I saw James Cameron on the street Monday night, outside of a bar on 51st St. in Manhattan.

I considered walking up to him and asking, excitedly, “Excuse me, are you the man responsible for Titanic?” and then, when he said yes, punching him in the face.

I realize that’s not a nice thing to do, plus James Cameron probably would spare absolutely no expense in suing my pants off, but on the other hand, Titanic sucked so hard. And I figure that’s a perfectly reasonable defense to present in court if I were to get sued for punching James Cameron.

“But your honor, did you even see Titanic? Why did Leo DiCaprio sink? Seriously. Dead people float!”

I opted not to do any bodily harm to James Cameron because, for one, it turns out he’s much bigger than me and, second, I remembered he also made the Terminator movies.

Also, I’m pretty psyched for Avatar.

I’m not certain Avatar will be good. In fact, if I had to bet, I’d guess it will suck. But because it’s the most expensive movie ever made, chances are it’s either going to be a towering epic or a complete catastrophe, and so, either way, it’s going to be awesome.

If you’re unfamiliar, the film opens Friday and is about a future in which humans are invading an alien planet to reap a mineral called — no joke — Unobtainium.

I assume there will be heavy-handed environmental allegory all over the place, which could be completely sickening or obvious but effective, depending on how much I like the movie.

Cameron himself has already produced some amazingly pretentious quotes about himself and his film, many of which are contained in this New York Times piece. Here’s my favorite:

My brother’s a Marine, and his friends are my friends, and this is how they think. Their idea is that the harder things get, the better it defines you. That’s something I understand. It’s why I make the kind of movies that I make. I’m not humping a 100-pound pack through 120-degree heat for 10 hours, but it’s the same kind of thing. I know I’m doing something other people can’t do.

You see, making a movie on a $250 million budget is the same kind of thing as BEING A MARINE.

With a master of simile like that at its helm, how can Avatar fail?

One particularly exciting thing about the movie is that it will feature an entirely new type of 3-D technology, which is described in the same Times article.

I’m on board with that. Say what you will about Cameron, the guy has always been dope at manipulating the best available cinematic technologies and creating new ones. Avatar stands to be a most awesome visual spectacle, regardless of whether it’s any good.

I’ll be seeing it in IMAX 3-D, because, as I’ve stated on numerous occasions, I like most things in ridiculous scale. Also because, as I’ve argued before, 3-D technology hasn’t really come very far since the old red-and-blue paper specs they used to hand out at 7-11 to promote sweeps week on FOX.

I think that’s crap, and so I’m hoping Cameron is the guy to usher in the next generation of making things in movies look like they’re flying off the screen at me. For that alone, I will be glad not to have punched him for Titanic.