As I mentioned earlier, today is Bash Philadelphia Day in the local papers.
I’ve got plenty of beef with Phillies fans, but I’m not going to rehash what’s been covered a billion times. And there are probably at least a couple of Phillies fans out there that are decent human beings, and I know plenty of people from Philadelphia have read this blog, so I’ll spare the city my vitriol.
But what gets me is the ridiculous pride over cheesesteaks. Here’s the thing about cheesesteaks:
Cheesesteaks are delicious, but I have had cheesesteaks outside of Philly that were better than the ones served at Pat’s or Geno’s. It’s not really a tough art to master: You slice steak really thin, grill it, cover it in cheese and put it on a hero.
They have decent cheesesteaks at the weird corporate food bar on the ground floor of my office building, and absolutely everything else at that place sucks.
That’s how easy it is to make cheesesteak. Almost all cheesesteaks are good because they’re filled with steak and cheese, and steak and cheese are really good.
Pizza-making is a delicate art form, and one not many have mastered. Same for bagels and knishes. I couldn’t make you any of those things to the New York standard unless I spent a whole lot of time practicing, and maybe apprenticing with good purveyors of the foodstuffs.
Cheesesteak? Give me a ride to ShopRite and 25 minutes and I’ll make you a delicious cheesesteak.
And what’s worse, places like Pat’s and Geno’s pride themselves on being rude. Awesome. So you’re entitled to act like a jackass because you’re willing to purchase Cheez Whiz in unreasonable quantities? We’re all very proud of you, guy.
And I’m supposed to revere Pat, the King of Steaks, because he invented the cheesesteak? Ooh, meat and cheese on bread. What a brilliant innovation! Who would have thought of that if you hadn’t, Pat? Oh, that’s right, the cheeseburger guy. Also the burrito guy, technically. And probably Bobby Valentine too if no one else got to it first.
Color me unimpressed. I’ll gladly eat your cheesesteak, but please don’t try to pass it off as a regional delicacy. Call me when you can make a knish.
Tedquarters 
It had to be said.
I had a cheesesteak at Citizen’s Bank Park (Add a redundant ‘ball’ to the front of park there and you’re talking about a minor league park in Islip..and the way the ball flies out of there, it might as well be) and I was sadly disappointed. I’ve had cheesesteaks on par with those at a disgusting deli in Jersey City.
Oh, and yeah, Chickie and Pete’s is good, but aren’t Bayside fries from catch of the day the same thing?
Pat serves a decent steak and I wasn’t particularly annoyed by the service.
Geno’s, however, is the definition of a tourist trap. The sandwiches are expensive and tasteless and help are loud and rude. Also, they honor slain police officer William Faulkner, which is fine, but they bludgeon you with “Murdered by Mumia Abu-Jamal” directly underneath his picture. What is that? Are you honoring the man, or are you trying to make a political statement? That left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, ironically, the only thing I tasted on my trip there.
If you want a good steak in Philly, try Jim’s on South Street. You don’t have to order your sandwich a certain way and the people making your sandwich are pleasant.
Yeah, I was going to mention the Mumia thing in the original post but I wasn’t eager to bring up all the politics there. But yeah, it’s definitely troubling.
What also gets me is when people and places, not within Philadelphia refer to cheesesteaks as ‘Philly cheesesteaks”.
Am I missing something? What exactly differentiates a cheesesteak from a ‘Philly cheesesteak’? If you are odering or serving a cheesesteak anywhere else, its just a cheesesteak, call it that. And its not original.
Not sure how familiar any of you are with central NJ or Rutgers, but the fat sandwiches at the grease trucks are something I would consider original.
Meat and cheese on a roll = not original
Cheesesteak …. with chicken fingers, Mozzarella sticks, french fries, ketchup, and mayo all together on a huge roll = Awesome
Wait, is that really a thing? And if so, where can I get that thing?
The Grease Trucks are on the College Avenue section of the Rutgers campus. They have a ton of disgusting/delicious sandwiches that will inevitably lead to diabetes if eaten with any regularity. That said, they are a must try at least once.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grease_Trucks
If you see Mo Vaughn there, tell him I said hello.
“Beetis!” – W. Brimley.
Also, the likelihood of me attending the Georgetown hoops game at Rutgers in February just went from “probably” to “definitely.”
Oh man, fat sandwiches . . . my brother and his wife lived in New Brunswick for a few years and he always told me about these things but I never got to actually eat one. I’ve always considered a trip back just for this purpose.
I used to go to the grease trucks a lot when I’d see bands play in basements on Somerset St. and then again when I briefly dated a Rutgers girl (and somehow didn’t get gonorrhea). It’s really, really, really worth the trip if you’re within an hour radius or so (former North Jersey resident).
But yeah, not really someplace to go for regular meals.
LOL, those things are gross. I mean, I’ve had two of them in a night once, but that was just poor judgment.
Fat Darrell and Fat Moon are the best though.
Yes its real, and yes its awesome. Intrusivity provided all the particulars above.
Even worse is when someone calls it a “Philly Steak and Cheese.”
i can confirm that there are ZERO Philly fans out there that are decent human beings.
All that being said, a cheesesteak is still a better sandwich than Derek Jeter and a couple of models.