Oh good lord

This is a food coma of epic proportions. I’ll try to do my best reporting about what I sampled at the Mets’ second-annual Taste of the Citi event at Citi Field today because I feel it is my responsibility, but holy lord, you’ll have to excuse me if the thoughts aren’t exactly cohesive.

Struggling to stay awake. So much eating.

I should say that, though a good portion of the food at the event will be served at the stadium’s various restaurants and clubs, I stuck mostly to the stuff that will be available at the regular concessions, because TedQuarters is for the people. I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who chooses to dine in the Acela Club, and someday I figure I’ll get up there myself, but it’s not really my scene.

That said, I did try something called the Chocolate Epiphany, a brownie sundae served in the Empire Suites. It was like the full breadth of chocolate’s awesomeness was revealed to me in a single, stunning moment of divine intervention. I wish there was a word for that.

There’s Korean fried chicken at the World’s Fare Market now, too. I didn’t realize this variety of fried chicken was as popular among Mets fans as it apparently is until I Twittered about it from the event, but then I guess I should have considered that it’s delicious fried chicken.

If you’re unfamiliar, the crust is a little stickier and a lot spicier than the fried chicken you probably know, though the particular Korean fried chicken from Cafe Hanover that’s served at Citi wasn’t as gooey with sauce as Korean fried chicken I’ve had in the past. It was damn spicy though, and really good. So that’s something to look out for.

There are also a bunch of new pizza varieties, if that’s your thing. There’s buffalo chicken, chicken parm, veggie, and grandma pizza with vodka sauce. I tried the latter, and the vodka sauce was creamy and delicious.

I almost never get pizza at the game, for what it’s worth. At both of these events I’ve been impressed by how good the pizza is, but for some reason I just never feel like pizza when I’m actually at Citi. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived in two spots — Brooklyn and a very Italian part of Westchester — where great pizza is abundant.

The best thing I ate? The new garlic-parmesan fries from Box Frites. They’ve got garlic butter on them. How could that be bad?

There are Disco Frites, too, with cheddar cheese, gravy and fresh cheese curds. Those were good too, because, you know, they’ve got all those things on them, but not as good as the garlic-parmesan fries. The cheese curds weren’t really sticking to the fries, so they seemed kind of extraneous. Still awesome, mind you, because hey, cheese curds. But why are there cheese curds with this delicious poutine? (Ed. note: For perfectly good reason. See the comments.)

Still good? The chicken tacos.

One major disappointment? The new Nathan’s pretzel dog was nowhere to be found. I’m convinced that I invented this sometime in the early 1990s. I swear I’ve been going on about how someone need to put a hot dog in a pretzel since my first exposure to bagel dogs and I realized that hot dogs could be put in stuff.

The pretzel seems like a natural home for the hot dog since they’re both delicious ballpark foods that people like to cover with mustard. And I put ketchup on my pretzels, because I’m weird like that.

I have been told of instances of pretzel-dogs before, but I’m certain it’s due to fallout from all the campaigning I did for their creation in my teenage years. I know that sounds absurd, but hey, I’m hallucinating from all this food. Just indulge me.

Regardless, I have yet to actually enjoy a pretzel-dog, and so I look forward to doing so on Opening Day at Citi Field.

Also, another great example of the hot-dog-in-something-that’s-not-a-hot-dog-bun is the hush puppy from Ben’s Kosher Deli, which is a hot dog in a knish. They definitely need to get those at Citi Field.

OK, I’m done thinking for now. There’ll be video to follow, someday.

Oh, and pears! They have pears. I have a pear, here at my desk, from Citi Field. I like pears a lot.

27 thoughts on “Oh good lord

  1. Opening Day Schedule:

    11 am: Lunch #1 — Shackburger, Shackago dog

    1 pm: Lunch # 2 — Garlic-parm fries, buffalo chicken pizza

    TBD: Snacktime — Tacos

    Mix liberally with beer

    • That may well be true for the U.S., but I have to let you know that in Britain (and particularly the north of England), chips (as we call them) with gravy has been a working-class delicacy since time immemorial. Especially good mashed up with a fork and spread inside a buttered white oven-bottom muffin.

