According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Division of Self-Mutilation, this NCAA tournament destroyed last year’s record for in-view tattoos as seen permanently burned into the flesh of young student-athletes.
I don’t care what your position is on this pop-cultural “advancement” — whether you recognize that it’s another mainstreamed gift from our prison systems and street gangs — but you’ll admit that it seemed half the starters in this year’s tournament were covered with tattoos. Covered.
From there, Mushnick goes on to spend the next several hundred words just cracking jokes about how difficult it must be for these NCAA basketball players to see the tattoos that cover their own bodies, including several about how the text must appear backwards when they see it in the mirror and so they should consider having it written backwards. Poignant stuff.
I don’t have any tattoos and I’m not planning on ever getting any. Obviously I don’t begrudge anyone the right to ink themselves blue, it’s just way too permanent of a commitment for me.
I did watch a friend endure some pretty serious tattoo regret one time, though. It was heavy stuff, too. I was with him after he got his sixth or seventh tattoo, and I guess he didn’t like it, and he became really regretful and freaked out a bit about the permanence of what he had done to his body.
He got over it, though, and now has two full sleeves. That’s the happy ending.