According to this New York Post article, Rex Ryan consumes about 7000 calories a day.
Awesome. Disgusting, but awesome.
Here are some ways you could indulge in 7000 calories a day. These are all rough estimates:
Plan 1: The Bacon Day
Two eggs with bacon and cheese on a roll with ketchup and hot sauce. Starbucks whole milk Venti Latte. 16 oz. glass of OJ. Total: 1100 calories.
Wendy’s Triple Baconator, large fries, large Frosty dairy dessert, large Dr. Pepper. Total: 2700 calories.
10 slices of bacon. Total: 500 calories.
1/2 of a bacon explosion, can of Coke. Total: 2700 calories.
Plan 2: All Taco Bell
Grande Breakfast Burrito, Breakfast Quesadilla with Sausage, Hash Brown Nuggets. Total: 1130 calories.
Two Volcano Tacos, a Baja Beef Gordita, one order of Nachos BellGrande, one order of Cinnamon Twists and a large Pepsi. Total: 2100 Calories.
Two Crunchy Tacos, a Crunchwrap Supreme, a Grilled Stuft Burrito, a 1/2-pound Nacho Crunch Burrito, a Caramel Apple Empanada and a large Pepsi. Total: 2700 calories.
An order of Volcano Nachos and a Crunchy Taco. Total: 1150 calories.
*- At participating locations in test markets only.
Plan 3: Just a bunch of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts
All day long
35 Krispy Kreme Doughnuts
Plan 4: One meal at Outback Steakhouse
Bloomin’ Onion. Total: 1560 calories
Baby Back Ribs with Aussie Fries. Total: 2310 Calories.
1219 Calories worth of casual-dining awesomeness to get you drunk enough to make you forget you’re consuming 7000 calories in one sitting at Outback Steakhouse. No rules, just right.
Chocolate Thunder from Down Under. Total: 1911 Calories.
Alright, I’ve spent way too much time on this. Enjoy thinking about eating 7000 calories a day.
That seems like a lot, even for a fat guy.
I have to say, I’m rather surprised at the amount of food you have to eat at Taco Bell to get to that many calories. I thought I ordered a lot of food every time I went there, but I guess not, comparatively speaking.
I don’t know why this became a ‘story’. I mean, i understand why Michael Phelps eats a billion calories, but it’s also obvious that Rex doesn’t burn 7000 calories a day.
The Post ran out of ways to say “the Jets are lucky to be here,” so they settled on “the Jets are fat.” It’s a pretty entertaining story, though — the anecdote about him sneaking a pizza into his room is pretty hilarious.
A buddy of mine made the Bacon Explosion last year for the Superbowl. One bite and you feel like you ran up 5 flights of stairs. I recommend it.
At this point, I wonder if he’s even going to survive in NYC all that long.
WHOA, talk to me about this “Bacon Explosion.”
Sadly, I haven’t had one yet. I’ve been planning on making one for a while now, but it kind of feels like suicide.
I’m going to make one for the super bowl, if i remember to do it. I hope i remember.
Its like he on the michael Phelps diet, only Rex is not swimming 1000 laps a day in preparation for the Olympics.
Reading this just made my arteries clog.
I hope to one day, eat through all four plans in one day. I can dream, I can dream.
Can we combine all 4? Stuff a bacon explosion with volcano nachos, take a thick slice or that and place between two krispy kreme donuts. Wash it down with 1219 calories worth of casual-dining awesomeness to get you drunk.
I’m not sure if any of you are fans of Kissing Suzy Kolber, but this was one of their best:
I’m a fan, but when there’s too much cursing or sex references, which is constantly, it gets blocked by SNY’s fascist web filter.
While I envy your living my sports writing dreams, at least now I can take solace in being able to browse anything up to and including 4chan at work.
If you have a smartphone, it’s definitely worth a latrine read.
Here’s a question, if Rex Ryan ate a person, would that equal 7000 calories?
I enjoy your articles very much because they are spelled in an understandable perspicuous. So I can learn them although I come from Germany and have some problems to interpret English articles.