I’m not going to lie: Today’s “From the Wikipedia” does indeed stem from a chain of Wikipedia links related to Rex Ryan’s Gatorade shower last night.

From the Wikipedia: Globster.

Before today, I had never heard of Globster. This is odd and somewhat troubling, as I consider myself an amateur expert in cryptozoology. Anyway, globster is the term given to any unidentified mass of organic material that washes up on the ocean shore, usually leading to wild and hilarious speculation.

Usually, it turns out, globsters are leftover adipose tissue from dead sperm whales, as was the case with the Chilean Blob of 2003, the Nantucket Blob of 1996, and Bermuda Blobs 2 and 3 in 1995 and 1997, but oddly not the original Bermuda Blob — that was a dead shark.

In rare instances, though, as in both the original Tasmanian Globster and Tasmanian Globster 2: Revenge Of Tasmanian Globster, the globster appears to have organs or flippers or tusk-like protuberances and could be more than just the remains of some massive dead sea creature we already know about; it could be the remains of some massive dead sea creature we don’t even really know about yet.

Like the Stronsay Beast. That do anything for you? No? Maybe a gigantic octopus then. Or Trunko.

They all could be out there, in the sea, just begging for us to study them and hopefully domesticate them in some way we haven’t figured out yet. And then they wash up dead on shore, and people are just like, oh hey, it’s just another globster, probably just some adipose tissue from another dead sperm whale.

But what if those are the keys to unlocking the mysteries of the deep, and we’re just dismissing them as more dead whale fat? Maybe if we could come up with a name less silly than “globster,” we’d take them a little more seriously.