Gilbert Arenas on shark attacks

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack….

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, ‘There have been 10 shark attacks,’ I’m like, ‘Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.’

Gilbert Arenas, blog.

Ahhh, that’s a reasonable point I guess. I’ve got nothing.

Hat tip to my buddy Ron for an old link that I somehow missed.

UPDATE, 6:15 a.m.: Devon points out that Gilbert Arenas stole — or borrowed, or sampled — the shark joke from a comedian named Ian Edwards.

3 thoughts on “Gilbert Arenas on shark attacks

  1. I’m disappointed in you, Ted. You’re perpetrating Arenas’ plagiarism of Ian Edwards:
    “Yeah, you’ve all been talking about it. I used someone else’s joke. What’s the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.

    Mission accomplished.

    Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.”

  2. Gil Scott-Heron made a similar comment about the movie “Jaws”:

    (skip to about 5’30 for the Jaws bit, although the whole piece is worth a listen)

    The line “You goin’ to the beach, he’s goin’ to the supermarket” is priceless. That recording is from 1982. Bottom line- recycling jokes is nothing new.

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