He promised me that I could be there if he ever ate bacon. College is a time for experimenting with new substances, and eventually, the guy broke. We got Chicken Madnesses and took them back to his apartment, and, though I’m not certain he’s ever eaten bacon again, he agreed that bacon was pretty f@#$ing awesome.
Cappy Ham and Cheese (Primanti Bros., Pittsburgh, PA): “Really, Ted? Just a plain old ham and cheese?” No, you fool. Calling this thing ham and cheese is like calling King Kong a monkey. It’s less of a sandwich and more of a ridiculous cavalcade of awesome. I can’t even remember all the things that are on there, but I know that there’s cole slaw, pickles and like a full order of french fries, and you have options to get a bunch of other things on there as well. It’s absolutely baffling that the cheesesteak should be the most identifiable sandwich native to Pennsylvania when the Primantis are serving this thing up in Pittsburgh. Also, Whoopie Pies are a kind of sandwich from Pennsylvania, and they’re really delicious too.
Berg’s Pepper Barge (DeBono’s Delicatessen, Rockville Centre, NY): This was initially called “Ted’s 12-incher,” but that name was deemed inappropriate for a family deli like De Bono’s. Anyway, the Pepper Barge includes pepper turkey, the massively underrated and underused pepper ham, De Bono’s own fresh mozzarella, and some oil and balsamic vinegar on a hero. I’d throw on roasted red peppers upon request, but that’s sort of gilding the lily. This sandwich has not received the type of critical fame that the ones listed above have — in fact, there’s no record of its existence on the Internet — but believe me, it’s awesome. I should know, I invented it.
Ferdi Special (Mother’s Restaurant, New Orleans, LA): If you go to Mother’s at lunchtime, you’ll probably have to wait so long that you begin to wonder if the sandwich is worth it. But don’t fret, it is. It’s ham, roast beef, a bunch of crispy vegetablish things, and debris on french bread. The key here is the debris — that’s little pieces of roast beef that fell into the gravy while roasting. It’s amazing, and bursting with delicious meaty flavor. Be warned, though: breakfast at Mother’s is overrated, and you’ll want to save room for beignets and muffuletta (another sandwich better than cheesesteak, though one left off this list so it wasn’t an overwhelming Italian selection) and so many of the other delicious local foodstuffs.
Mama’s Special (Leo’s Latticini, Queens, NY): Mets fans — and many others — know Leo’s as Mama’s. And if you’re a Mets fan with an interest in sandwiches, you probably know about the sandwich by now. I heartily recommend heading to the source and picking one up there, though — you can customize. Make sure you get sopressata on whatever you order, though. It’s like a spicier, coarser-ground salami. It’s amazing.
Tedquarters 
The Ferdi Special sounds (and looks) like the original French Dip from Phillipe’s in LA. The latter was one of my favorite sandwiches ever — I ate two for lunch the day I tried it.
Primanti Bros. is also the reason I’m tagging along with two of my Penguins-loving friends on a mid-winter road trip to Pittsburgh. I have tried other “Pittsburgh sandwiches” in other places but nothing beats the capicola sandwich at Primanti’s.
I currently live in Washington DC and I can assure there are no good sandwiches here. NONE! And the people here just don’t understand…
But as a native LIer I nominate The Boon from the Seaport Deli in Setauket.
Living in Boston now, grew up on LI, I miss NY deli’s every day. There just isn’t anything remotely similar to driving around Long Island or walking through NYC and knowing that any point in time you are most likely within reasonable walking/driving distance of a great deli sandwich/bagel/ or breakfast sandwich. Not to mention, all the “house” ice teas that deli’s make. Sweetened Iced tea that is.
oh and BTW…fantastic post. lol
gotta say it like tony soprano – gabagole
Great post. The Cerrone-Berg blogging dynamic right now reminds me of Dr. Dre–Eminem circa ’98. Established legend taking the hungry young kid under his wing, with explosive results.
I’ll confirm the Chicken Madness vote. For a year or 2 in school I would’ve said Burger Madness was superior but I have since changed back. I’m also partial to a couple Booey’s sandwiches (although not partial enough that I can remember their names) but Chicken Madness reigns supreme.
Non sandwich related, but the all you can eat Benihana Special on Saturdays at the Gtown Park Mall holds a special place in my heart.
I sense a surge in business for DeBono’s Deli.
I appreciate the sentiment as a former Hoya, but the chicken madness is vastly overrated. I would say that the burger madness is better, and I’m sure there are cheesesteaks out there better than anything Wisey’s makes.
hey first time long time here.
you need to go to the millburn deli in millburn nj and get a sloppy joe. rye bread, deli meat, slaw, provolone and russain dressing. it is a real taste sensation, let me tell you.
and i’ll corroborate all the talk about DC’s being total ass at sandwich making. DC food bows. oooh, but they can make a tasty chili dog. wow that is difficult. and people talk like Booeymonger’s is something special. it is not. it is a sad joke. although they do sell beer.
also, James, ive eaten at that benihana. neat!
I agree that the Primanti’s Bros. sandwich is superior. It’s ingredients are Italian bread, tomatoes, vinegar cole slaw, french fries, capicola, and cheese. And if you want, they’ll throw a fried egg on there for ya for an extra 50 cents. Ham is good, the keilbasa and cheese is better !
These sandwiches are all serious heart attackers. What’s the deal, no vegetarian option?
I’m open to the idea of a vegetarian sandwich, but it would take a particularly awesome vegetarian sandwich to best a cheesesteak.
Falafel is still cool.
True. If you could add bacon to a falafel, you might have a better sandwich.
Ted,
The Chicken Maddness sounds very much like the Full Bird from Busco’s Deli in RVC…quite an excellet sandwich. I would have to say the Bahn Mi sandwich from Paris Sandwich Bakery on Mott St in Chinatown in possibly the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten…and I’ve had the Berg’s 12″.
I’ve had many, many full birds in my life, and that sandwich was actually considered for this list. But the Chicken Madness was made with grilled, not fried chicken, and what made it excellent were the spices they used on it. Whatever they were. They were red.
I once ordered a meatball hero from DeBono’s, but the guy behind the counter insisted on making me a Berg’s Pepper Barge, which may have been tasty, but it was not what I wanted.
Plus, have you ever checked the “Ingredients” label on Steak-umm? There is only one ingredient.
A) I was doing what was best for you, whether you realized it or not.
B) I’m reasonably certain I’ve only had one Steak-umm in my life, and it was at your parents’ house.