  2. He never thought to patent it! Falls View was famous for their Texas Weiners (chili dogs, but Jersey style –no beans). They also had great hot roast beef sandwiches. So one day my father, who was sort of the leader of the pack back in the day and always with entourage in tow, said to the owner, “Hey, Chris, you know that gravy you put on the roast beef? Put some of that on my fries.” Others followed suit and history was made. I thought it was a tall tale until the owner saw me at one of the offshoots of Falls View that still exists (the ones that carry its name now in Jersey are knock offs with no affiliation to the original) and says my kids, “Hey, you know you grandfather invented french fries with gravy?” He then went into the whole story. The other key was wax paper so that the gravy didn’t destroy the paper plates. My dad had nothing to do with that. But if I had a nickel for every….

  3. Ted – in response to why there are cheese curds on the poutine – of course there are.

    Poutine is cheese curds and gravy, the cheddar cheese is the extraneous one (probably because no one outside of extreme Northern/Western NY and Canada would eat them).

    • I stand corrected. Weird. Could crappy places in the Montreal area sell cheese-fries-with-gravy as “poutine,” or was my 20-year-old palate not distinguishing enough to recognize the difference between cheese curds and cheese?

      • I recall eating “poutine” from a food stand at Olympic Stadium back in the late 80s/early 90s so, probably the answer to your question is “yes”.

      • The Big O had the real stuff. But yes some places (like the North of the Border A&W Root Beer shoppes) had it. Also Vermont Borderland uses Cheddar, but they’re all Red Sox fans, so they suck.

  4. It seems to me that you’ve pretty much pulled a Bill Simmons – you get to have this fantasy job writing and experiencing sports from a perspective that we mere mortals can only dream about. Unfortunately you seemed to have fallen short of bringing us a bunch of championships.

  5. Regarding the pretzel dogs, there’s a little spot in Baltimore called Cross Street Market in the Federal Hill section, which is about a 15 minute walk from Camden Yards, that makes the best pretzel cheese dog in the world. No competition. If that guy were to open a stand in Citi the lines would rival Shakeshack. damn those are good.

  6. If you’re ever in London and pining for poutine there’s a stall which sells an excellent plateful at Borough Market by London Bridge (which by the way is probably the best place to wander around and eat if you are a food-lover – probably thirty great places to buy lunch in about half a square mile.)

  7. “It was like the full breadth of chocolate‚Äôs awesomeness was revealed to me in a single, stunning moment of divine intervention. I wish there was a word for that.”

    There is: “Chocasm”

  8. I love Cross Street Market! Three years ago this summer, the summer before I was leaving to come here to Wisconsin for college, my dad and I went on a father-and-son trip down to Baltimore to watch two Red Sox-O’s games. We got two pretzel cheese dogs each and pondered grabbing a few more to take with us to the game. I second that they are amazingly delicious.

    P.S. The best part of that trip was the Church near Camden. It had a message board outside, and on it, it said “May God Bless The O’s, And Maybe The Sox, But The Yankees, Lord Forgive Us Our Thoughts.” Great stuff down there in Baltimore.

  9. I live in Northern NY and real poutine is good fresh cheese curd and gravy…other types of cheese just arernt the same. If you get it at Citi, ask for it without the cheddar, Im sure it would be much better.

  10. pretzel dogs are pretty common Ted. if you are at an airport like LGA, the pretzel stands (auntie anne’s) have good pretzel dogs and jumbo dogs. i suggest you fly American Eagle to get one of these.
    also, at Busch Stadium (the newest one) in STL, they sell ‘bratzels’ which are exactly what they sound like.

  11. Is there going to be some sort of fat ass map where it lists the stand and the food it sells? it will make my trips more direct

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